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Fighting and he hit me

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Fighting and he hit me

Postby katiem » Tue Nov 21, 2017 2:01 am

Last night me and my boyfriend got into a not serious argument. He was eating and then he passed me the dirty dish to deal with which I was really sick of always having this happen, as I don't really want to clean up after him all the time and I've said this multiple times. I ended up hitting him on the foot with the dish (we were sitting on a couch) and saying that I didn't want to deal with it. Things escalated and he punched me really hard on the arm. I was really shocked. I ended up crying in the bathroom and telling him to get out or I would call my parents to come deal with it. I just have no idea what to do now. I don't know if it's my fault and I just got what I deserved for starting things, or if I should leave him. The punch was way harder than the dish. I haven't spoken with him really since. He tried to contact me to say I shouldn't have acted in X way, and eventually he sent me a text just saying "I'm sorry", but I've blocked him on everything now. What do I do?
Last edited by mark1958 on Tue Nov 21, 2017 4:50 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Fighting and he hit me

Postby Terry E. » Wed Nov 22, 2017 6:11 am

Not your fault. The punch was way out of proportion to any proper response.

Do you really want to have to ask him all the time to clean up after himself. (and remember this is the good period pre no sleep deprived childbirth, money issues mortgages. )

Also if he tried to blame you for it, also another flag.

Have a good think about this.
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Re: Fighting and he hit me

Postby quietgirl2538 » Wed Nov 22, 2017 12:57 pm

Getting punched in the arm is not ok. I know you did hit him with the dish, but you need to also explain to him that his behavior of him giving you his dish is not right and discuss this.

Then tell him, that hitting you on the arm like that is way out of proportion and why would you put up with this from anyone. Including him. So just try communication somehow. I don't know all the details of your relationship other than what you shared but that would be where I would start. Getting your point across.
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Re: Fighting and he hit me

Postby rainbow_sprinkles » Wed Nov 22, 2017 6:19 pm

you hit him with a dish, and he hit you with his fist. neither of those actions are reasonable reactions to whatever either of you was feeling in the moment. no matter how you frame it or which one of you you put more blame on, that's a highly dysfunctional and toxic dynamic and will likely only get worse over time. it's probably best to end this relationship before things get really bad.

you would probably also benefit purely for yourself from examining your own behaviour in this situation so that you don't go into your next relationship engaging in the same behaviours of responding to behavioural patterns that irritate you (being asked to clean up) by hitting your partner with an object. that's simply not healthy, kind, or loving. there are more constructive ways to address conflict in a relationship.
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