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Co-conscious in the form of anxiety attacks?

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Co-conscious in the form of anxiety attacks?

Postby complicated87 » Thu Oct 01, 2020 4:05 am

Has anyone had alters arrive in panic attacks?

For the past few days I have been extremely easily startled and once I'm startled nothing makes sense for a moment and I'm in a full blown panic attack.

I've had my anxiety attacks under good control over the years and have had very few and was able to pinpoint triggers and ground myself quickly. So I've been a bit disappointed in their return.....just when I felt pretty proud that I had reached a new level of growth too!!

These feel like I'm suddenly lost even though I am in my own living room or a place I frequently visit. I don't feel like 'me' (or even 'us') I just feel strange and confused and then I just try to sit and relax myself through the attack and try to make sense of where I am and reality just seems a bit surreal and odd....like I should know this place but where the bleep am I?

I am aware I'm with my people but the other foggy part has no idea where I'm at or what just happened. (I.E. a hot pan popped behind me while SO was cooking, someone accidentally broke a glass, I felt lost at a tiny zoo I have been to several times and didn't know my group or understand why they were following me...which was all distressing and caused the panic attacks.)


Could this be a co-con who I don't know and doesn't know me or us? Anyone else have an experience like this and what did you do? I've had old events on my of certain confusing time periods so it may be possible it was a college alter who used to have bad anxiety attacks. I've had this strange feeling like I've got a party to go to and I haven't partied in 10 + years! I've been craving certain old clothing stores and wanting to go buy 'party' clothes... it's a fun kind of feeling but that was a very dark and scary time of my life...so I almost feel ashamed for craving those types of 'fun' as it is definitely NOT my lifestyle now.
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Re: Co-conscious in the form of anxiety attacks?

Postby TheGangsAllHere » Thu Oct 01, 2020 5:41 am

An alter who is very anxious could be exerting passive influence or becoming co-conscious. You can try journaling to see if you can find out more. The fun feeling sounds like passive influence from another alter.

And definitely when someone shows up who hasn't been around for awhile, it can be very disorienting and that can affect everyone.

When you feel like that, you can try to ground by saying where you are, what year it is, and other things about your life right now, especially things that are safer or more secure or happier.
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Re: Co-conscious in the form of anxiety attacks?

Postby complicated87 » Thu Oct 01, 2020 6:38 pm

Thank you, TheGangsAllHere!

I just did some research on passive influence and this seems to make the most sense as I didn't feel like I had switched or met someone else.

I'll definitely try to journal that has always helped with switching and sudden co-cons from younger traumatized parts. This was just so different it's not like a conversation with someone it's just a foggy awareness..I suppose I could try journaling what may have triggered the sensations....I boxed up a few distressing college years with abusive relationships and self-medicating and heavy depression and try never to think about them so it would make sense someone is trapped there who may be ready to come back to the system and get some acceptance and understanding.

Always seems like when I gain a new level of stability someone else is ready to what I call "come home."

Anxiety attacks are sooo not fun....but I hate the idea of someone still trapped living like that in this brain daily.
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Re: Co-conscious in the form of anxiety attacks?

Postby Zor » Thu Oct 01, 2020 8:16 pm

So like passive influence is so legit a thing. We call it "bleed over" but it's so legit.

This past week, for example, we met our T in the office for the first time in months, so Angel could talk about the stuff he lived through. SUPER hard for him... he was angry, hurt, and terrified bringing this stuff up... and ALL WEEK LONG after that, we were in and out a ton, we had times where who ever was out would see or hear something (sometimes it didn't even need or have a trigger like this) and suddenly we'd be struggling not to scream or rage, or cry... Angel was in IMMENSE PAIN all week after the T.

It is super hard to go through that kinda stuff, and we expected this- but it was super hard to begin to go through still.

But yes, passive influence can be mild like feeling unexpectedly happy, sad, angry, etc... it can be more severe like suddenly overwhelming emotion... or even anxiety attacks- we have had periods of deep deep uneasiness causing pacing and anxiety, too- so absolutely can and DOES happen.

Best we can tell you is KEEP WRITING. KEEP COMMUNICATING. Whatever works best for your system to communicate, DO IT! Often as you feel comfortable and safe to do it. We journal, epic huge for us. It helps to understand these times when these passive things happen, and also to comfort that person (even if much later on) that everything was and is ok... that it WILL be. That is key to stopping them from happening, getting ppl comfortable and feeling safe and secure so that the like pain, fear, whatever isn't so overwhelming and dominating their existence. It's super hard, it takes time, and most of all system teamwork.

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Re: Co-conscious in the form of anxiety attacks?

Postby complicated87 » Fri Oct 02, 2020 5:44 am

Thanks so much, Pixie. I'm so sorry Angel and your system are having a very difficult week....I totally get those!! But I'm glad Angel got it out sometimes it can be so healing just to hear the words come from our own mouth...no matter how hard telling can be. Hugs if you want them and my best to Angel!

Journaling is big for me as well- also keeping a date log going as other users maybe even you have suggested to me and that has really helped me connect some dots.

What you described really makes sense. "Bleeding over" is kind of how the party excitement goes. I keep feeling like ooo I need to go to the store and buy some cute clothes for the party tonight....and then I'm like uhhhhh.....what party? Haha that is actually a kind of fun feeling but you know the anxiety is NOT! And also craving old self-medicating habits isnt fun as it just isnt something we like the body to do anymore. It isnt safe for the majority of us.

It almost feels like this part that is "bleeding over" thoughts and emotions is completely unaware of the rest of us. I just had the thought occur that maybe the anxiety attacks are from realizing not only the reality of life many years later but that someone else is "home" in that brain and has just felt everything with him or her. Knowing who I was during those time periods I ran from and pretended like I had zero traumas and a perfect life back 'home' and just created an extroverted life-of-the-party persona....it would have been extremely anxiety inducing to know I couldn't physically run from the 'others' or drown them in alcohol....I also lost a LOT of time to blackouts and not knowing where I had been or what I had done and why people were mad at me or why people said I'd been missing for days or weeks or months at times. Hmm...now I'M freaking out a bit!!
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Re: Co-conscious in the form of anxiety attacks?

Postby IainEtc » Wed Oct 07, 2020 8:29 am

Hi complicated87,

We just wanted to say it sounds like you are kind of switching but just not all the way. Like hanging up halfway through so everything feels not real but SOMETHING is happening and everything gets messed up. We just wanted to say it may be weird for the part that's not able to come out like they used to. They can be really lost too.

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When they say 'be yourself',
which one do they mean?
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Re: Co-conscious in the form of anxiety attacks?

Postby complicated87 » Fri Oct 09, 2020 7:22 am

Ian and Cody that's a great point.

Could be this alter wouldn't feel comfortable or welcome in my current lifestyle and that could cause the anxiety and the 'hang-up' as you put it.

Next time I feel a bleed through or the anxiety starting I'll try talking to the alter and letting them know they are welcome now and talk about how things have changed. Idk what else to do.

Thank you for that!
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