Toddler alter, need advice

I'm an alter, My name Branden. On and off for a few year's I have been telling the host wife that sometimes I don't feel like me. Then I start to have either a seizure or a weird shattering feeling and vomiting. Recently the host had written in the journal about an experience with a mess up. I been telling the Host wife that I thought I thought someone young like super young might be around. Well last night while her and I having game night and drinking, I began to have these weird feelings and seizures and I remember asking for help and then nothing. She said a toddler then fronted.... A lot of recent events I believe could have been triggers for their fronting. I told her I would post her questions so we both could get a better understanding.

Hi everyone! Need advice: I'm married to someone with DID. Last night, we had a 3 year old come forward. He has not been to the outer world in a long time or been in the inner world that the others know. He didn't know the other alters, and they did not know him besides having a feeling that there was another that was younger. I've helped the other Littles (9 and 13), but one being so young is new. He's non-verbal autistic and knows sign language. I'm unsure how much sign language he knows. He is still potty-training, scared, sad, and confused. He also hates loud sounds. Any advice on how to support him? Can the outer world look like a different place to different alters? It seems he may be in two realities at once.

Hello!

I'm here purely as a moderator- I have no advice on this. I just wanted to interject without derailing the thread, that we appreciate you posting the questions for the Host's wife: while technically there isn't a specific rule regarding significant others or family members also joining PF, we do strongly discourage it, as often such arrangements have gotten complicated, and that is putting it mildly. Just wanted to thank you for doing it this way, it's really the best way to approach things when it's known by family that someone is a member here on PF.

She doesn't know what forum I was on. I didn't want her to know. But I am also curious as well from my point of view and definitely kinda wondering the same thing she is. Thank you for not deleting the post.

Oh no we wouldn't have disapproved it!

There have been Nons who are significant others of DID post in here, with mixed results. And while there are a few instances of people sharing a household to both be in PF, generally, the chances for drama skyrocket. Thus we don't encourage it.

FunBranden18 wrote: He's non-verbal autistic and knows sign language. I'm unsure how much sign language he knows. He is still potty-training, scared, sad, and confused. He also hates loud sounds. Any advice on how to support him? Can the outer world look like a different place to different alters? It seems he may be in two realities at once.

Hi

We have had a non verbal autistic child in the system. I’m guessing the host’s wife doesn't know sign language if this is first time they met? Would she be willing to learn?

In the meantime given the alters very young age …maybe some kind of pictures as a communication aid ...basic feelings …’sad, scared’ or pics of food, drink or toilet, a toy or teddy’ … maybe one that means ‘what’s happening? or 'I’m confused’ he can point to.

You can google ‘communication board for non verbal 3yr old’ and look at images for ideas

or... If you have a tablet device or smartphone already you can download a free basic communication app onto it for when he appeared so he could press on an image or point to one. he may find a short video clip of a cartoon calming if he has a favourite?

Do you have a stuffy toy you could keep incase he comes out again that your hosts wife could give him? ..or some kind of calming stimming toy/gadget?

She knows some sign Language. Stuffies are available, as the 9 year old collects them.

We have a toddler age little. Ours is very food motivated which has helped. The way we have dealt with it is finding story books from the appropriate era that our partner can read to her, a toy box just of her things, a blankie that can be quickly put on if we happen to be in states of undress. We have established a wait command, if she waits 5 minuets she can get a cookie. took a while and you have to start small like "wait 5 seconds while I get a cookie " this is a good one to teach them because it meens if you are doing something vital that can't be interrupted and your partner spots a switch they can ask the toddler to wait and once it is safe the toddler gets their front time. THIS IS A LONG TERM Project it took us 5 years to get to this stage do not expect the toddler to understand sharing front time. You have to establish while they are out that partner always gives them the promised treet (cookie after siting still) only when you have that bond of trust can you start using the wait request to delay switches.

As others have said communication pictures and learning sign language.
Can't help with potty training but you can get absorbant underwear designed for periods that can handle mid sized leeks if you are worried about soiling your self I'd advise that you wear something like that. And get into the habit of carrying a change bag.

Good luck.

well ya gotta get some stickers first off.

stickers is good. activity book with stickers is better.

gotta have own stuffie. it's not the same as sharing the 9 year old.

dear little ones book by jade Miller

yummy drinks and snacks

sensory toys

coloring book

picture Faves

story of my life book

stickers is good. snacks is good. remembering safe is good. blankies is good.

favorite movie is good. cartoons sometimes good.

diapers isn't bad really. is like pull ups and then not so big worried about accidents.

is just babysitting like any other scared confused toddler.

blankies, snacks, stickers, safe, activity/distraction

good luck. also if anybody on the inside can volunteer to be a buddy. that would help!