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Do I have DID?

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Do I have DID?

Postby JennaMon123 » Tue Jan 18, 2022 8:51 am

Hi Guys,

I need some help!

I have always known since I was a little girl that I was not alone in my head. I was sexually abused when I was 4 and bullied when I was 11, because of this I created someone to talk too. This person has never left, the name I know for her is Jessica. However, she never seems to front me. We never switch but she is always there in my mind, offering advice guidance and sometimes a laugh.... Is this DID? Or am I just imagining someone??

Mum thought it was psychosis but its not an external voice, she is internal.

When I talk about her, I naturally say her, she and if someone asks why I am smirking, I automatically say 'they are making me laugh'. I say they because theres like two other voices but they are very quiet. Jessica is the loudest for sure.

I also have epilepsy. sometimes after a seizure, i remember everything. But there has been times where i remember nothing at all for 48 hours, and people describe me as acting like a child after a seizure but the times i remember, I am not childish.... Is this a potential little? One that only fronts when I am really vulnerable like that after a seizure?

There has been times where I have lost time also, or done something that I have no idea why i did it. Ive also had times where im like sat on the sofa and the remote ends up on the other side of the room and i have no idea how it got there - just an example. could that be one of them fronting without me realising?

Lastly, De Ja vu is very common for me.... as well as flash backs and some flash backs I do not remember at all but it is definitely a flash back.

Please help!
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Re: Do I have DID?

Postby Purplesky » Tue Jan 18, 2022 7:44 pm

Seeing a professional who is knowledgeable on dissociative disorders and trauma might be a good idea to help you sort it out. You could have OSDD where you have others but they do not take control of the body.

It would be difficult to say what is part of dissociation and what is part of epilepsy with some of the memory issues and behavior changes you describe since seizures can cause that as well, so seeing a professional would be all I can suggest if you are wanting a diagnosis and direction in what to do.
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Re: Do I have DID?

Postby JennaMon123 » Wed Jan 19, 2022 8:49 am

Thank you for replying!

I did a screening test yesterday with a specialist dissociation centre, hopefully I can get some answers soon.

I completely agree that it is hard with my Epilepsy to determine what is what. However I do know that Epilepsy affects my short term memory and not my long term memory. I have massive gaps in my past that I know happened but I cant remember at all...

All very frustrating! Either way, I am happy to know that I am not crazy and that I have had someone with me all this time <3
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Re: Do I have DID?

Postby ArbreMonde » Wed Jan 19, 2022 1:54 pm

You are not crazy. But like Purplesky said, only a trained specialist can unravel everything. There is some trauma issue here, clearly. But the epilepsy also has a lot to play in this regard since different types of epilepsy can give different results with or without seizures. Some of them are quite odd.

There are other dissociative disorders (other intensities of dissociation) appart from DID, with similar symptoms but less intense. There is also "maladaptive daydreaming" which can be a way of dissociating and imagining other people talk with you - it can coexist with any level of dissociation / dissociative disorder including DID.

All in all, you are right to ask for help. Now, understanding the kind of help you need is a horse of a different color altogether.
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System host/umbrella identity: Morwan

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This too shall pass. It shall pass like a kidney stone, but it shall pass.
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