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Re: Lilly

Postby Sarandipity » Wed Mar 25, 2020 11:48 am

Overlord and Shane. It's hard to read with a southern fairy shouting at you that you're a Jew. I am a Jew but also not. He attacked me so I magicked him backwards.

Just because Mr Men are made up doesn't mean you can go around shooting them Lilly.

I saw Paul got annoyed.

Shane's still loosing it because I called him a southern fairy but he started it.

Mandy isn't Paul and Lilly's daughter. I managed to read that bit. I want to read over Pat's stuff properly but Shane won't let me.

Now he's cursing at me for being a snitch. I might have to be a soldier personna to deal with Shane.

Ok so Mandy isn't Paul and Lilly's daughter. I think that was a lie the twins made up to protect the system as a whole.

Mandy was created at the top of Cheddar Gorge at the top of some steps they call the Hell steps. When the body and the twins were about 8 years old. They still exist, the hell steps in real life, it's a real place. Mandy was created by the twins because they realised all the terrible abuse the body and they were going through would most likely mean they would be incredibly messed up. They created Mandy how they imagined a normal 5 year old girl to be at the time. Which is why Mandy is quite sweet but a little spoilt. I was standing behind them when they did this. I was their witness.

Their idea at the time was that if they were really really messed up then Mandy would be basically normal and she would be able to take over and grow up and live a life. They also agreed with eachother that if their adult life was really terrible then they would walk back up the Hell steps and throw themselves off after they sat there and remembered all the trauma they went through. Because they also threw all the trauma upto that point over the Gorge. It's making me emotional now and I can still hear what they said to me at the time "what you getting upset for" I don't know when they created me. But I witnessed the creation of Mandy.

They then got worried recently that Mandy didn't count, that she's a construct because they created her and she wasn't created but I explained all the alters were or are basically constructs created by this mind. Mandy is as valid a part as any other. I made them promise at the time that they would not discard her because you can't create something and then not look after it. So far they still look after her.

They wove Mandy in to the internal life of Paul and Lilly but Mandy isn't their baby. Paul and Lilly's baby is a metaphor for something that happened, that has actually been dealt with and resolved externally, internally and emotionally.

They kept Mandy completely seperate from the system with them but they needed parts to feel connection to her so they wove her into Paul and Lilly's story.

Mandy is a creation, vampire like because she doesn't age. I don't know if she doesn't age because she can't or if the twins don't let her. Other parts age and grow but not Mandy which is why I liken her to a Vampire.

Shane's asking about himself. So Shane was a series of abuses. The twins couldn't deal with all of them which is when they did the Cheddar Gorge dump and created Mandy. But Shane is their "usual" type of coping. A part of the brain or memory or consciousness that lived horrendous abuses. Then what they do is make it so all that happened "in the past" ie before the body was born. So Shane was abused by the parents in the 1960's (even though body was not born till 1980's). But not his parents because the twins think it's better to be abused by non family members so at least parts have nice family. Shane's parents then left the UK and went to America. Shane was a difficult and disturbed child because if how he was abused and he joined the army. Then he accidentally killed children in the Vietnam war and killed himself and went to Hell. So in the twins idea of Hell he now deserved the abuse he suffered because he later killed innocents and himself and therefore is released from Hell, like he did the time before he did the crime. This puts a story around all the anger and emotional hurt Shane feels. It makes the memories Shane carries into a sealed unit, he has a consciousness, he believes his story and the twins have protected a fragment of the brain. They give Shane a mother and sisters he loves and cares about and wants to protect. Shane's anger then isn't at himself or his family, it's at an outside family, the twins parents. And Shane remains a good person. He's angry and had a rough time but still basically a good person.

All the way through the trauma and upset the twins have sought to maintain being able to be a good person. For them that's always what this has been about. When you're experiencing horrendous abuse in every aspect of life how can you remain basically a good person?

So they had a few ways of doing it. Throw memory away and create an ok part - Mandy. Section it off and create more acceptable stories that are easier to stomach but don't loose the essence of what happened.

Shane has just basically turned back into a naked little girl that's scared. "When you're in the Baba Yagas house do not ask questions you do not want to know the answer to"

Those parts serve no purpose other than to hold trauma. The ironic thing is that the parts they created not out of trauma but out of "wanting a mother" Rose "wanting a father" Patrick "wanting a chance to be a normal 5 year old girl" Mandy "wanting to be strong even knowing you were attacked" No-one "wanting to have love" Paul and Lilly "wanting to enjoy sex despite what happened" Karen "wanting to be a kind person" Beth

All those parts are the ones that grow, that get used to the body, that take root and go beyond their purpose and start to live. All the parts created by the abusers, they wither and become "the frightened child" once the illusions are torn down.

Then there's me. Sociopaths, psychopaths, narcissists can put on a mask. They have a personna they show the world. The twins saw this from very young. So instead of doing that they have me who has personnas. I take the personnas very seriously. They want lawyer, I read law books. They want teacher, I'm a friendly happy teacher. So even the horrible way sociopaths etc cover everything horrendous they do in their lives with a personna the twins turned that into something fun. And mostly I don't express it externally, it's like i put a hat on and take it off again, for them. It's much harder to look at yourself and analyse which is why they like me as a witness by the time they made Mandy. Because of the "if a tree falls in an empty forest does it make a sound" They were ironically in a forest, up steps aptly called the Hell steps looking over a gorge.

Who could analyze the twins, I don't know. I couldn't. I just know I would be psychotic if I was them.

Hope this helps,

The OL (Shane is no more, they have a sanctuary for trauma memory parts now please do not be concerned if reading this).

That's what I also wanted to say F you you abusive c***s You're $#%^ that has been created out of trauma, don't last as a part, it gets broken because you're broken. The bits created by self to survive and avoid being sick like you they last. So go f yourselves.

It seems Shane's essence is integrating in some way or something. It's a split - persona dissipated, the trauma of whatever was went through is gone with the other fragments and "Shane" is basically a f you survival emotion. So his essence is with us but not the concept of Shane, if that makes sense.

I don't want to take in this essence and I hope it can just dwell in the body and be there for whichever part is in the body... The twins said they are working on it.. done. I hope so.

Monte Carlo or Bust
Rose and Patrick
Batcho and Fortune (twins), Paul and Lilly,
No-one and Peter, Beth and Karen, Mandy and Mouse plus a seperate system of fragments including: rabit and others.
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