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Kitty lover’s healing journey

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Re: Kitty lover’s healing journey

Postby kittylover » Fri Nov 26, 2021 3:46 am

Trigger warning : discussion of religion

I’ve spent all day pretending my dad doesn’t exist but hannukah is coming and it’s a bittersweet reminder -if he doesn’t exist then I don’t have my Jew card (you know the one we use to activate the Jewish space lasers :p or at least half of one ) anymore .  When I was in kindergarten and first grade my parents sent me to a Christian school because they had very small classes and thought that would be better for me . They started talking to me about different religions , probably to counter what they were teaching me and the minute I found out I was half Jewish I clung to that . I clung to it even when I kept it a secret in middle school when kids were making fun of the other Jewish kids. My parents never had the heart to tell me that at least to Orthodox Jews you can only get a Jew card from your mother until my sister was going on a birthright trip to Israel  .  But the same blood that makes me half Jewish makes me half child rapist ….. so I don’t know how to feel anymore
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Re: Kitty lover’s healing journey

Postby ArbreMonde » Fri Nov 26, 2021 7:34 am

I understand where you stand. It is difficult to accept that the same parent who taught you nice and useful things, or gave you an important heirlom, is also a criminal towards you.

It took us a lot of time to accept that we keep "nice" things (ideas, skills, knowledges...) from people who were awful towards us. The good things do not redeem the bad ones. The bad things do not erase the good ones. Keeping the good ones while refusing the bad ones takes a lot of self-compassion, acceptance, and integration/trauma work.

Take your time. It is normal to have trouble sorting things out. The situation is complicated. I hope you can find a religious Jewish person (or even a Rabbi) (I hope I get the name right) to help you sort things out.
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The Mirror & David.
Key: ♂ he/him | ♀ she/her | ɸ they/them

Social: Zamiel ɸ (complex fusion) or Daniel ♂ɸ (Zamiel + David)
Self-care: David ♂
Managers: The Mirror ♂ (inner self-helper) - Isaïa ♂ ("trauma-sitter") - Theia ♀ (gatekeeper)
Trauma holders: Pride|Wrath ♂ - Lust ♀ - Reyna ♀ - Ulysses ɸ

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