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Dissociative Fugue or switching alters?

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Dissociative Fugue or switching alters?

Postby KitMcDaydream » Mon Aug 09, 2021 8:14 am

I'm not sure why but several times in my life I have completely changed my identity.

At some point I'd remember or feel that was 'no longer me' but had felt compelled to continue with the charade until I was able to leave the situation eg leave college, move to another job or area. Of course before the days of the internet and social media it was easy to cut all contact with people and to never see me or know where I had gone.

And of course it was even easier when I was fully mobile when being able to 'disappear' wouldn't cause concern as I was not perceived to be someone who was considered disabled/vulnerable or needed to be 'kept an eye on' or expected to have a certain disability because that's what 'the identity' the neighbours, health visitors or whoever had originally met and got to know & believed at the time. Simply disappearing in RL or completely changing so dramatically after being 'someone else' to others for years would attract more attention than I''d feel able to cope with but still occasionally there are bouts of intensity of the need to escape and feeling trapped.

I feel another change has happened again and it was only brought to my attention due to someone in another group being convinced 'they knew me from somewhere'. because they had seen my profile picture (it was a FB group but under another name to what they had known me as and I also introduced myself using a different name again to the name of the account - which was my dogs account).

I have no desire to explain DID to a complete stranger I have no memory of meeting in a past identity, I will probably simply leave if they become too persistent and confrontional, but feel the issue will persist as more sites demand real names, proof of them or proof of registered emails connected to real accounts or abilities to see the IP address/device is identical to a past user etc.

What was once a save haven, an escape and way 'I' could feel more connected to others whilst safely hidden by an 'online persona' now seems to be under threat as they crackdown on what they see as 'internet fraud'.

Will there still be safe places where those with DID can speak as a different individual without the whole of their real world knowing their private medical information or accusing them of something that particular alter never did or had no memory of?

It gets so you don't know 'who to be' or 'who you're supposed to be' in others eyes and of course these days people are quick to report people, gossip and happily spread stories regardless of whether they have the actual facts or not!

Feel free to comment if you feel you've experienced this identity confusion or feeling of dissociative fugue.

I won't sign off as I really feel I don't have a clue who I am today, I guess I am .....whoever you are expecting wrote this???
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Re: Dissociative Fugue or switching alters?

Postby birdsong87 » Mon Aug 09, 2021 9:49 am

literature points out that real dissociative fugue is so rare it is news-worthy when it happens. the vast majority of times it is a symptom of a major dissociative disorder. But it would be worth looking at the criteria of fugue because just feeling like you have changed and intentionally leaving your old life behind is not fugue. it is just what people do when they develop and move on.
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Re: Dissociative Fugue or switching alters?

Postby KitMcDaydream » Mon Aug 09, 2021 11:54 am

birdsong87 wrote:literature points out that real dissociative fugue is so rare it is news-worthy when it happens. the vast majority of times it is a symptom of a major dissociative disorder. But it would be worth looking at the criteria of fugue because just feeling like you have changed and intentionally leaving your old life behind is not fugue. it is just what people do when they develop and move on.


I was thinking more of the memory loss that happens then sometimes eventually comes back usually triggered by something or someone else before I realise someone else knows me as 'someone else' of course that could just come from being multiple. For most of my life I have had no knowledge of what DID was or that I could even possibly have it. Only the last few 5 yrs or so have different alters known about each other on a conscious level and amnesia between switches reduced (unless a new one appears that no-one else knew about)

I have read about it (DF) and it often mentions going on a trip which I can no longer do independently, but the rest still applies.

Is it more likely then that there's another one in there who hasn't yet revealed themselves? I thought I'd accounted for everyone! :shock:

How long does it take on average from discovering you are DID for everyone in the system to 'come out' to reach the point that you know everybody and exactly how many 'others' you have?
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Re: Dissociative Fugue or switching alters?

Postby birdsong87 » Mon Aug 09, 2021 2:57 pm

Dissociative Fugue as a disorder is only diagnosed when there are no other dissociative symptoms, which is rare. fugue as a symptom is common in dissociative disorders because of switching alters.
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Re: Dissociative Fugue or switching alters?

Postby ArbreMonde » Tue Aug 10, 2021 11:18 am

I agree with birdsong.

What you describe as a DID person sounds more to me like switching host, or simply, the "everyday" lack of consistency caused by dissociative symptoms.

Dissociative fugues, from what I know, are called "fugues" because the person physically runs away from home, following a specific traumatic event they are unable to cope with.

From what I understand of what triggers it, think about, autistic meltdown squared.
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I can totally relate to the whole "fork this shirt I'm out" behavior when stuff get tough. (*cough* maladaptive protection *cough*) (yes it is a self call-out) However, doing it within the DID context is very different from a dissociative fugue that comes out of nowhere.

We met one (1) person who might have had a dissociative fugue: she disappeared into another country and lived homeless here for a week following a specific traumatic event, before suddently "waking up" and coming back home with her tail between her legs, completely baffled about what had happened to her. Never had any dissociative occurence before or after, to my knowledge (but granted we only chatted for a bit less than an hour).

You can see it's a tid bit different from the more "classically dissociative" "fork this shirt I'm switching Facebook account".
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Re: Dissociative Fugue or switching alters?

Postby spinningtops » Tue Aug 10, 2021 1:21 pm

hi. so i am maybe following what you're saying and maybe i am confused.. but something i would do sometimes, though it hasn't exactly happened recently, was every few years it seemed i would go through a complete identity change. like not slowly, like complete different from one day to the next and it sounded like maybe what ArbreMonde was saying, as some kind of defensive strategy possibly.
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Re: Dissociative Fugue or switching alters?

Postby KitMcDaydream » Wed Aug 11, 2021 7:45 am

ArbreMonde wrote:I agree with birdsong.

What you describe as a DID person sounds more to me like switching host, or simply, the "everyday" lack of consistency caused by dissociative symptoms.

Dissociative fugues, from what I know, are called "fugues" because the person physically runs away from home, following a specific traumatic event they are unable to cope with.

From what I understand of what triggers it, think about, autistic meltdown squared.
__
David.

I can totally relate to the whole "fork this shirt I'm out" behavior when stuff get tough. (*cough* maladaptive protection *cough*) (yes it is a self call-out) However, doing it within the DID context is very different from a dissociative fugue that comes out of nowhere.

We met one (1) person who might have had a dissociative fugue: she disappeared into another country and lived homeless here for a week following a specific traumatic event, before suddently "waking up" and coming back home with her tail between her legs, completely baffled about what had happened to her. Never had any dissociative occurence before or after, to my knowledge (but granted we only chatted for a bit less than an hour).

You can see it's a tid bit different from the more "classically dissociative" "fork this shirt I'm switching Facebook account".
__
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yes I get that that they physically 'run away' but what if you are physically unable to just disappear in that sense anymore? would it just not be classed as that if you found yourself living as someone else without realising it until you meet someone that knew you 'as someone else' in the past?


Like for example ... if you'd had a stroke at home, or being in some kind of accident, or just found wandering around your home confused and then woke up to find yourself in hospital then following that continued your life as a new identity, then someone came along who knew you as someone else and you have no memory of what they're talking about or who they are? ..would that because you'd experienced a fugue or just because the trauma of the stroke/accident had caused a new alter to front whose job was maybe to concentrate entirely on the 'here and now'. Maybe you'd been given enough memory to be able to recognise family but forgotten you'd joined a SM site under another name, because it wasn't 'you' who did that?..or lost memory that you had DID in the first place?
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Re: Dissociative Fugue or switching alters?

Postby KitMcDaydream » Wed Aug 11, 2021 7:55 am

spinningtops wrote:hi. so i am maybe following what you're saying and maybe i am confused.. but something i would do sometimes, though it hasn't exactly happened recently, was every few years it seemed i would go through a complete identity change. like not slowly, like complete different from one day to the next and it sounded like maybe what ArbreMonde was saying, as some kind of defensive strategy possibly.



hi .. the only experience we're going through now is the menopause transition. I had read articles where they (medical professionals) claim it changes physical structures within the brain. I can't remember where I saw it but saw something like a brain scan that a person had before they started peri-menopause then same person scanned after they had gone through menopause and it looked like a different person's brain. Even stuff like the same areas weren't lighting up in response to the same pictures (they were shown in an MRI machine).

So I guess it could create a complete change in someone? ..or maybe for them to keep switching more often??? especially if they were already DID???..whereas maybe they were more 'stable' before the peri started and the personality differences between them weren't so ..erm... extreme??
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