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Overthinking and Depressionn

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Overthinking and Depressionn

Postby TibbersTParty » Sun Feb 26, 2017 3:38 pm

I have had different variations of depression throughout my life, though it has been at its worst for months. I am currently in therapy as well as on Celexa prescribed by a psychiatrist. To clarify, I go to therapy once a week and my therapist also referred me to their psychiatric center to get medication for treatment in addition to the cognitive therapy she offers. Before my depression set in at its worst, I was very happy in a new relationship. I was so happy and our relationship went very well for a few months, I then started getting intrusive thoughts and they became obsessive. My anxiety set in really badly. He went away for a month for work and my issues grew. I don't blame the fact that he was gone for a long time for my issues at all, although I do think part of the reason I feel disconnected now is because we lacked communication during my struggle with the obsessive thoughts. I felt empty, hopeless, anxious, I couldn't get the thoughts to stop. I eventually decided to start therapy again as it has been a couple years since I was in therapy. I was diagnosed with dysthymia. So far, I have been on three different types of medication for it. The first two I reacted badly to, the third I am currently on and awaiting results on whether or not it will help me.
When I think I have my thoughts under control, my mind starts to find something else to latch onto to pull me back in. I sleep at least 18 hours a day if I can get away with it (I can fall asleep or I'm not busy that day). On the days I desperately want to be asleep, I take several melatonins to put myself out for extended periods of time. I remember one time I feel asleep around 8pm the previous night, woke up at around 8am and took three 3mg melatonins and slept until 8pm that night. Now, I take about seven or eight 3mg melatonins when I really can't bear to be awake. When I think about how I just want to be happy and to stop having these obsessive, terrible thoughts and that I don't want to be a bad person, my brain will make me question, say, morals and such. "What even is monogamy?", "why should I even care?", etc. I feel numb and emotionally distraught all at once and its hindering my life- productivity, general happiness and feelings, and my relationship. My therapist calls this part of depression the "I don't give a ###$ " stage of it. Anyone else experience emotional indifference while knowing your true feelings at the same time but still question everything? Advice? Has anyone recovered from this and found their way out of feeling like this?
Last edited by quietgirl2538 on Mon Feb 27, 2017 1:54 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Overthinking and Depressionn

Postby quietgirl2538 » Mon Feb 27, 2017 1:53 am

I went through a period during a part of my life, while very depressed, thinking I just didn't care anymore. Maybe it wasn't "I don't give a ###$," kind of thinking but it meant I just gave up. I couldn't fight the good fight so I waited out my time and then I was hospitalized for being suicidal. I got well. I am now at a good point in life. I am working on becoming stable (I have Bipolar I), and it is all going well. I see the pdoc and the therapist. I am getting help. I am glad to know you are also getting help.
“There’s an Asian expression that ‘a burden shared is halved.’"

Bipolar I
ADD (inattentive kind)
*I take loads of meds, but they keep me stable
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