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passive aggressive

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passive aggressive

Postby RottingNeurons » Wed Feb 05, 2020 5:23 pm

So, i have to start off that i seek no attention, pity or sorrow. The recurring thought of suicide is so common now that it has become normal for me. Thats where im at right now, and have been there for a while.

I am in a relationship with a woman, lots of baggage between us, i dont care about her baggage (meaning that her past doesnt bother me in the slightest. matter of fact, i find it to be interesting) not so much in vice versa. She has 2 kids from a previous marriage that problems have happened with. Theft, fights, punching holes in walls, setting things on fire etc etc. Kids stuff. Living in a household where im not allowed to parent but expected to carry the burdens of parenting has become too much for me. Ive kicked her and the boys out of my house, but after 15 mos they came back. She is up to the same old tricks. I feel as tho i am stuck and cannot get her out of my life without everything around me collapsing. Im ready to sell the house now, whereas i was stuck in it due to the first time buyers issue i had. Part of me just says "the hell with it all". My dad is falling apart and is raising my 9 year old nephew since by brother is in prison and the kids incubator is also dead. My mom is dead as well, leaving my poor dad to take care of him by himself. Im basically an outcast in my family anyways, so this keeps leading me to what reason do i have to even be alive anymore? I cant help my dad, my home situation is exquisitely horrible, my work life is $#%^ too. I do have a good job that pays ok, not good, but ok, but its $#%^ because the lady i live with also works with me and carpools with me...

i dont even know where to begin, but i know that there is an optional end. Dont know which way i should even go. Ive tried the first one 3000 times. Dont know if i have another blast of steam in me to make it 3001
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Re: passive aggressive

Postby Manners73 » Sun Feb 09, 2020 5:15 pm

First of all, there is another way out of all this.

You need to ask yourself what it is you want.

I'm pretty certain you don't want to die.
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Re: passive aggressive

Postby quietgirl2538 » Sat Mar 07, 2020 2:32 am

RottingNeurons wrote:So, i have to start off that i seek no attention, pity or sorrow. The recurring thought of suicide is so common now that it has become normal for me. Thats where im at right now, and have been there for a while.

I am in a relationship with a woman, lots of baggage between us, i dont care about her baggage (meaning that her past doesnt bother me in the slightest. matter of fact, i find it to be interesting) not so much in vice versa. She has 2 kids from a previous marriage that problems have happened with. Theft, fights, punching holes in walls, setting things on fire etc etc. Kids stuff. Living in a household where im not allowed to parent but expected to carry the burdens of parenting has become too much for me. Ive kicked her and the boys out of my house, but after 15 mos they came back. She is up to the same old tricks. I feel as tho i am stuck and cannot get her out of my life without everything around me collapsing. Im ready to sell the house now, whereas i was stuck in it due to the first time buyers issue i had. Part of me just says "the hell with it all". My dad is falling apart and is raising my 9 year old nephew since by brother is in prison and the kids incubator is also dead. My mom is dead as well, leaving my poor dad to take care of him by himself. Im basically an outcast in my family anyways, so this keeps leading me to what reason do i have to even be alive anymore? I cant help my dad, my home situation is exquisitely horrible, my work life is $#%^ too. I do have a good job that pays ok, not good, but ok, but its $#%^ because the lady i live with also works with me and carpools with me...

i dont even know where to begin, but i know that there is an optional end. Dont know which way i should even go. Ive tried the first one 3000 times. Dont know if i have another blast of steam in me to make it 3001


Hello RottingNeurons,
I'm very sorry to hear you are dealing with SO much! It all sounds overwhelming. How are you feeling today, these last few days? I know the feeling of life feeling like it's too much and too hard at times. Just feels like it's too much. Hang in there. I just want you to feel better and feel joy in life.
“There’s an Asian expression that ‘a burden shared is halved.’"

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ADD (inattentive kind)
*I take loads of meds, but they keep me stable
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