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Never good enough...

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Re: Never good enough...

Postby Zor » Sun Jan 17, 2021 2:38 am

It's been quiet for weeks... then out of the blue one day

I’m sorry for anything I say or did that hurt you.

So the reply we sent was simple and reaffirming the same as before.
"And, as I said before, I am sorry I hurt you, too. It was never my intention. I hope that we can avoid this same situation and pattern in the future. I would like a healthy relationship if we can have one. Can we work towards that?"

This was her reply I got- and it's caused a big stir inside... Angel's response was "F--k you!" and Pixie, too, is a bit irate... others are just hurt and/or disappointed.

I’d like to talk to you but not tonight. It’s our 43rd anniversary. We are making pizza and watching the 100.

After talking with drs about 2 suicide attempts, dad blocked everyone from our phones. I’m going to ask him to put you and [brother] back on tomorrow. Dad is very sensitive/anger about it all. Not at me! What caused me to feel I needed to end my life.


Blaming US for her problems, her suicidal tendencies lately?! This after saying we don't do enough to see/know or talk to her enough... so which is it?! Do we do "too much" to push her to this, or do we "not do enough" to even know?!

I am NOT replying to this, and if I get even ONE more message like this... it's over, this time by MY choosing- I am NOT taking the blame from her for this. Those actions are HER decisions, not ours. I am so angry and hurt right now... my mother, choosing to blame ME for her life's pain had her painfully bad decisions... her misery. Maybe Angel's response is appropriate.
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Re: Never good enough...

Postby IainEtc » Sun Jan 17, 2021 9:28 pm

Hi Zor,

Sorry you're hurting. Your mom really knows how to drive in the knife where it hurts.

Iain & Colin
Iain - 14, Colin - 17, Evan - 7, Cody - 16, Raven, & Host - the adult out front

When they say 'be yourself',
which one do they mean?
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Re: Never good enough...

Postby Zor » Sun Jan 17, 2021 9:35 pm

IainEtc wrote:Hi Zor,

Sorry you're hurting. Your mom really knows how to drive in the knife where it hurts.

Iain & Colin


For sure she does. And we're like soooooo ready to just be done with it- for good. That "I'm sorry" followed by that bulls--t! >:(

{\Pixie/}
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Re: Never good enough...

Postby IainEtc » Sun Jan 17, 2021 11:16 pm

First get your opponent to drop his guard. Oldest trick in the book.

Never take what your enemy offers you. - Sun Tzu

Colin
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Re: Never good enough...

Postby MakersDozn » Mon Feb 01, 2021 8:40 pm

IainEtc wrote:Never take what your enemy offers you. - Sun Tzu

Colin

Totally agree with this.

We're sorry you're still going through this, Zor and Pixie and all.

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Re: Never good enough...

Postby Zor » Tue Feb 09, 2021 1:36 am

IainEtc wrote:First get your opponent to drop his guard. Oldest trick in the book.

Never take what your enemy offers you. - Sun Tzu

Colin


Lesson learned the hard way.

The good news is we did NOT reply to that message from her at all. We did the first part, BEFORE that stab... but nothing to that, as promised and as we told her. NOT doing it anymore.

It's been a few weeks... no call, no message, nothing. Guess she didn't care as much as she wanted us to think.

-Angel
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Re: Never good enough...

Postby ArbreMonde » Tue Feb 09, 2021 8:38 am

Sending moral support! We're in the same boat with the mother here, so we understand your ordeal.

It's super frustrating but, you can do it! You can protect yourself/ves from her! You will do it! Yay for you!

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Re: Never good enough...

Postby Zor » Mon Feb 15, 2021 4:58 am

So the drama gets better... now she's telling me (btw, entirely unsolicited and silence since the last drama nearly a month ago) that they changed their wills. All household stuff is sold to Goodwill, and we don't even need to come get it to do it. The house and land it's on... goes to a neighbor's three year old... He's "a sweet child".
What the f--k ever. I am so over this bulls--t.

So I’d like you to with [brother] that we have made out a new Will done. We are giving away all our household items to goodwill, they will come in and get it since you boys live out of state. And the house and land goes to [kid]. Our young neighbor. He’s 3 years old now. Lives next door in the red house, one door down. A sweet child.
[Brother] & I are talking but not well at communicating. Dad isn’t speaking to him at all right now. Just want you guys to know this just in case something happens to us, the will be in the safe. Taking Fozzy out for his walk now, he says so. Love you
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Re: Never good enough...

Postby Eliseahorse » Tue Feb 16, 2021 10:40 pm

Well that's their perogative. Do respond if she has done this in the hope of getting a response perhaps your continued silence might finally get through to her.


Keep it up. Eli

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Re: Never good enough...

Postby IainEtc » Thu Feb 18, 2021 2:32 pm

Guess you're on your own now. With folks like that sounds like a better deal. Liked the bit about the dog. Nice touch. Is she as big a psychopath as she sounds?

Good luck.

Colin
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When they say 'be yourself',
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