Am I being abused or am I being emotional?

Ever since I was young girl until the age of almost 30, my father has consistently verbally abused me me.and emotionally tormented me by making me feel as if I am worthless, as if I'm the worst person in the world even though I never did anything wrong and always obeyed him. He's done a lot of good things for me of course as he has been caring and kind and has provided me with a lot of opportunities and security. So sometimes I feel bad for feeling as if he is the reason why why I'm always feeling upset inside and they have been times in my life where he has been physically abusive and even though he has apologised many times he never really changes. he likes to put me down and remind me of any mistakes that I have made in the past as a way of making me look bad and and trying to make the rest of the family think love me and he he always compares me to people that he hates searches some family members who were very bad towards him and yet he compares me to them even though I have never done anything bad to him and even though I have nothing in common with those people.
this has happened for almost three decades and I still live with him and I feel like I have not developed properly because of the way that he's treated me and he never wanted to take blame for any of it and he always says that is my fault for being underdeveloped emotionally and socially and for having confidence issues and social anxiety.
because of so many years of him clouding my judgement and manipulating my emotions and telling me that I'm bad for feeling angry at him for the verbal and physical abuse is given to me, I feel confused as to whether I really am the victim or if all of this is just over exaggerated because of my emotions.
I'm confused because I don't know so what is actually going on in if I am a victim of abuse and if what he has done to me is right or wrong.

Your emotions are real, and in many ways as real as it gets. From what you relate to how you feel, I am inclined to believe you may have been abused.

You seem to be look for some sort of validation of your abuse, and doing so anonymously on a public forum. This inclines me to think you may have been abused.

Your description of the behavior of your father to me seems to indicate at the least emotional/psychological abuse, which again leads me to believe you may have been abused.

Were you abused? My first impression is that you likely were- but YOU need to know that for yourself- what it means, what it implies, and what it means to move forward from abuse. I encourage you to seek a therapist, and one who specializes in Psychological abuse. Do your research, find one and begin your journey towards sound mental health.

Good luck!

You have been a victim and it's a hard spot bc we do need support, love, and acceptance to properly develop. You put your finger right on it, because of your abuse you haven't been able to flourish.

HOWEVER, getting your abuser to stop, to apologize, to make it right in any way is not going to happen. You face a monumental journey ahead of you. If you wish to get better you must find the confidence and willpower to do it for yourself. It will be hard.