Started working out Trauma ,Feels triggered but emowered als

by **bellic007** » Thu Jan 21, 2021 10:54 am

I started working on my traumatic memories with a book coping trauma and dissociation.I sent daily worksheet to my therapist.who support me well.I was able to recognize some of my mind as parts that are afraid and are silent .I also start to realise I am working as a system and there is a pattern.Like each time I work up somememories I feel anger,and worry and many traumatic symptoms then I start to self Medicate.Actually I use porn to self medicate and I dontthink porn will help me to better understand myself.As I think each time I workout or try to promote internal communication I wanted to escape and I feel so frustrated about it.I had also many emotions assoiated with my disorder.Like I am so angry at the fact that I have a problem and I am so avoidant.I just want to do something to deny the existence of dissociation.And I just think everything was ove.I have no very Big trauma myself (my therapist said this).but still I have so much empathy to me for surviving such a massive disaster in my life.the way I affected my mind and it pushed me into a shock which was still there.there am frightened by that fact that I feel myself as something who was trying to swim fast and find shores.I just want to find something that i can relate to do that i don't feel ssoo empty and two dimensional.I just want to reconnect with my parts Live them comfort then.Give security to them and provide assurance that whatever happens I will be there for them.Many parts are still paranoid that I may try to destroy it or hurt it.Because I did before.I am sorry for those parts who were left alone and not cared for in the developmental period.and yeah thanks everyone for letting me share

# Take a big breath, you are going to be fine.

# There are worse things to use than porn to self medicate. Have you tried sitting with your anger for a few minutes before turning to something else? Like, setting a timer for a short period of time, sitting down, putting your hand on your heart and saying something like: "I am angry that this happened. It is okay to be angry that it happened. Because it was a bad thing. It is okay to be angry when bad things happen. But, here and now, the bad things no longer exist. Here and now, I am safe."

# Being avoidant of what hurts is perfectly normal! Nobody can just run headfirst into a painful thing without training! It takes time, and dealing with it little by little. Accepting that it hurts and that it's okay it hurts, because anybody would hurt in the same situation. That you have the right to feel hurt that it happened. Even if now, things are safe, the past was difficult. It's okay.

# You feel like trying to swim fast and find shores. But if you fight too much in too little a time, you will be exausted! To keep going with the metaphor, it's okay to just float here and rest. Take a breath. Gather your strenghts. Look around to see if someone can help. Or if you can signal asking for help.

# It's normal to have paranoid parts. They were hurt in the past. They are scared that the hurt will come back. They are like wild animals who need to learn to trust. Give them time. Give yourself time and peace. Maybe talking to yourself can help. Telling yourself that you are sorry for the past hurt. That you want things to get better. That you want all your parts to feel safe and heard. That it's okay if they feel angry. Things like that.

# Even if the past was awful, it's possible to work together for a brighter future, one step at a time.

# You can do it, all of you together!

__
Uriel

by **bellic007** » Sat Jan 23, 2021 8:50 am

ArbreMonde wrote:# Take a big breath, you are going to be fine.

# There are worse things to use than porn to self medicate. Have you tried sitting with your anger for a few minutes before turning to something else? Like, setting a timer for a short period of time, sitting down, putting your hand on your heart and saying something like: "I am angry that this happened. It is okay to be angry that it happened. Because it was a bad thing. It is okay to be angry when bad things happen. But, here and now, the bad things no longer exist. Here and now, I am safe."

# Being avoidant of what hurts is perfectly normal! Nobody can just run headfirst into a painful thing without training! It takes time, and dealing with it little by little. Accepting that it hurts and that it's okay it hurts, because anybody would hurt in the same situation. That you have the right to feel hurt that it happened. Even if now, things are safe, the past was difficult. It's okay.

# You feel like trying to swim fast and find shores. But if you fight too much in too little a time, you will be exausted! To keep going with the metaphor, it's okay to just float here and rest. Take a breath. Gather your strenghts. Look around to see if someone can help. Or if you can signal asking for help.

# It's normal to have paranoid parts. They were hurt in the past. They are scared that the hurt will come back. They are like wild animals who need to learn to trust. Give them time. Give yourself time and peace. Maybe talking to yourself can help. Telling yourself that you are sorry for the past hurt. That you want things to get better. That you want all your parts to feel safe and heard. That it's okay if they feel angry. Things like that.

# Even if the past was awful, it's possible to work together for a brighter future, one step at a time.

# You can do it, all of you together!

__
Uriel

Thanks this made my day.I am so grateful for this reply .one step at a time.I gave myself a one day break yesterday as I thought I am forcing too much in little time and yesterday I rested and never gone through the book.Today i started it but I am not rushing .Slowly and steadily i want to win the race.

Started working out Trauma ,Feels triggered but emowered als

Started working out Trauma ,Feels triggered but emowered als

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