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Hello! Looking for Jewish resources

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Hello! Looking for Jewish resources

Postby JewishWithOSDD1b » Thu Nov 12, 2020 8:29 pm

Hello, my name is Moyra and I'm part of an OSDD1b system. We were born Jewish, raised as an Orthodox Jew, and want to continue living as Orthodox Jews.

I'm looking for any resources or support that might be available - a Rabbi who can answer hashkafic and maybe halachic questions that my system has; advice from other Jewish systems or system allies; any referrals to understanding spaces within the Jewish community - any bit of advice, guidance, or connection helps. If there is a single Shadchan out there who understands DID in even the most basic way, that will be helpful for calming some system member's concerns if we don't reach out for some time. Our biggest priority is finding a spiritual leader who can answer questions as many of the system just feel like there is no way to balance multiplicity with our spiritual goals and I know that's untrue.

Thank you,

Moyra (25f) (This is neither the body's legal name or age, although we are legal adults and in a position to make our own life decisions safely)
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Re: Hello! Looking for Jewish resources

Postby Zor » Thu Nov 12, 2020 10:22 pm

We don't know of any specific local sources, but Chabad.org is good, AskMoses.com isn't bad either.

We're not born Jewish (the body isn't- at least not that we're aware of), but several in our system are- a few Messianic Judaism (practicing mostly Orthodox) and one Orthodox in our system. We (collectively) read a LOT from Chabad (it's Lubavitch I believe).

For your local area, I'd look around to see if you've got any Orthodox Synagogues. They would be the best source of information requiring talking with a Rabbi personally. There is likely a Chabad (or other form of Orthodox Judaism) synagogue somewhat close- in my relatively small and rural area we've got one, and at least one or two Conservative/Reform Synagogues (while more lenient in their Halachic standards and customs, they could possibly serve to point you towards other, more Orthodox, sources and answers, too). And if you can't find an Orthodox Rabbi, if you explain to them your situation and needs, they might be willing to accommodate your spiritual needs to the best of their ability within their expression of Judaism. Might not be ideal, but it could be an option for you.
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Re: Hello! Looking for Jewish resources

Postby MakersDozn » Sat Nov 14, 2020 1:56 am

Hi, Moyra and all. Nonreligious Jew here. Father was practicing Conservative; his mother was same, and his father was nonreligious. Our mother was raised Reform by parents who did what they believed was best to keep up appearances. Mother became non-religious.

Our beliefs are eclectic.

All of this said, we just wanted to say hello. Zor has already provided a great response that may be helpful to you. We hope that you find the resources that you're looking for.

MDs
Body cis ♀ (1962). Realized 1996 that we're multiple. System of 47, all cis: 42 ♀, 5 ♂; 17 littles (0-7+), 9 middles (8-11+), 14 teens (12-17+), 5 bigs (18+), + formless yin/yang.

Notable: Charity 25 (oldest), Deborah 23, Drew 23f, Mary 23, Rachel 23, Laura 17.5, Allegra 17, Cass 17, shawn 16f.
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Re: Hello! Looking for Jewish resources

Postby JewishWithOSDD1b » Sun Nov 15, 2020 1:41 am

Thank you both for your responses. Tor, we greatly appreciate the details you shared. We do have a Rabbi from the shul our family attends, but attempting to explain everything to him is... Overwhelming. He is very kind but does not always understand the physical medical issues we have, so attempting to explain this would be a lot.

We know that to live as Frum Jews and still cope with our OSDD, we're going to need to constantly be explaining our disorder to the people we trust and just trying to balance that very fine line. Given everything else we struggle with, it's a lot. (Someone in the system, who we had thought was rather indifferent to most of Halacha, had a mental health event last night about it. It started with how to explain to an optometrist that different system members might have different glasses prescriptions and turned into... Everything)

I've lost count of how often I, and other system members, have googled for any information on Jews with DID/OSDD or other searches around the same topic. This forum was the closest we've gotten. I was told Chabad.org, and other big Torah sites, had nothing but I'll check that again myself.

We won't give up.

Thank you again for all your support,

Moyra/blended
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Re: Hello! Looking for Jewish resources

Postby JewishWithOSDD1b » Sun Nov 15, 2020 1:44 am

Left out a bit in my reply. We probably could find a Rabbi who would listen as we attempted to explain everything and who could maybe find some answers with us, but we're exhausted of explaining this disorder and all our other conditions to people just to get the basic support we need. To find a resource or community where dissociative disorders are already a known thing and other people who are Jewish could support us, that would be... Well, it would take away a huge part of the load we currently carry
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Re: Hello! Looking for Jewish resources

Postby Zor » Sun Nov 15, 2020 5:03 pm

JewishWithOSDD1b wrote:Thank you both for your responses. Tor, we greatly appreciate the details you shared. We do have a Rabbi from the shul our family attends, but attempting to explain everything to him is... Overwhelming. He is very kind but does not always understand the physical medical issues we have, so attempting to explain this would be a lot.

Unfortunately being a minority population, around 1-3% of the world, explaining ourselves, our condition is a reality we have to accept. It is unreasonable to expect any particular person to understand us. We can not be expected to understand any given person without foreknowledge of them and their struggles, the same is true for them regarding us.
However, we CAN and SHOULD expect compassion, decency, and dignity- a willingness to listen, to learn, and to be tolerant, to accept us.

JewishWithOSDD1b wrote:We know that to live as Frum Jews and still cope with our OSDD, we're going to need to constantly be explaining our disorder to the people we trust and just trying to balance that very fine line. Given everything else we struggle with, it's a lot. (Someone in the system, who we had thought was rather indifferent to most of Halacha, had a mental health event last night about it. It started with how to explain to an optometrist that different system members might have different glasses prescriptions and turned into... Everything)

"Constantly explaining" is NOT unique to living as a Jew. It is common to living as a person with OSDD/DID. The simple fact is that to the world's perspective we are "rare", relatively unheard of, and entirely misunderstood. ALL OF THAT requires constant correction and explanation... OR it requires covering and concealing our nature and how we exist. This is a pain, a burden, and a struggle... but it is just one we have to accept exists because of how WE exist and survived.
Other mental health conditions share this similar burden- much for the same reasons... generally the relative rarity (1-3% is NOT "unheard of" but to the 97-99% it's rare), and the misinformation and misrepresentation in the media and news.

JewishWithOSDD1b wrote:I've lost count of how often I, and other system members, have googled for any information on Jews with DID/OSDD or other searches around the same topic. This forum was the closest we've gotten. I was told Chabad.org, and other big Torah sites, had nothing but I'll check that again myself.

We won't give up.

On this, I'd say first, STOP looking to be "A Jew with..." and simply seek to live out your life within your Jewish faith as best you can AS YOU ARE. Your mental health presents and creates unique challenges, but it doesn't need to define you. We, Kaleb and I, live fairly Orthodox lives (we're follow Messianic Judaism)... inside particularly, but we do our best when we are out, too. For example, while others in our system have no problem with meat & dairy mixing, we do NOT eat it. Halachic standards don't permit it, so we don't do it.

I don't know you'll find Jewish sites or sources specifically accommodating our condition as that's NOT the focus of the faith- that is on HaShem. So the instructions and information will be about THAT, not US. That's kind of the perspective of Judaism as a whole, less us more G-d. I think you may find it easier to approach your faith from a "this is who I am, how do I relate to G-d" rather than "my mental health condition is, so I need to relate to my faith through it" approach. At least, that has helped US.

And, totally a side note here, Chabad is one of my favorite sites- I get their newsletter emails and read a dozen or more of their articles and study things every week.
-Kitten
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Re: Hello! Looking for Jewish resources

Postby JewishWithOSDD1b » Mon Nov 16, 2020 4:00 am

I appreciate all of your encouragement - I will definitely read it over when I'm in a better state to understand it.

I think a lot of my, and our collective, frustration comes from the fact that even before our diagnosis, for so many reasons we always felt on the fringes of Frum society - that we could either advocate for our needs (allergies, chronic illness, more 'mainstream' mental health challenges') or be silent and be accepted. And we've been advocating for ourselves from a very young age across virtually every aspect of our lives. I appreciate what you're saying and it's a valuable perspective. Right now, the system is exhausted. We're tired of fighting our various fights. But I'll show them this message.

I'm going to leave this post up, though, because if there are any support groups or resources or anywhere where we can go and just be understood as both a frum yid and a multiple person, that would be incredible for us. I know it's a 1 in a million chance - but so is the fact that we're still alive with all our health problems; and neither of those are chance - they're the will of Hashem and a LOT of hishtadlus. So I'm leaving this post up and if anyone does come across anything that could help us, we would greatly appreciate it.

- Moyra and Bobbi Luna
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Re: Hello! Looking for Jewish resources

Postby MakersDozn » Tue Nov 17, 2020 6:54 am

Great post, Kitten.

Moyra and Bobbi Luna, we realized it was Shabbat when we replied. Our apologies for the timing. We're sorry that we don't have anything else to suggest.

We had to Google "hishtadlus." This is a learning experience for us. It's important to know where we come from, even if we live a different way. Thank you.

MDs
Body cis ♀ (1962). Realized 1996 that we're multiple. System of 47, all cis: 42 ♀, 5 ♂; 17 littles (0-7+), 9 middles (8-11+), 14 teens (12-17+), 5 bigs (18+), + formless yin/yang.

Notable: Charity 25 (oldest), Deborah 23, Drew 23f, Mary 23, Rachel 23, Laura 17.5, Allegra 17, Cass 17, shawn 16f.
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Re: Hello! Looking for Jewish resources

Postby Zor » Thu Nov 19, 2020 3:59 pm

MakersDozn wrote:Great post, Kitten.

Moyra and Bobbi Luna, we realized it was Shabbat when we replied. Our apologies for the timing. We're sorry that we don't have anything else to suggest.

We had to Google "hishtadlus." This is a learning experience for us. It's important to know where we come from, even if we live a different way. Thank you.

MDs


So internally, I wasn't born Jewish like Kaleb and marrying him married into it... and they don't speak or use Yiddish terms much, so I googled them, too. lol We DO use a lot of Hebrew terms though, so many of those I am aware of - and the most common Yiddish ones we tend to know. ;)

As for Shabbat... not a problem to reply on it, but generally you shouldn't expect a reply on Shabbat. Many of the Orthodox, don't "create a spark" (like any electronics do when turned on/off) on Shabbat. We're not that stringent in _our_ family... but we don't generally get online. We reserve the time for worship, study, and family.

And, JewishWithOSDD1b, I hope you are finding some help and relief. B''H

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Re: Hello! Looking for Jewish resources

Postby MakersDozn » Sat Nov 21, 2020 1:34 am

Thanks. Yeah, we know it's more a matter of simply not expecting a response during Shabbat. We mainly wanted to make it clear to Moyra and all that we're aware of Shabbat restrictions, and respect them, even though we don't personally follow them.

And on that note, Shabbat Shalom.

MDs
Body cis ♀ (1962). Realized 1996 that we're multiple. System of 47, all cis: 42 ♀, 5 ♂; 17 littles (0-7+), 9 middles (8-11+), 14 teens (12-17+), 5 bigs (18+), + formless yin/yang.

Notable: Charity 25 (oldest), Deborah 23, Drew 23f, Mary 23, Rachel 23, Laura 17.5, Allegra 17, Cass 17, shawn 16f.
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