Our partner

A New Start (the way forwards)

Dissociative Identity Disorder message board, open discussion, and online support group.

Moderators: Snaga, NewSunRising, lilyfairy

Re: A New Start (the way forwards)

Postby TheTriForce » Thu Nov 17, 2022 2:26 pm

that should say 'such as' not suck as...lol! ..sorry! ..hit the wrong word prediction! ..and only just noticed! :oops:
Body - F 50+ yrs disabled/autistic/DID Host: Jay
User avatar
TheTriForce
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 526
Joined: Mon Sep 06, 2021 7:44 am
Local time: Fri Dec 02, 2022 6:10 am
Blog: View Blog (0)


ADVERTISEMENT

Re: A New Start (the way forwards)

Postby TheTriForce » Sat Nov 19, 2022 8:53 am

Just when you think life is giving you a break something else (potentially) pulls the rug from under you! :(

I had messaged bro last night to see how his business is going (in light of small businesses struggling with all the hikes in prices/taxes etc) he was away in his camper with a new girlfriend! His mentioning her name triggered a rather jealous Yuna because her name is very similar to Yuna's original birth name so there's a chance she would also use a similar shortened version to Yuna's (original birth name that she see's as 'her name')...so the Tinnitus was horrendous last night with Yuna out near the front raging all night.

Yuna and Juno are usually the one's who go to visit to bro's house as Juno also see's him as 'her son from a past life'. Yuna has told the littles they won't be able to come out xmas day there cos there will be a complete stranger in the house so there not gonna get to see the Sonic movie or be there to open the presents cos it will be 'too risky' with complete stranger there (even though we don't even know for sure whether she would be there considering they've only just met...she may have her own family commitments for xmas day). ..so now the little's are upset and Yuna refuses to go if someone else is going to be there getting called by 'her name' (though we don't know for sure what name she uses) while she has to accept 'another name'.

Of course Juno still wants to go because she hasn't seen him or had a hug from him since our birthday in summer and had kind of got used to and enjoyed seeing him regularly through the pandemic.

Yuna suggested I (Jay) will go as 'auto pilot' while Kit got mad with her for suggesting I was nothing more than an 'auto pilot mode' to be used at her (Yuna's) convenience.

I can't believe the chaos one sentence in a text message could cause! :shock: ...especially giving there's no confirmation.... she may not even be there! ...she may have other commitments or maybe very nice if she is there, he's usually happier and less grumpy when in a relationship but I guess Yuna may also be annoyed at the fact that it was going to be 'nothing special' when its just us but if there's a girl to be impressed it will suddenly become more special...like we alone aren't enough to make his xmas special...yet who is the one ..always here once they haven't worked out!

so I'm trying to get the bedding done and tidy up, we need to arrange a vaccine for next week and still waiting for housing to get back to us about the kitchen ceiling so worktops need to be cleared in case they decide its convenient for them to turn up next week! Kit's in a mood, LS was in tears cos Yuna told her she won't get to come out xmas day cos this new gf has ruined our whole xmas ...how quickly things can change :shock: ..wish I'd never bothered sending the text now!...thought he was home alone after work and maybe worrying how he'd keep the business afloat ...as he hadn't told us he was going away! or had a new gf!

They've all gone inside to argue now it seems and left me to hold the fort and do the housework!
Body - F 50+ yrs disabled/autistic/DID Host: Jay
User avatar
TheTriForce
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 526
Joined: Mon Sep 06, 2021 7:44 am
Local time: Fri Dec 02, 2022 6:10 am
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: A New Start (the way forwards)

Postby ViTheta » Sat Nov 19, 2022 11:39 am

I hope things get sorted out soon. Perhaps he can give you more details about the new gf soon.

Holidays are already stressful, but having this suddenly come up can't be nice.

Take care,
Vi
Autistic, DID, trans feminine.
System of twenty. Umbrella/System name Theta
Host: Violette. Alters active on forum: Pippa, Beth, Angel
Introductory thread https://www.psychforums.com/dissociative-identity/topic221125.html
Journey thread https://www.psychforums.com/dissociative-identity/topic221263.html
ViTheta
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 378
Joined: Tue Jul 19, 2022 6:29 pm
Local time: Fri Dec 02, 2022 1:10 am
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: A New Start (the way forwards)

Postby TheTriForce » Sun Nov 20, 2022 11:16 am

Yeah its the not knowing and the awkwardness with a stranger especially like if we're taking the brother gifts and he has ours and we don't know this person...do we buy them something? we're not buying a 'couples' xmas card because we've already got him a brother one as we wanted to get all our xmas stuff and winter preps stuff in before the postal madness and further price increases.

So we're a bit skint right now and next food delivery isn't until a few days before xmas day now to last until end of January.

They've stopped arguing anyway, everyone is quiet inside, maybe they're all having a lie in! I just have LS out here with me

I don't mind working with Juno to cover xmas day if Yuna refuses to go if this gf is there. we've told LS she can open her game xmas eve so she has all day to play on it. Bobby knows bro has the Sonic game at his house so they won't get to play that until Boxing Day anyway as we're always exhausted by the time we get home and go straight to bed.

Xmas Day is busy here as we go out and have doggy to take out for a good long run and feed first then go get ready to go out for most of the day. Most of us actually prefer the days after! ..once its peaceful again and we can relax cos it's over for another year!
Body - F 50+ yrs disabled/autistic/DID Host: Jay
User avatar
TheTriForce
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 526
Joined: Mon Sep 06, 2021 7:44 am
Local time: Fri Dec 02, 2022 6:10 am
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: A New Start (the way forwards)

Postby ViTheta » Sun Nov 20, 2022 1:00 pm

I hope things get sorted out. We started doing Christmas over Thanksgiving because that way we would always be with Sister.

Take care,
Vi
Autistic, DID, trans feminine.
System of twenty. Umbrella/System name Theta
Host: Violette. Alters active on forum: Pippa, Beth, Angel
Introductory thread https://www.psychforums.com/dissociative-identity/topic221125.html
Journey thread https://www.psychforums.com/dissociative-identity/topic221263.html
ViTheta
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 378
Joined: Tue Jul 19, 2022 6:29 pm
Local time: Fri Dec 02, 2022 1:10 am
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: A New Start (the way forwards)

Postby TheTriForce » Sun Nov 20, 2022 9:29 pm

Thanks.....Kit is back up front...she says Yuna's issue is about regret that she feels she allowed Thea to take over so completely to the extent of changing the birth name legally and feels she missed years of brothers life. so much so that he calls us by 'Thea's name' but described us (personality wise) to his last g/f by Kit's traits! Yet Yuna presents nothing like Kit when she has gone to deal with social events.

He doesn't know about DID and 'insiders' but its possible he see's it as different moods or part of the autism that we act very differently in different situations (much more marked differences than a NT person) depending on who and how many others are there and what the situation is.

sometimes like when a neighbour says hi..we wonder who they see! ...how they would describe us to someone else? ..would they still be describing 'Maddie' who was the host when we first moved here?
Body - F 50+ yrs disabled/autistic/DID Host: Jay
User avatar
TheTriForce
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 526
Joined: Mon Sep 06, 2021 7:44 am
Local time: Fri Dec 02, 2022 6:10 am
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: A New Start (the way forwards)

Postby TheTriForce » Tue Nov 22, 2022 9:40 am

well Kit and I have a plan to try and move us forward ability-wise.....video games obviously really work for our system on several levels but we've decided to justify the money in this climate any from now (not inc ones already purchased for xmas) must be doing something to improve a physical skill or need...such as good for circulation & balance (wii/switch sports type games) improving reaction times/hand-eye co-ordination or spatial awareness ..not just maintaining current levels but taking them to the next level.

It will hopefully help towards prevention of future fall incidents which are potentially far too risky given the state of our health services currently. If we feel more confident that we won't fall easily it will improve confidence to go out more and maybe further afield for next summer if things are better here (not too ridiculously expensive to get anywhere or do anything due to this recession!).

This winter we are going to attempt to move from electric pedals that help you pedal to manual one's that will still work in the power cuts it apparently targets a different part of the brain if you manually pedal than put your feet on powered pedals that move your legs for you and builds muscle better. Kit and I will be working together blended on these physical goals.

We will still be taking separate 'time out' to go for a break individually, but we get on well and work well together when there's a specific goal to aim for rather than 'aimlessly trudging through the day'.

Next level here we come! :D

Jay
Body - F 50+ yrs disabled/autistic/DID Host: Jay
User avatar
TheTriForce
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 526
Joined: Mon Sep 06, 2021 7:44 am
Local time: Fri Dec 02, 2022 6:10 am
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: A New Start (the way forwards)

Postby ArbreMonde » Wed Nov 23, 2022 11:01 am

Sending moral support for the difficult things of these last few days and congratulations on the way you organize your life all together!
Autistic | ADHD | DID (host: Morwan) | transmasc (they/them & he/him)

Journey thread | DID ressources thread

This too shall pass. It shall pass like a kidney stone, but it shall pass.
__
What is great about broken things is: they can be repaired.
User avatar
ArbreMonde
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 1627
Joined: Fri Sep 06, 2019 2:28 pm
Local time: Fri Dec 02, 2022 7:10 am
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: A New Start (the way forwards)

Postby ViTheta » Wed Nov 23, 2022 12:45 pm

I hope things go well Jay.

Recovery is never easy and always a slog, but I know you can manage it. Good luck and I hope things get better!

Pippa.
Autistic, DID, trans feminine.
System of twenty. Umbrella/System name Theta
Host: Violette. Alters active on forum: Pippa, Beth, Angel
Introductory thread https://www.psychforums.com/dissociative-identity/topic221125.html
Journey thread https://www.psychforums.com/dissociative-identity/topic221263.html
ViTheta
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 378
Joined: Tue Jul 19, 2022 6:29 pm
Local time: Fri Dec 02, 2022 1:10 am
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: A New Start (the way forwards)

Postby TheTriForce » Wed Nov 23, 2022 12:46 pm

Thanks...just seems to be one thing after another lately!!! The underlying theme always seems to be any threat of change including dealing with unknown people or situations is always the thing that sends system members into a panic.

The other day our step mother text us to tell she had had a small stroke but weeks ago now. Today a man came to the door I didn't recognise. He gave me his name but I'm none the wiser! We can't find a matching face in the data bank from Maddie's fronting time, but anyway it was to tell us the neighbour that was taken into hospital a few weeks back (when seeing the ambulance outside had triggered some) had died in hospital this morning...she had gone in with pneumonia and caught covid whilst in there! :shock: :(

We weren't particularly close I think the issue is more over who will move in there next.. our fences are open slatted......are they going to have a big dog that's going to be a problem every time we open our front door to go out with ours? ..potentially making our agoraphobia even worse etc. I don't think they think this way just out of selfishness....many are driven by fear...and all their thoughts are connected to a fear of change or unknown persons and how they can make our live difficult and what they can potentially 'do to us'. ...even when there is no evidence that a new person/situation would be any threat to us at all...it triggers 'hypervigilent mode'

I asked Kit how did they deal with this when Thea and Maddie were out and about in life dealing with people everyday and she said it was because they had no connection to the 'insiders' to detect the panic or be influenced by it so they could still go out and function in the world.

Now there is no host that does not know about the system and it is all previous 'insiders' (some of who are trauma holders) taking turns to host it is making us outwardly very agoraphobic as they have all spent most of their lives on the inside and only coming out when no other people are around...so every potential change is seen 'as a threat to the system!'

So I'm not sure how to deal with this issue? ... I was never the main host before making any life decisions and like Thea back then I couldn't feel the anxiety of the insiders when I was triggered out to take over for while. I'm feeling rather 'overwhelmed' with their fears currently. :shock:

I'm sure it will be at least a few weeks before anyone moved in as there will be a funeral first and Housing will have to find her family to come and remove everything from the house before they can put anyone else in...we think it was a part-own, so someone would have to be interested to buy it first...given the current situation with mortgages and interest rates it could be empty a while! ..we can only pray for a nice understanding elderly neighbour (you have to be over 55 to qualify for it) preferably without their own dog! ..or a small sweet old one! (our dog has been attacked in the past by a dog his own size but not bothered by little ones). He can be quite reactive though which doesn't help our anxiety about going out with him! ..though we realise he's probably picking upon our anxiety as unless we can guarantee a clear run off the estate (cos its like 5am in the morning!) we're always a little 'on edge' over who will be about.

We wouldn't have left the house since the onset of the pandemic if we hadn't got Mr Woof to walk. I think he maybe our last dog if its going to be such an 'emotional battle' to leave the house during the day after another new neighbour moves in. :x Life seems so much harder (in some respects) than I remember it being when I last fronted!

Jay
Body - F 50+ yrs disabled/autistic/DID Host: Jay
User avatar
TheTriForce
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 526
Joined: Mon Sep 06, 2021 7:44 am
Local time: Fri Dec 02, 2022 6:10 am
Blog: View Blog (0)

PreviousNext

Return to Dissociative Identity Disorder Forum




  • Related articles
    Replies
    Views
    Last post

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: Google [Bot], ViTheta and 31 guests