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Am I an abuser or am I being abused

Open Discussions About Domestic Abuse.

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Am I an abuser or am I being abused

Postby Aiodbne » Tue Oct 23, 2018 11:07 am

Trigger warning domestic violence I guess

Im an adult first of all. In my early 20s. I lived out of home for a while but atm im living there for financial reasons but lately my dads been getting really abusive again and he’s telling me that it’s me and I don’t know why I can’t leave I feel like such an idiot because I already hurt so much but I think he brainwashes me

My father constantly puts me down, yells at me, throws completely out of the blue comments at me that catch me completely off guard and he knows exactly what to say to hurt me. A few weeks ago I was lying on the floor and he ran up and started kicking me and yelling curse words at me. He never said sorry because I ‘deserved it’. He completely denied it even happening at first. He constantly pushes past me, comes up behind my shoulder and just stands behind me. When I have people over he will stand at the window and stare at us. He manipulates me and can make me feel whatever he wants me to. And it’s dangerous. He can hit me one night then the next day he’s smiling and happy and expects me to be the same. He yells at me for things like using the hairdryer, talking too much, nor cooking him dinner, yeah. It’s ridiculous. He tells me that I am the one abusing him. But HE MAKES ME BELIEVE IT. I feel like I am going insane. I’m having panic attacks all the time lately.
Aiodbne
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