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Abusive relationship at a new low level

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Abusive relationship at a new low level

Postby Steph72 » Fri Oct 20, 2017 6:36 am

My boyfriend and I have been together for 6 yrs. We have been engaged then broken up. I have broken up with him a second time due to his emotional/verbal abuse turned violent. Fast forward a month or two. He gets help on his own with counseling and I, myself had already done the same. I slowly let him back into my life and my house. That happened a year ago. While things had not gone back to as bad as they were, I started getting some familiar feelings in a bad way. Before I could processs these feelings, his ex girlfriend dies of a heroin overdose, leaving his youngest daughter with a step-dad. My boyfriend has 2 other children from a previous marriage and have a good relationship with them.
So here we paying lawyers to get custody from a stepfather ( which we will get), but going slowly for his daughter. She has spent a couple of weekends with us and is she seems so happy. I don’t have any children myself, but always wanted them, so I’m living this. BUT! Here’s where the other shoe drops.... my abusive boyfriend has gone right back to his emotionally abusive ways. I cannot and will not deal with that. But what about this poor child who has been through so much already? This is the worst case scenario! Any suggestions out there?
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Re: Abusive relationship at a new low level

Postby Terry E. » Fri Oct 20, 2017 9:47 am

I am guessing that the step father is also involved in the drug culture.
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Re: Abusive relationship at a new low level

Postby avatar123 » Fri Oct 20, 2017 1:32 pm

Sounds like stress may be a trigger for your boyfriend's behavior. Possibly for your tolerance of it as well. Certainly the situation with the daughter is very stressful for all.

Since you have both been through this pattern before, maybe you could talk to him and point out what's happening. That you support him and the daughter and what he's trying to accomplish, but you don't want to go back to how things were before. You don't want either of you to take the stress out on each other. You can merge the daughter with your family while making it stronger and a better place for her, by being considerate and loving toward each other, even while stressed.

If he learned anything in counseling, he should be responsive to this. Worth a try anyway, you have nothing to lose at this point.
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