by spinningtops » Sat Dec 19, 2020 10:33 am
well i switched to a second therapist. it was a hard experience. i had given the therapist some input on how there was something I didn't like, which was whenever I complained they'd offer some 'positive,' way to look at the situation, which didn't feel validating to the pain I was in and just made me not want to share and I told her that and she said I should maybe look for another therapist, which was really sad, cause otherwise I liked her and already missed her even though it had only been about a month. Now I have another one and I feel very nervous, like some things feel similar, what if the same thing happens and I just never expected to deal with having to worry if I'd have to be rejected by a therapist... like i worry about rejection all the time with other people and that is partly why I finally have gone to seek treatment.
Also I could not find a DID therapist. that is annoying, cause in a way, many issues seem like are related to that and if I can't go into how there are different personalities that may feel differently then it seems like it's gonna be hard cause they misunderstand me, but I will just have to deal, and try to be as 'unified,' as possible. Anyways, one good thing about the therapy is I do feel healthier even just knowing that there will be someone there that will maybe (hopefully,) listen to me and hear me. I meet with them for the first time next week. |
I don't know if I mentioned this but I was wrong about the pain, it's not as serious as I had at first feared, I do get pain flare ups but they've been rare, and only really bad a couple days. So I guess I had panicked.
I couldn't talk to my husband today, which was a bit lonely. idk. sometimes he just seems uninterested so I left him be. I watched a show today.
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I am losing a lot of time every night this last week. I stay up after my kids are in bed and I look up and hours and hours often have passed, and I have no idea what I did in this time. which I guess is maybe a normal conundrum here, idk. but it's frustrating cause I have work to do at night, but lately I have had a hard time doing it.