The Road Goes Ever, Ever On (Theta's Journey)

Good luck on the physical life organization! It does not feels like "part of therapy" intuitively but it is. When your physical environment is neat and organized and adapted to your needs, it leaves a lot more space to work on healing trauma inside.

I am happy for you that your friends are so supportive!

Thank you. My friends have been such a highlight of all of this. They've helped with so much and are so understanding.

Vi

ViTheta wrote: We're going to put up a 'chores board' so that we all can work on chores and keep things moving. We're still considering rearranging our living space so that we can have a better set up than we currently do.

Thats a great idea! we could do with one of those!..Going to look on ebay for a big whiteboard to do one for us!

Oh wow...it's been a bit.

So...the first big thing was realizing how much I lose every time one of the others fronts. I may be aware of things going on, but I don't remember them. This past weekend, I was pretty much 'inside' and Lilith and Leila were out at different times. I went looking for something and was tearing apart everything trying to find it only to finally get told it was in a particular place and wasn't needed right now (It is pain medication).

I know that Lilith had a meltdown recently due to feeling helpless in a particular game. She struggles with some things and gets frustrated by them, but beyond that, I don't know the details. My friends helped piece together what happened.

Pippa's been quiet lately. I haven't really heard from her since she had her own meltdown just before therapy a couple weeks ago.

Things have been difficult lately on those fronts. Beyond that, little has changed.

Take care,
Vi

I lose time when some come out. Sometimes I have a vague idea what they did but no details unless stayed co-con and did something together.

Yuna & Juno are coming to do more meditation sessions with me & Kathy to teach us how to co-front like they do. I think it will make me feel more supported if I can feel Kathy more and we can actively share control simultaneously like Yuna & Juno do.

Hope you feel better soon

Jay

Thank you.

Some of this is just deep feelings of being alone and not understanding why people like us. Some of it is realizing how hard everything is and wanting to give up. Sometimes, it just is a lot.

Today was the first time that Gia talked to our T. It went well. Things have been a bit rough for her lately, but between coloring and talking, she's much better.

By and large, life isn't that different day to day. Just glad she's better.

Vi

Yesterday may have been the weirdest day that we've had in over a year.

Our friends have taken to using FaceBook to video chat because one of our friends has trouble getting into voice chat on Xbox. Also, one of our friends is taking care of a child (HI) who has already shown signs of DID and those signs are easily read from vocal changes to physical changes.

Yesterday, one of their alters came out. This is a maladaptive alter who has been making trouble lately. This brought out Bonnie. Our friends actually saw two people with DID switch, and I saw HI switch. It was...strange to say the least. I saw the changes to my manner too when I was aware of Bonnie leaving. I'm used to us switching, but this is different. I've never seen it happen. It's like...how can people not see it happen? Then I realized why. Bonnie is one of our more intense and different personalities who hasn't come out very often. Instead, she comes out under extreme duress or when she's worried about those who can't defend themselves. Most of us have practiced hiding our switches, but Bonnie hasn't.

It was obvious that HI's alter wasn't used to being out much and got tired very quickly. We all (the friend group) talked to them and found out why they were acting out and we'll be here to help with a lot of it.

But it was surreal to realize that the physical differences are there.

Beyond that, we bought a bunch of coloring books for the Littles and we're doing what we can for everyone. Right now, we're doing alright overall.

Vi

Hi,

Okay, this is Aurora. I've kind of been hanging around for a while but only just came out. I don't have much else to say.

I guess I could add some more.

Vi's having a rough time. I'm not sure why. I'm doing what I can from the routine as well. But not having an easy time. I'm not sure what else to say. I'm mostly struggling because it's a little hard to walk and move. I'm still a bit confused about what's going on too. Like, I know I had to write out something for our brother-in-law's birthday card, but not what to sign.

-Aurora.