Hi all,
Don’t want to ramble so I’ll try to sum up my story.
Started with first real gf when I was 16, she was older and experienced, we made plans for after I got off work and I couldn’t get an erection. This happened for the rest of our short relationship, penetrated a couple times once I was more distracted but would go soft again.
I took a break from dating and did my own thing then got with my current now wife when we were 18. Had no problems for years, maybe just the usual normal every now and then the don’t feel good etc let’s go to bed type sexual failure.
Now we are married, 29, with two small children and my psychological ED is hitting about 95% of the time. It seemed to get bad right around when she was pregnant last so I use my daughters age as a good gauge (3 years). My mind is all consumed by it now, a typical scenario is in bed when the kids are finally asleep. She wants a full rub down, foreplay, etc to get into the mood but my penis wants slam bam right then or I will get into my head and boom erection gone right before I penetrate. She gets frustrated with the situation so now doesn’t touch my penis much maybe she feels it’s something she’s doing wrong. I don’t feel that way, her form hasn’t really changed since we first started. Once in the mood she’s really sexual and engaged.
We are considering therapy, was wondering if people had success stories etc.
On my end I’ve changed my diet (paleo essentially). I go to the gym four days a week. I am starting to incorporate kegal type exercises to strengthen my erections. I never have a problem on my own so I don’t think it’s physical, I have been diagnosed with borderline low T but everyone is different for optimum levels. I meditate on a daily basis as well.
Other avenues I want to start working on this week are visualization, and maybe switching up how we go about having sex to check off that vanilla sex box if that’s happening.
It feels good sharing, please feel free to chime in I could use a friend I could talk to about these problems I’m having. It wears on me and makes me depressed at times.
Feedback welcome
Josh