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So happy I finally have money for therapy.

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Re: So happy I finally have money for therapy.

Postby Sarandipity » Sat Jun 27, 2020 4:04 pm

Remember life optimization? We optimised our life and it was good. Way better healing wise or even revenge wise (the best revenge is a life well lived) than when we did psychotherapy. Yes specialist DID therapy may be different but what is it we want it for?

Imo we'd want it really for life optimisation. Which we can do. We overall wouldn't see looking at the past as therapeutic at all. It'd be trauma. Again.

I vote we pay for the assessment as planned. Discuss the therapy after we get through the assessment.

Also I think overall its shock. Nobody expected to ever be able to pay for the assessment or wanted to. When someone in this system really wants something they do it, they save, they make it happen. So far we're closer to binning the idea than to making it happen except Sarah calling them and booking a zoom chat. So let her have the assessment... If it is just her who wants it. (Karen)
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Re: So happy I finally have money for therapy.

Postby Sarandipity » Sat Jun 27, 2020 4:54 pm

I think the problem has only been caused by the title saying therapy. We did all agree to an assessment. We didn't decide fully about therapy, that's still a discussion. Take the NHS stuff with inexperienced in DID trauma therapist or pay a woman I found in London who has experience of DID and works in the only NHS centre which the doctor said he'd put us on a waiting list for IF we do the trauma therapy after the waiting list for that.

Just to remind myself we agreed to assessment but therapy is still options - that's what we decided.

Also I started my own book. That's why I don't have a chapter in Batchos, I said I'm writing my own, like Beth is.

Karen.
Monte Carlo or Bust
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Batcho and Fortune (twins), Paul and Lilly,
No-one and Peter, Beth and Karen, Mandy and Mouse plus a seperate system of fragments including: rabit and others.
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Re: So happy I finally have money for therapy.

Postby MakersDozn » Sat Jun 27, 2020 7:51 pm

Sarandipity wrote:I think the problem has only been caused by the title saying therapy. We did all agree to an assessment. We didn't decide fully about therapy, that's still a discussion.


Totally understand. You're happy that you have money for therapy. But the choice is indeed ultimately up to you (collectively) whether you get an assessment only, an assessment and therapy, or neither.

Glad you have options.

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Re: So happy I finally have money for therapy.

Postby Sarandipity » Sun Jun 28, 2020 3:30 pm

Hi its Rose. I pay the bills so as soon as paying bill day came which came today instead of tomorrow for some reason I don't know and I looked at the bank account to pay the bills I guess you'd say I took control. I'd say suddenly money importance kicked in.

They put the money for the assessment aside but spent everything else except for enough to scrape by for the month. So I'm quite stressed. As usual. I'm always the one stressed out about the bills so it's nothing new.

I think we ought to go the NHS route. Waiting list, have trauma therapy and waiting list for the NHS assessment. Xxxx (outside person) has gone off on one at me because I said I'm not paying the assessment and would rather wait for the NHS.

1. Why be in a country with a health service if you don't use it.

2. The money would make our life easier generally and I wouldn't have to be so stressed about bills all the time and how to make it to the end of the month.

3. It's a piece of paper with some words on it, who cares. It won't change anything.

4. The person I want to know knows what's wrong with me I don't need the world to know.

Yeah maybe I feel shame about it and its less real all the time it's put off. While they don't label denial of it all is easier. That's true.

I jusr feel like I have kids who spend all the money and I'm the one trying to balance it all and I'd like to have less to worry about. But they would just spend it anyway.

On top of that the kitchen was a complete mess. There's food coming out of my ears - left overs of half eaten stuff plus a planned sandwich they bought the ingredients of and they want flap Jack's. I do just feel like a mother of my self. I was supposed to be here tomorrow after they paid the assessment tonight. It went wrong when the bill money went in early. I know that was their plan. Anyway now I have to reconcile within myself that money is going to be paid out that I disagree with before its paid out instead of after. Rose.

-- Sun Jun 28, 2020 3:33 pm --

MakersDozn wrote:
Sarandipity wrote:I think the problem has only been caused by the title saying therapy. We did all agree to an assessment. We didn't decide fully about therapy, that's still a discussion.


Totally understand. You're happy that you have money for therapy. But the choice is indeed ultimately up to you (collectively) whether you get an assessment only, an assessment and therapy, or neither.

Glad you have options.

MDs


Thanks MDs. Options is good but it's hard too because it creates choice which creates disagreement, which creates upset. And our outside significant person does not cope well with "I changed my mind" Mind change has always caused me problems but not so much upset an outside person before.

Thanks again for the support and understanding, Rose
Monte Carlo or Bust
Rose and Patrick
Batcho and Fortune (twins), Paul and Lilly,
No-one and Peter, Beth and Karen, Mandy and Mouse plus a seperate system of fragments including: rabit and others.
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Re: So happy I finally have money for therapy.

Postby Sarandipity » Tue Jun 30, 2020 8:36 am

It's resolved. It's took the edge off the argument. We are just having a dissociative assessment, not a full assessment for anything and everything so it's less money. That stopped Alot of the argument.

Some still don't want to do it but it's basic nerves now. Maybe this whole thing set Karen off, thats a separate issue. Sarah
Monte Carlo or Bust
Rose and Patrick
Batcho and Fortune (twins), Paul and Lilly,
No-one and Peter, Beth and Karen, Mandy and Mouse plus a seperate system of fragments including: rabit and others.
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Re: So happy I finally have money for therapy.

Postby Sarandipity » Fri Jul 03, 2020 7:49 am

I'm back to feeling good about this. I want the assessment. I'm still not decided about therapy but that can be decided after. The opinions I know of are:

1. It'll make life worse and bring up things that could stay buried.

2. It's necessary.

3. We could end up in therapy for years and that's worse than no therapy.

4. We ought to go to the police and report our parents. Without therapy we wouldn't be strong enough.

5. It's time consuming and energy draining. It'll limit our life.

6. It will eventually make our life better.

They're the opinions I know of. But they don't matter at the moment because the assessment we all agreed to and are happy about. The therapy quandary can be after. They might say we don't have DID or dissociation which would be a relief because that'd mean any memory of abuse is false. They could say anything so until we have crossed the assessment bridge there's zero need to worry about whether to have therapy or not.
Monte Carlo or Bust
Rose and Patrick
Batcho and Fortune (twins), Paul and Lilly,
No-one and Peter, Beth and Karen, Mandy and Mouse plus a seperate system of fragments including: rabit and others.
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Sarandipity
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