To be or not to be (a journey thread)

Well that was new. I (ex persecutor) was watching "the abc of death" with my partner, I like gnarly movies and aside from a scene where

TW fictional self harm TW
An obese girl uses a bread knife to carve herself into an hourglass shape
TW end TW

The film had been prity vanilla. But 2 minuits after we are introduced to the protagonist z our sandmen got restless and I just knew the charector was a pedophile, maybe another 2 minuets in the protagonist becomes a carecature with a $#%^ eating grin every time he sees a school boy. Then he goes to lick the sweat off of a bench.

I bearly made it to the sink before I vomited. I've laughed my way through the saw franchise but 6 minuets in the presence of a (fictional) person with pedophilic tendencies and I'm hurling my guts.

You guys have got to tray a physical based therapy!

So we have given up on the NHS. Went to a local private physio therapy place explained that we have this pain that we have had x pain for 20 odd years y pain for 15 odd years etc that it's from old injuries that were never treated and have heeled wrong etc oh and we have did and will probably defensively switch because those areas being touched is a major trigger etc

Got this sports therapy guy and explains that dykinesia is something that happens in loads of different people. It's when because an injury didn't receive adequate treatment and pain releaif at the time the nerves become traumatised and think the injury is still there so they signal the surrounding muscles to protect and shield the area. Normally this guarding response is short term and does no harm but done long term causes the guarding muscles to tair which produces real pain that the brain confuses for origanal injury pain so it keeps the muscles locked and it's a spiral that can only be undone by receiving "treatment"

I was sceptical but he said give it a try. He worked on my "collarbone" by dislocating and relocating my shoulder which was a close enough invasive pt treatment for my body to think the colarbone was being set. Then he gave me a bunch of excersizes to help with the "healing" logically I know that the exercises are dealing with the muscle injuries but my body and the alter carrying that trauma feels like the collarbone is being treated. The drop in pain has been astonishing