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A Disgusting Case of Elder Abuse

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A Disgusting Case of Elder Abuse

Postby AnyJustice » Sat Apr 22, 2006 11:44 pm

:?: :cry:

I'm relating the incredible events that I thought people out there should know and be warned.
My friend is now 76 years of age. He married a woman who was diagnosed early in the marriage as a schizophrenic. In spite of difficulties and false accusations, demands for F(this friend) to isolate from his 2 brothers and their families. F continued to work hard to provide for his family. 5 year of marriage a daughter was borned. A son was born 3 years later. F had to started a home base business so that he could look after his wife and children.
He couldn't " abandon ship" whilst his wife was ill. After 40 years -- F single handedly amassed a neat asset pool (mainly thru clever property investments)
On the day of his 40th wedding anniv. He was told by his adult children (35 and 38 years old) that their mother no longer wanted to live with F.
As F had just commited himself to a new investment property and new mortgage he could not afford to relocate his wife and himself.
Matrimonial home was divided into two separate apartments. Leaving him with very crammed quarters. That arrangement was supposed to be temporary. As soon as F could financially ( less that a year later) he approached his son, who has power of attorney for his mother, to discuss property settlement. Valuations of all assets were made, a discussion with a solicitor were organised.
NOTHING EVENTUATED. Inspite of several approaches. Children ignored his attempts for property settlemnt. It's coming to 8 years since F has been living in sub-standard living quarters. Yet, his children refused to settle amicably. Relationships soured further. They do not care about him - no contacts via phone, mobile or email. His physical health is failing.
Letters from their solicitors -- firstly, demanded that the wife gets 60% of all assets, plus maintenance ( she is 70 years old)
and now demands for 2 plum property (giving her a weakly rental income of approx $800 and F only $300 PLUS 55% of all other assets.

[/b] IT IS CLEAR TO EVERYONE THAT HIS KIDS JUST WAITING FOR HIM TO DIE SO THEY CAN HAVE THE LOT. This is because even a new will have NO effect on His Family Trust. (F set up the family trust for his family - NOT KNOWING THAT THEY WOULD DO THIS TO HIM.
After 8 years of trying -- F is very frail physical, emotionally..

He would like to hear from anyone out that. Even a comment would make him feel someone else out there cares.
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A Disgusting Case of Elder Abuse

Postby AnyJustice » Sun Apr 23, 2006 1:09 am

:D

Thank you very much for caring enough to make a comment. I'll definitely let my friend know. I'm not his only friend. However, neither his own 2 brothers and friends could do anything to help him.
He had worked hard all his life for his family. All he wanted was 50% of the asset pool. His children will not budge.

I would encourage others out there to continue to give him encouragement. He has NO ONE else to turn to.
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Punishment for Perpetrators of Elder Abuse

Postby AnyJustice » Sun Apr 23, 2006 10:04 pm

There must be many, many cases of elder abuse out there.
In the case of my friend F's case. There are documentary evidences of his efforts to settle amicably. Testimonies from his brothers about his efforts for his wife and children. Evidence that the children and just stalling awaiting his death. YET, nothing else can be done to expose the perpetrators.
All we can do is to sit around and wait for the snail-pace process of law to take place.
Meanwhile, more damage is done.
In cases, like my friend F -- if he dies, the perpetrators win NO RECOURSE.
I find this most unacceptable. Can't something be done for these poor folks. Why can't the perpetrators be punished????
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Postby yakasushii » Mon Jun 05, 2006 4:40 am

how is your friend doing now?
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Thank you

Postby AnyJustice » Fri Jun 09, 2006 10:31 pm

My friend F's health is deteriorating.

His 'seriously mentally ill wife' miraculously is doing very well since the children found out through the solicitors that even 50% would give them close to 1.5million.

The children now agreed on principle 50% split BUT would want time to pick the property owned by the family trust.

F's is feels abandoned by everyone. Even on his few hours with the grandkids at his daughter's place -- he gets constant hostility from his daughter.
His brothers still consider F's children as their niece and nephew and would not say anything to them. In fact, at family functions those two are greeted as though nothing happened.

For almost 8 years, F has been left in a shockingly crammed living quarters because the children (who have power of attorney for their mother ) refused to settle. F could have sold one of the property to relocate himself BUT all that time he thought things would be settled quickly and that the family trust assets would be preserved for his family.

ELDER ABUSE -- OF THIS KIND. PSCHOLOGICAL AND FINANCIAL ABUSE (I.E. INSIDIOUS WAYS OF PREVENTING THE VICTIMS FROM GETTING THEIR RIGHTFUL FINANCES ) Are harded to expose.

I wish the rest of us can do something for such victims.
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Postby yakasushii » Mon Jun 12, 2006 2:26 am

i'm very sorry to hear that.

however, there is something that you, and the others around him CAN do... you can continue to be there for him emotionally. let him know that you haven't abandoned him, and that you truly do care for him. you obviously do care for him because you've created this thread, seeking help... unfortunately, nobody but me has replied. perhaps you can get more help if you posted on other support forums as well...

his biological family may have departed from him, but perhaps his REAL family is in those who have stood by him, regardless of what has happened. you are one of these people...

psychological damage is rampant. this is evident in the mass number of members and guests on this one forum alone... i wish people wouldn't suffer as much as they do, but sometimes, when people are able to endure them... they become stronger. i fear for your friend though, as it seems to late for him... his biological family clearly underappreciates him. i wish so very much that this weren't the case. now, his friends (including yourself!) need to show all the apprecation and support you can provide... while he can still cherish and own such a beautiful gift.

i hope your friend takes care. he deserves it.
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Thank You so much

Postby AnyJustice » Tue Jun 13, 2006 1:28 am

Thank you very very much for taking time to reply on this case.

Yes, you are absolutely right. Many of F's friends and his original family cannot understand WHY his own family does all these to him.
If fact, many his friends have shied away. Probably, feeling sad and helpless. I still try my best to comfort him. I think we can also understand his dismay at losing the love, care and even consideration from his family.

We (his small group of friends) would greatly appreciate if you could like us know what other support forums we could pose F's story so he would at least get more support.

I will certainly pass on your well wishes and suggestions.

Thanks again.....................
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Postby yakasushii » Tue Jun 13, 2006 4:05 am

hello again,

first, i just wanted to say that i apologize for having my previous posts deleted. my account was inadvertently deleted, so i lost all of my posts... and i registered again.

http://www.seniorsapprove.com/expert.html
here, you can ask an expert for some advice on your friend's situation. it's specifically targeted towards seniors.

http://forum.freeadvice.com/forumdispla ... 26ff&f=115
you'll want to post here. it includes discussion of elder abuse.

http://discussions.seniornet.org/cgi-bin/WebX?14@@
another message board. i'm not sure which are you should post in... perhaps you can try the "discussions we should know about" one... maybe the "conversataion discussions" and "health matters" ones as well... whichever you think is suitable, and might elicit some responses. you might want to try posting in different areas, to get more help.

http://www.safe4all.org/forums/forum-vi ... %5fid=6756

i hope these links help. i also want to thank you and his other friends for noy shying away from him. i'm sure he appreciates it.

take care*
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