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Can past alters re-invent themselves?

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Re: Can past alters re-invent themselves?

Postby KitMcDaydream » Fri May 22, 2020 7:09 am

ArbreMonde wrote:I'm glad I was able to help!

Actually I got the "front desk" idea from somewhere else (Kinhost maybe?). But it did resonnate strongly.

It's interesting to see that Daisy wants to stay "hidden" and "secret" while others are more out-going. A system is a really complex and diverse community!

Is it okay if I say "hi" to Daisy?

--Zami--


Yes Daisy says hi back she is giggling! Our system has agreed we are ok with mentioning members on this forum,(although all the names used on here are specifically for this forum and not the real names of any alter or the physical body).

I think as the body reached its 40's a part of us decided we had to know if we had a 'mental illness' or whether all our symptoms (ie the different characters, the ability to fantasize intensely) were purely the autism. But growing up in an era where such people were routinely drugged and locked up the 'inner system' felt we could not take the risk of going through official channels. it wasn't something we'd want everyone around us to know anyway, just for our own knowledge.

I think Daisy holds the memories of everything she did being mocked by other kids for example if one weekend she had played music in her bedroom and it could be heard outside by kids from her school passing, when she went to school Monday her choice of music would be mocked. They mocked the way she ran, walked, spoke everything I guess until Daisy felt she could not exist in the outside world as herself ever.

I think the autism compunded this along with the fact we were undiagnosed and received no support in how to deal with it, this only increased the hyper vigilance and made her more secretive so then she would only play music via headphones so no-one else could hear. She admired kids who signed cos they never had to have other kids making fun of their speech, people were intrigued by sign language back then as seeing it in public was rare, she admired kids in wheelchairs cos they didn't have to endure been made fun of when they walked or ran. I guess these dreams stayed with us longer because the emotional, social and moral development of the 'core self' was stunted by the undiagnosed autism for years.

She learnt from a young age that her choices were 'wrong' or 'not normal/not age appropriate' and to avoid been made fun of she developed alternate personalities basically sheep, copying other children, pretending they liked what ever was popular.

Trying to get through an entire school day without being bullied or made fun of became the daily goal,so I guess thats why the alters changed frequently when we were young, trying to find 'the one' who would be accepted or could pass for 'normal', whilst trying to cope with an extreme sound phobia. I guess in hindsight there's no wonder she shut down and welcomed the silence of deafness when it first came and is probably where the systems belief that having 'socially acceptable and cool disabilities' were the key to advancing.

Sorry that was a longer reply than I (Kit) was intending to write but Daisy wanted to feel 'someone on the outside' finally understood her!

Kit & Daisy
KitMcDaydream
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Re: Can past alters re-invent themselves?

Postby ArbreMonde » Fri May 22, 2020 4:45 pm

We can totally relate to what Daisy went through as a child. The way people react to us autistics is awful.

We see you, Daisy. And we understand you.

--Zami--
Multiple system Dx autistic, depression, c-PTSD...

They/them: --Zami--
He/him: -X- or -David- | oOo van H. oOo | //Ulysses// | °Isaïa° | ((Wolf)) | {Envy} | #Uriel# | {Wrath} | .....
She/her: ~Theia~ | oOo Mrs. H. oOo | *Reyna* | ♥Lust♥ | .....

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Re: Can past alters re-invent themselves?

Postby KitMcDaydream » Fri May 22, 2020 8:38 pm

ArbreMonde wrote:We can totally relate to what Daisy went through as a child. The way people react to us autistics is awful.

We see you, Daisy. And we understand you.

--Zami--


Daisy says "Thank you Zami :) "
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