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Are these 'normal issues' if you have OSDD or DID?

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Are these 'normal issues' if you have OSDD or DID?

Postby KitMcDaydream » Wed May 26, 2021 7:20 am

1) One self is never sure we have it? Maybe we're daydreaming the whole thing (and have Maladaptive Daydreaming very severely) or maybe we're an undiagnosed schizophrenic (for 50+ years) and this is our delusion that we have multiple alters??

2) Do we struggle with relationships because of the autism or because 'someone else' has come forwards who doesn't have the same bond with that person/relative/friend. eg for years our sibling has felt like a stranger to us (over the time when Thea and Maddie were main hosts), now we identify with our birth name, we're closer to them than we've been since childhood but have completely lost the bond with the friend that met 'Thea', but never knew 'Susan'.

3) Sometimes I just don't know who I am or 'who to be' around others! I think the lockdown has made this harder in a way.. maybe because the only person I have been able to see is my sibling, and no longer have to see anyone that doesn't know 'that self', maybe thats why the original 'Susan' is out more, but then she feels she won't know how to behave any more in front of people that only knew 'the legal name'.
eg from our neighbours perspective the person that lives in this house was in a wheelchair (full time) when she first moved here and was 'very deaf' and struggled to communicate with them (except via messaging or email)...that's not who 'Susan' feels she is, but is who we feel we have to be as that is what people expect of 'the legal name' for this body!

4) We're not sure who is the host of the legal body because no-one whose being out in the last 14 month of lockdown identifies with who the 'legal body' used to be and is still seen to be by the outside world.

5) Although we're quite sure 'regular singleton people' don't even have these thoughts/issues and we wouldn't either if we were just one single mind, we still contently have cycles of going from 'knowing we definitely are', or 'maybe?... we must be?' to 'what if its a brain tumour or the menopause causing a psychotic break?' (making schizophrenia more likely) ..then what if they mis-diagnosed us years ago and we had childhood schizophrenia not early childhood autism??? (They seemed to know very little about the possibility of mental illness in children back then - 70's)

It's so exhausting mentally especially when all these thoughts come in a stream within a short time frame!! I'm not even sure whose typing all this right now, whether its just coming from one...or several!!

confused.com!!! :shock:
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Re: Are these 'normal issues' if you have OSDD or DID?

Postby IainEtc » Wed May 26, 2021 10:36 am

Hi,

This is pretty much the list of things multiples do. Even thinking you have something else is exactly right for being multiple. There are scientific words for all this like 'depersonalization' but then there's just 'I'm multiple' - which kind of sums it all up.

Iain
Iain - 14, Colin - 17, Evan - 7, Cody - 16, Raven, & Host - the adult out front

When they say 'be yourself',
which one do they mean?
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Re: Are these 'normal issues' if you have OSDD or DID?

Postby ArbreMonde » Wed May 26, 2021 12:47 pm

1) Denial is something all dissociative people go through.

2) Both. Autism makes it hard to relate to non-autistic people and vice-versa. Dissociation makes it difficult to keep in touch with people due to amnesia and other dissociative things. Mind you, "difficult" does not mean "impossible".

3) Identity confusion or blurring between different alters is common. Moreover, it is difficult to keep the same social mask for everybody. This is linked to dissociation. We dissociate in order to adapt to different situations more easily. Which makes it difficult to put out a one and only front for the outside.

4) This happens. As long as you manage to all function together to lead a good life, who needs the host to be the same always?

5) This is denial, again. Moreover, schizophrenia is completely different from dissociation. The thoughts you hear are your own but they appear to come from the outside and they are very distressing, and can only be controlled through specific medication and specific therapy - which is very different from how the "coming from other people inside my head" voices of the dissociation, function. This is only one tiny aspect of the difference between schizophrenia and DID. Do not hesitate to dig further to better understand the difference.

Moreover, schizophrenia is something that appears with time starting teenagehood. Autism is a specific brain structure leading to over-sensitivities to emotions, dissociation, sensory inputs, as well as a different way to relate to the world and other people.

Confusing is a good way of depicting how it feels to be dissociative. Ourselves are in a state of confusion almost half of the time. Granted, being polyfragmented makes the whole confusion easier to deal with and just shove aside as in "Okay, we are confused. Again. Let's have some tea and pet the cat. This too shall pass."

__
Theo van Hohenheim.
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he/him | she/her | they/them

Active alter {sub-system or fusion} :

Urielles {Uriel|Theia|Saul|Wolf(?)} -- {G/Hosts} -- {Zami} -- Envy -- X/David/Solomon/Scar -- Ulysses -- {Isaïa|Reyna} -- Mirror {Aragorn|Sherlock Holmes|...} -- {Pride|Wrath} -- Trisha -- Lust -- Hohenheim/Theo

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Re: Are these 'normal issues' if you have OSDD or DID?

Postby IainEtc » Wed May 26, 2021 3:33 pm

Hi Theo,

Nice reply, dude! You really nailed it.

Iain
Iain - 14, Colin - 17, Evan - 7, Cody - 16, Raven, & Host - the adult out front

When they say 'be yourself',
which one do they mean?
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Re: Are these 'normal issues' if you have OSDD or DID?

Postby KitMcDaydream » Thu May 27, 2021 7:37 am

Hi this is Suki

We are upfront today as have a delivery and nurse coming to give vaccine shot. Hoping to get the dog out somewhere inbetween but still waiting for 1hr slot and nurse to confirm a time! The 'PF Team' will be out at the weekend.

Anyway just wanted to say Thanks for answering so you know your answers had been seen and we appreciate you taking the time to answer.

Actually while we're here cos we don't come on much, we want to say Thank you to everyone who has ever answered our alters posts as we know much of our 'understanding of ourselves' has come from this community.

from

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Re: Are these 'normal issues' if you have OSDD or DID?

Postby Truly_happy » Sun May 30, 2021 9:59 pm

1.) Old host Jada posting this answer. I used to have thoughts like that before I discovered the DID. Turns out I have DID and delusions AND maladaptive daydreaming! (Pokes Cullen and Imre, who were her fictional characters. (Imre: Ow. :? )) As for schizophrenia, I don't have that, but I used to live with someone who did. I agree with another person here: it is way different from DID. Read about it.

My point is, you are a complex person. I understand why you get confused. It's normal.

We'll answer more questions later. We have to go.
We are the Neighborhood, a DID system of over 30 people.
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Imre ("EEM-ruh") - male, 20s, compassionate
Cullen - male, 13, loves life
Marcella - female, 30s, visionary

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Re: Are these 'normal issues' if you have OSDD or DID?

Postby KitMcDaydream » Mon May 31, 2021 8:41 am

Truly_happy wrote:1.) Old host Jada posting this answer. I used to have thoughts like that before I discovered the DID. Turns out I have DID and delusions AND maladaptive daydreaming! (Pokes Cullen and Imre, who were her fictional characters. (Imre: Ow. :? )) As for schizophrenia, I don't have that, but I used to live with someone who did. I agree with another person here: it is way different from DID. Read about it.

My point is, you are a complex person. I understand why you get confused. It's normal.

We'll answer more questions later. We have to go.


Thankyou for your post. Suki has been looking into the schizophrenia element as they have also been researching menopause symptoms (thats where they came across 'late-onset schizophrenia in menopausal women').

I think some of our beliefs maybe seen as delusions by some people (athiests maybe?) but also found a statement that religion is not counted as 'delusion'. so things like belief in angels, god, reincarnation may be seen more as a religious belief rather than a schizo-type delusion.

We definitely have an alter that uses MD intensely, in fact Kit originally came on here for that reason - I think that's what her first post was about? She fantasizises intensely with an extreme attention to detail, but she is also the most autistic adult, though surely if all us other alters were a product of her imagination we wouldn't be able to function in the outside world if she was on the inside doing something else entirely??

All our human alters have existed in the real world at some point (even as other real life people). The only non-human alters we have are the changelings who can change into anything KIt is imagining.. ie Vulcans from StarTrek, Navi from Avatar etc

We all have an awareness though that the changelings can't be seen by 'real life others', even though we can all see them when we're inside.

Jody
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Psych Board team - Jody (19 f, h), Phoenix (12 gn ch), Susie (6 f, h)
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Re: Are these 'normal issues' if you have OSDD or DID?

Postby IainEtc » Mon May 31, 2021 9:13 am

Hi,

When we experience stuff other people think don't exist then they say we're 'delusional' - but we're not. They're just living in worlds that are way too small.

Iain
Iain - 14, Colin - 17, Evan - 7, Cody - 16, Raven, & Host - the adult out front

When they say 'be yourself',
which one do they mean?
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Re: Are these 'normal issues' if you have OSDD or DID?

Postby KitMcDaydream » Mon May 31, 2021 10:45 am

IainEtc wrote:Hi,

When we experience stuff other people think don't exist then they say we're 'delusional' - but we're not. They're just living in worlds that are way too small.

Iain


I really think that is why our system decided that the host must keep us a secret. I think now that's why the ANP host in the bodies younger days was disconnected from the inside, until we all reached the point we could understand the importance of staying a secret (in the outside world).

It was a HUGE decision for our guardians/protectors to allow us to stay on here, but it's literally the only safe place we could come out and get support.

Jody
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Re: Are these 'normal issues' if you have OSDD or DID?

Postby ArbreMonde » Mon May 31, 2021 11:09 am

In my opinion, there is a difference between being delusional, and having a rich Innerworld with lots of alternative ways of functioning compared to the physical world. The following definitions and examples are how I/we understand the different concepts. They are not medical definitions! Double-check if you want the exact medical definitions!

Delusion: the belief that the outside, physical world is different than the way it is, depite having physical proof of the way it is. Example: the belief that all birds are government-piloted drones even though they are bred in captivity, eaten (chicken for example), or that you can find bird skeletons in museums.

Rich Innerworld: the belief that some alters are animals, or fictive characters, or have magical powers... in the Innerworld. The fact that alters have identities different than the physical body, while knowing in the same time that they interact in the physical world only through the physical body. Having phantom feelings of the body the alters "should have" while being aware the physical body is different.

Spiritual beliefs: believing in angels, reincarnation, god/s... while still being aware they are beliefs of a spiritual or religious nature. Understanding that other people can have other beliefs due to different culture, point of view, personal experiences... and that it's okay because that's part of the human diversity and it's beautiful.

Grey area: belief that some alters are spirits sharing your body, who lived other lives somewhere else in the universe. I place this in the grey area because it is linked to "separatedness delusion" AND to spiritual beliefs AND to having a rich Innerworld. Where exactly this kind of things stands, depends on how you interact with these thoughts. (Moreover, in a system, different alters can have different views on different subjects and beliefs because dissociation is never easy!)

I hope I helped you sort things out.

Conclusion: you need to be wayyyy down the rabbit hole and way disconnected from the physical world, to classify as "delusion". (And I guess that a delusional person would NOT ask themself if they are delusional since they are too deep into the rabbit hole to be aware that their beliefs are beliefs not facts).

__
Urielles and Zami.
Autistic, DID

he/him | she/her | they/them

Active alter {sub-system or fusion} :

Urielles {Uriel|Theia|Saul|Wolf(?)} -- {G/Hosts} -- {Zami} -- Envy -- X/David/Solomon/Scar -- Ulysses -- {Isaïa|Reyna} -- Mirror {Aragorn|Sherlock Holmes|...} -- {Pride|Wrath} -- Trisha -- Lust -- Hohenheim/Theo

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