Sexy girl wanted to bang and I couldn't get hard

Hey,

I am a fit 21 year old, I don't do drugs, only drink and smoke on some weekends I have always had trouble having a boner while drunk, most one night stands is a real struggle and so I kinda just avoid them now but I never had a problem sober until today, I have been friends with a really sexy girl for about 2 years we go out drinking together a lot, prior to this she had a bf so I only saw her as a mate as I don't **** with a guys gf's even though I always knew she liked me, but anyway one day we're talking she says she wants to become fwb and I am down.

She only has a couple hours but she comes over to mine, I was worried I wouldn't get a boner before she even came even though the past few days she had been sending me nudes and talking dirty and I had no problem then, as we get into the foreplay terror of terrors my dick doesn't even budge... I had heard tell of performance anxiety and so I decided I would simply just "Get into it" and just tried to enjoy it, even though I was admittedly nervous she even said as much, I could feel my adrenaline going and I was always thinking "Am I getting hard" despite trying not to, eventually I got hard enough for her to give me a brief BF before I said I wanted to **** her but by the time she was in position I was limp again.....

I played it pretty cool afterwards, we just chatted some **** and I pretended not to care, she thought it was her fault I just said I was nervous and it'll be different in the future when i'm more comfortable. In the past I have never had a problem ######6 girls, especially girls I didn't find attractive or really like so I am unsure why I did now she said we should try again later and was rather annoyingly understanding.

I am really quite annoyed right now, scratch that royally pissed off at myself I feel like I wanna break **** so perhaps some advice?

1) What might've caused this

2) How do I prevent this? (Without drugs/herbal-**** preferably)

3) What should I do with the girl now? I feel conflicted to bring it up as on one hand it's not very attractive and on the other it's ######6 annoying me. This happened to me before on a couple one night stands (While drunk) and the girls just cut contact.

Hi

Reading your story sounds like reading my story. Chalk it up to performance anxiety bud, it gets the best of us from time to time. To answer your other question, the best thing to do straight away is keep it in the past. Yes you were nervous but thats not who you are all the time. Listen to your body and do what feels right. Im not going to be the one to tell you to “just relax”. Youll know what im talking about when youre in the mood and your animal instincts kick in for some great sex. You can explore things like CBD oil and seritonin boosting supplements to help curb your nerves. Remember you being mad at yourself and/or your dick is just making the situation worse and putting undo stress on you.
Ive had the issue on and off since i was 16, im 30 now. Good news ive had a lot of sex, and i am starting to accept that i am human and some times ill have sex and sometimes i wont. Once you get comfy with someone youll see sex doesnt have to be erection centered. Theres all sorts of things you can do to pleasure her and distract yourself to hop into the moment.
If shes gone after this encounter, shes doing you a favor by showing you how she handles situations and you can move on with life. She could be the flip side girl like my wife and is ready to try whatever to get me back in my sex state of mind so we can bang it out like lovers.

Josh

This happened to me twice. They were extremely attractive, I got hard but lost my erection just before penetration because of sexual performance anxiety (coital anxiety).

Don't overthink it, give it some time and forget about it. Anxiety is a perfectly normal biological reaction ('fight or flight' response), you just need to find ways to control your stress levels.

Do some research on this, as well. Read books (I strongly recommend anything written by the brilliant American urologist Tom F. Lue), talk to doctors, consult good websites. The more you know about sex, the less stressful it will be.