Our partner

New person here, let's see what happens?

Factitious Disorder message board, open discussion, and online support group.

New person here, let's see what happens?

Postby Justa3v » Tue Aug 02, 2016 9:58 am

New here,


About me...

I am a compulsive liar, and that being coupled with a very high I.q., has made the past 17 years of my life hell. I have been depressed, I am o.c.d., and when I was a lot younger I was diagnosed with a.d.h.d. and bi-polar. I have never owned up to anything or came clean about my issues to anyone. Seeing as how this has always affected my working life ( I have never been able to hold a steady job, in fact, my longest job ever has been for 1 yr. And 2 months) I have either been fired or just never went back to countless jobs due to the fear of getting fired for lying, I can not afford to see a psychologist or a therapist. After all this time I have finally decided I have had enough living my life being a liar. I do not know why, but I have always wanted to be liked, and was always afraid of people not liking me and could not say "no" to anyone. I have been taken advantage of a lot through out my life and I too have taken advantage of ALOT of people and never really regretted it because I would block it out and push it away. I would lie about anything to gain social acceptance and have people look up to me. I yearned for it. I DO NOT HAVE ANY SUBSTANCE ABUSE ISSUES AND I HAVE NEVER THOUGHT OR ATTEMPTED TO TAKE MY OWN LIFE. Being bi polar and a compulsive liar, it has cost me many friendships, cost me many relationships, and put me and my family through a lot of grief and stress. My reputation where I live is tarnished beyond repair, and I have found myself over the past several months trying to right my wrongs. I've literally grown tired of constantly lying to cover other lies and have finally had enough. It really bothers me how people think of me now. When things with friends/employers/customers would turn bad, I would get extremely defensive and spin the situation to where I was the victim. I have done a lot of "soul searching" and now understand that 99% of what I have been through I have caused. I admitted it to myself that I was the problem, no one else. I would cause myself to be in the situations I was in because of my actions, and it was all based around me being a lazy, lying sack of crap. I want to change, I decided to change and I have been. Every time I get nervous or put in a position, my first instinct would be to lie. I mean, I could spin a story off my tongue in an instant to try to save face or get out of trouble, or, to try to look "cool". Being that I am infact a very intelligent, well spoken person I could make anyone believe anything I wanted them too, and could keep it going for a very long time. I remember literally everything and could have 15 different stories with 20 different people and keep it going. I have a severe issue with lying and I Am a pathological liar. For the past few months, since I decided enough was enough, and even though it has been ingrained in my daily life to lie on a moments notice, when asked or put in a situation to where I would normally lie, I would take a breath, and force myself to tell the truth. I am aware that there is no "cure" and no medication to stop being a pathological liar, but I am hoping that constantly forcing myself to tell the truth, and admitting when I make mistakes, that eventually I will be able to tell the truth without having to really force myself to. I am not sure if that makes sense, but I assume that if your on this forum, that it will. I am hoping that this helps me better myself further and I hope that I can also help others as well. I will post more as time goes on but for now I feel I have written enough. I will also use this post as a kind of journal. Questions/comments are appreciated, good or bad. Thank you
Justa3v
Consumer 0
Consumer 0
 
Posts: 1
Joined: Tue Aug 02, 2016 9:17 am
Local time: Mon Mar 01, 2021 1:40 pm
Blog: View Blog (0)


ADVERTISEMENT

Re: New person here, let's see what happens?

Postby Veritatem » Sat Feb 18, 2017 1:51 pm

I believe you can do it too!
Your bravery and honesty is the first step, both are admirable traits.
Build on them and keep trying
Wanting to help others is a good thing too. Is there anywhere you could do this in some capacity in your life? Career? Volunteering or personal life. Helping others is always very rewarding and shifts the focus away from ourselves. Might make you feel better about yourself.
Lots of luck, sounds like your well on your way to mastering this x
Veritatem
Consumer 2
Consumer 2
 
Posts: 42
Joined: Fri Feb 17, 2017 1:29 pm
Local time: Mon Mar 01, 2021 1:40 pm
Blog: View Blog (0)


Return to Factitious Disorder Forum

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest