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Family thinking I have 2 personalities

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Family thinking I have 2 personalities

Postby bellic007 » Thu May 21, 2020 3:25 pm

I am a self diagnosed did for over 7 years and now only my mother start to say I behave in two formats at different times. That she started to freak out a little bit because of my Mood swings. I verbally abused her one day and on th same day icstary to act like nothing happened. Actually it was not switching but I had depersonalisation to some extent because of some programming happened in my mind. I became extremely angry and call abusive words. And then I had no Sadness for what I did like I have my own internal programming I felt myself like a robot. A robot which was programmed by religion or something like that. It was so scary to outsider as wel as me. I started to freak out a little bit because I cannot anticipate what triggers my verbally abusing personality.
One thing that triggers my dissociation nowadays was spirituality programs I attend, they have rituals and I program many prayers and Chang's into my mind to control my mind and it moods. But it is making my Did/dissociation much worse. I can't get a correct sense of the passage of time or day or can able to understand my friends and all. I don't feel my friends as mine seems like I am so much away from them in distant places. They all appear so 2dimensional lacking Heart.
I feel so constrained or small. I need to take a Therapy from the psycologist I was seeing because it was nearly 4 months since I saw a therapist.
Dx Body Dysmorphic Disorder
Self diagnosed Dissociative Disorder
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Re: Family thinking I have 2 personalities

Postby MakersDozn » Fri May 22, 2020 10:44 pm

Hey, bellic, good to see you again.

Sorry that you had difficulty with your mother. Have you resolved that issue?

Maybe you could weigh the pros and cons of your spiritual activities and decide whether the benefits outweigh the triggers. One option might be to be more selective in how you participate, or how often.

Are you able to resume therapy with the psychologist during the pandemic? Is he or she doing online therapy sessions?

Hoping things get better for you soon.

MDs
Multiple self-dxed 1996. Body 58f. System of 47: 42 ♀, 5 ♂; 17 littles (7+under), 9 middles (8-11), 14 teens (12-17+), 5 bigs (18+up), + a formless yin/yang. Oldest member is 25.

Notable: Charity 25, Deborah 23, Drew 23f, Mary 23, Rachel 23, Laura 17.5, Allegra 17, Cass 17, shawn 16f.
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