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Strugling to come to terms

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Re: Strugling to come to terms

Postby ArbreMonde » Sun May 16, 2021 12:41 pm

Alters are dissociated parts of your mind.

Once your brain has taken the habit (from a traumatic childhood) to develop alternating identities from dissociated parts, new alters can appear at any point in your life, whenever needed to contain new material. The amount of stress depends on the system, the sensitivity of the brain to said stress/trauma, and other factors.

Also, because alters are "made up by the brain in order to deal with trauma" it does not mean they are fake. Alters DO exist.

TheHiveMind wrote:I'm going crazy. There is no life, there is no point. Where have those dreams gone, where is that strength I used to have. I cant deal with the voices and I'm driving myself insane. I cant even ask for help. Someone like me shouldnt have survived if this if all that's left. So called "alters helped you though the hard times" they make life a misery. What's the point. Why didnt we die.


Yes, things are tough. Dealing with the aftermath of trauma is awful, long, and it requires help from specialized therapists.

The alters do not "make life a misery": the trauma does. Alters just appear to contain traumatic material (or keep non-traumatic material safely away from traumatic material). How alters interact with each-others and with the host, how they behave... is linked to trauma. Bad behaviors from alters often stem from internalized trauma. Just like non-dissociative people often beat themselves up and self-harm and repeat the trauma on themselves, dissociative people do it too. The difference is that for dissociative people, it will be one or more alters acting up on the others, instead of one singlet person doing it on themself.

Good luck in finding the trauma therapy ressources that will help you through it all.

__
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Active alter {sub-system or fusion} :

Urielles {Uriel|Theia|Saul|Wolf(?)} -- {G/Hosts} -- {Zami} -- Envy -- X/David/Solomon/Scar -- Ulysses -- {Isaïa|Reyna} -- Mirror {Aragorn|Sherlock Holmes|...} -- {Pride|Wrath} -- Trisha -- Lust -- Hohenheim/Theo

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Re: Strugling to come to terms

Postby TheHiveMind » Fri May 21, 2021 9:57 am

Syra managed to come to an agreement with our partner. He tells me I can talk to him next time. I really enjoy talking to him.
I'm an age slider, I've been told. But I dont understand what that means. I dont have any trauma but I can be an adult then childish. But I'm like the big brother to our little. We always like playing together.

Syra said our partner struggled to understand what a little is. Syra said he should think of Lou as handy caped adult with a childs mind. Is this right?

I'm going to try talking to our persecuter again. I think he is nice really. Like someone on here said, he is just scared.

- Boi
Multiple System
Hosts: Syra/Nobody (any)
Others: Raven (he/him) Lou - little (she/her)
Persecuter: Shadow (he/him)
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Re: Strugling to come to terms

Postby TheHiveMind » Sun May 23, 2021 12:19 pm

How does any one on here deal with an anoying ex/partner?

All she does is demand attention and time, without offering any to thoes who are ment to be in relashionship with. First time I met her all we did was fight and she kept asking syra (the host) to defend her.
She/he, what ever it is has a partner so I dont understand what their intrest in us is.
I know I'm not the one in the relashionship it's some of the others. But I should be respected.

- rainar
Multiple System
Hosts: Syra/Nobody (any)
Others: Raven (he/him) Lou - little (she/her)
Persecuter: Shadow (he/him)
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Re: Strugling to come to terms

Postby ArbreMonde » Sun May 23, 2021 12:50 pm

This will come as blunt but, if the person cannot respect our boundaries when we say "This is the boundary you should not cross" we try first to ignore, and if ignoring does not work, we block. Plain and simple.

Ain't nobody got time for that! [kind of people]

__
Urielles.
Autistic, DID

he/him | she/her | they/them

Active alter {sub-system or fusion} :

Urielles {Uriel|Theia|Saul|Wolf(?)} -- {G/Hosts} -- {Zami} -- Envy -- X/David/Solomon/Scar -- Ulysses -- {Isaïa|Reyna} -- Mirror {Aragorn|Sherlock Holmes|...} -- {Pride|Wrath} -- Trisha -- Lust -- Hohenheim/Theo

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Re: Strugling to come to terms

Postby IainEtc » Tue May 25, 2021 11:35 am

If you don't know her interest it probably isn't a good one. Lots of people hang on to the bad side of relationships even after they leave. It's weird but kind of the way it is.

Iain
Iain - 14, Colin - 17, Evan - 7, Cody - 16, Raven, & Host - the adult out front

When they say 'be yourself',
which one do they mean?
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Re: Strugling to come to terms

Postby TheHiveMind » Tue May 25, 2021 1:04 pm

Rainar doesnt get along with the partner. She hasnt been around long to understand the situation.

I'm not in a stable mind set at the moment. Parinoyed and dont know reality. I'm borderline so relashionships are dificult at the best of times. An agreement has been made. It's long distance and we are still talking. But it's only talking, nothing else.

Wish I could delete what rainar wrote but I know would just piss her off more.

- Syra
Multiple System
Hosts: Syra/Nobody (any)
Others: Raven (he/him) Lou - little (she/her)
Persecuter: Shadow (he/him)
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Re: Strugling to come to terms

Postby ArbreMonde » Wed May 26, 2021 6:08 am

Hey, it's okay to feel conflicted emotions and have trouble sorting them out. An understanding partner stands their personal boundaries for self-preservation while helping the other sort out their own struggles.

Be nice to yourself.

Also, piece of advice: you can find online ressources for borderline people on how to deal with strong emotions. Helped us a lot since Zami is kinda explosive sometimes. Good luck!

__
The G/Hosts.
Autistic, DID

he/him | she/her | they/them

Active alter {sub-system or fusion} :

Urielles {Uriel|Theia|Saul|Wolf(?)} -- {G/Hosts} -- {Zami} -- Envy -- X/David/Solomon/Scar -- Ulysses -- {Isaïa|Reyna} -- Mirror {Aragorn|Sherlock Holmes|...} -- {Pride|Wrath} -- Trisha -- Lust -- Hohenheim/Theo

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Re: Strugling to come to terms

Postby TheHiveMind » Wed May 26, 2021 9:28 am

Update

Possible that shadow and rainar are fragments related to anger and hate directed at abusers.

Also the website where I once found safety feels like its targeting us specifically again. First it was about banning otherkin identifies and now it's about multiples. Anyone without a dignosis they are assuming is faking. I keep trying to leave that place. But I now start thinking am I faking it again. I don't use a lot of socal media to be influenced with what's "trendy". Why do people need proof? I cant prove it. How do you prove it if I think I'm fake and others do because I'm not willing to explain everything.

Now I'm stressed n feeling sick because of it all

- syra
Multiple System
Hosts: Syra/Nobody (any)
Others: Raven (he/him) Lou - little (she/her)
Persecuter: Shadow (he/him)
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Re: Strugling to come to terms

Postby IainEtc » Wed May 26, 2021 10:47 am

Not your job to explain. You don't have to justify yourself. 'Purity tests' are BS. If a group is doing that they're having problems. It's not about you.

Colin
Iain - 14, Colin - 17, Evan - 7, Cody - 16, Raven, & Host - the adult out front

When they say 'be yourself',
which one do they mean?
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Re: Strugling to come to terms

Postby TheHiveMind » Thu May 27, 2021 10:02 am

Bad morning. Triggering nightmares about trauma and transitioning. Lot of confused emotions after finally getting to feeling more masculine again.

Feeling strange after our little was around a lot yesterday. We went to meet with our brother which always brings our little forward. I dont understand the conection but there isnt much attachment to parents. I personally have few memories of our brother until we were older. But it's nice to see little Lou growing in confidence.
I hope the partner accepts her for what she is rather than a fettish or disability.

Fogot I'd already mentioned fragments. Hopefully if I can sort out my emotions they may disipear

- syra

Edit: we wanted to say thank you to everyone that posts here with advice and support. Its greatly valued
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Others: Raven (he/him) Lou - little (she/her)
Persecuter: Shadow (he/him)
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