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30+ Male, Pysco-Sexual therapy not having desired impact

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30+ Male, Pysco-Sexual therapy not having desired impact

Postby camb1980 » Wed Mar 08, 2017 4:51 pm


I'm man in my early 30s and have suffered from ED for about 5/6 years. It use to effect me 40/50% of time, however more recently it's been impacting sex about 80% of time.

I'm in a loving relationship of about 4 years and have a supportive girlfriend, however when the problem does occur she too can get frustrated, and it does impact our relationship. I am however lucky that I can talk to her about my ED.

It's incredibly frustrating when it happens (and sometimes leads to avoidance). I can usually get an erection ok, however If I start to think about my problem then I usually loose my erection. It's then hard to get it back. We probably have sex once every 3 weeks, which isn't enough for both of us.
On the rare occasions where I'm in the moment so much that I don't think about my problem. Then I am ok and have great sex. I just find it very hard to turn off my brain, I'm constantly worrying about losing my erection. In addition when we are on holiday I'm usually ok and have sex every other day.

I started seeing a Pysco-sexual therapist in 2015. Initially I found it good to talk to someone and less shame. I did see an initial improvement in my sex life, but this tailed off. I started to see another therapist end of last year, again it was initially good to talk but I don't see a sustained impact, Indeed now my problem is as bad as it's ever been. Both Therapist i've spoken to have suggested sensate focus, we've tried this but it is very sterile and leaves us thinking this a treatment for couples who aren't intimate. As a couple we are intimate we do kiss cuddle and touch each other, intimacy isn't a problem it's just we don't have sex as much as we like due to my problem and my brain not being able to turn off when we are going to have sex.

Has anyone else had a similar problem at a similar age? What's the best bit of advice you can give me?

Recently I have been prescribed Viagra by doctor, but have not taken it yet as my ED is very much a psychological issue, and I don't want to get disheartened further should the Viagra not prove effective. I have been avoiding taking Viagra for this reason. Has anyone else with Psychological ED successfully taken Viagra?

Bit of a rambling post. Just wanted to see if anyone else is going through my specific problem. Would be good to hear from someone,

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Re: 30+ Male, Pysco-Sexual therapy not having desired impact

Postby Snaga » Fri Mar 10, 2017 8:20 am

I don't have a sure fire fix, but I did want you to know you're not alone- the least little doubt or thought can shut me down in a hurry, also.

Tell someone you love them today, for Life is short. But scream it at them in Klingon, for Life is also terrifying and confusing.

We do not delete posts.
Let it go.
Without (forum) rules, we all might as well be up in a tree flinging our crap at each other.
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Re: 30+ Male, Pysco-Sexual therapy not having desired impact

Postby josh0745 » Mon Nov 13, 2017 4:16 pm


First post after finding this forum and it’s like I’m reading my own story in this thread. I’m about to be 29 and my psychological ED is at full tilt. My wife and I are considering therapy, I really don’t have any silver bullets except I can only have sex when it’s spontaneous. Oral usually makes me orgasm as well but my wife is feeling frustrated so she doesn’t touch me much out of fear more than anything.
I’m ready to put it behind me so I’ll try just about anything at this point but not really feeling the pill popping for the rest of my life. Would be great to hear from you and any updates you might have on your end!
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