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When people ask for your opinion

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When people ask for your opinion

Postby Cyanred » Thu May 21, 2020 5:01 pm

Can you relate to this? Someone asks for your opinion, on your favorite music, what food you like or what your stance is on something and when answering I always feel like I’m lying because there’s always an alter who completely disagrees. I remember when I was younger my mom asked me what my favorite food was and at the time one of the younger alters was fronting and answered “mashed potatoes”. When my parents divorced I visited my mom once a week and every time I went there she would make mashed potatoes. The thing is that we are in a system of 23 alters and that alter was the only one who likes mashed potatoes and a couple alters even hated mashed potatoes, so when those fronted my mom would enthusiastically say “we’re eating mashed potatoes” and I’d be all “oooh great” XD. I now tend to give a vague answer, or give a middleground opinion that none of the alters disagree with but don’t necesarily agree with either. So if someone asks for my favorite food I say burrito’s because I know no alter dislikes it.

Cheers!
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Re: When people ask for your opinion

Postby SeveralCrows » Fri May 22, 2020 1:51 am

If it's something there's no common ground on in our system, we typically say we have a hard time choosing a favorite or that it depends on our mood. That's awful about the mashed potatoes!
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System currently being reconfigured. Please stand by.
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Re: When people ask for your opinion

Postby ArbreMonde » Fri May 22, 2020 8:02 am

We tend to say that "it depends on the mood". Same goes when people notice that our voice changes, our gender presentation changes, or how we do the make-up, how we do the hair, etc.

People who know us well but don't know we are multiple, know us for being eccentric and fluid. They told us a few times that they appreciate us because it's always a surprise to see how we look, sound, and what we enjoy, each time we meet.

Therefore, when we are asked what kind of music we like, we often end up giving a long answer akin to "depending on what I'm doing and the day's mood, I'll listen to either this, this, this, this, this, this, this...." and when people ask us if we like something, we anwer something like "this is pleasant/enjoyable, I sometimes like/love listening to/eating/doing it".

This way, everybody can feel included and it's not a lie either. Because sometimes the "I" likes it, sometimes the "I" does not.

Hope you find this answer interesting !

--Zami-- (and ~Theia~ close by)
Multiple system Dx autistic, depression, c-PTSD...

They/them: --Zami--
He/him: -X- or -David- | oOo van H. oOo | //Ulysses// | °Isaïa° | ((Wolf)) | {Envy} | #Uriel# | {Wrath} | .....
She/her: ~Theia~ | oOo Mrs. H. oOo | *Reyna* | ♥Lust♥ | .....

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Re: When people ask for your opinion

Postby complicated87 » Fri May 22, 2020 7:44 pm

Cyan red I Soooooooooo feel you on this!

The ONE food almost everyone likes in my system is pizza.....so I tend to eat that anytime I'm fighting over what to eat. When I'm majorly stressed... pizza.

I remember anxiety always when having to answer "favorite color" "movie" etc....especially because close friends would then buy me or make me something in the said color and I'd be like why is it green? And they'd say you said that was your favorite last week?

And now Zami.... you just took my breath away! Some parts of us are as confident and self aware as you are and I've had similar compliments paid to me but I don't think I embraced it.

What is "normal" anyway? Our interest shifts and that's a beautiful thing. We're often overwhelming people with all of the many interests and what they call 'talents'....I always saw it as I have to keep everyone happy inside haha.

I too frequently would say I'm a "mood-person." Some people are thrilled by our unpredictability....maybe those are our people!
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Re: When people ask for your opinion

Postby ArbreMonde » Sat May 23, 2020 6:29 am

complicated87 wrote:What is "normal" anyway? Our interest shifts and that's a beautiful thing. We're often overwhelming people with all of the many interests and what they call 'talents'....I always saw it as I have to keep everyone happy inside haha.

I too frequently would say I'm a "mood-person." Some people are thrilled by our unpredictability....maybe those are our people!


That's the spirit!

"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind dont matter and those who matter dont mind." Dr Seuss was right all along!

--Zami-- and ~Theia~
Multiple system Dx autistic, depression, c-PTSD...

They/them: --Zami--
He/him: -X- or -David- | oOo van H. oOo | //Ulysses// | °Isaïa° | ((Wolf)) | {Envy} | #Uriel# | {Wrath} | .....
She/her: ~Theia~ | oOo Mrs. H. oOo | *Reyna* | ♥Lust♥ | .....

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