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Our new Journey thread (Ponyta)

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Our new Journey thread (Ponyta)

Postby Ponyta » Sun Mar 15, 2020 4:12 am

Hello, hopefully it's alright for me to make us a new thread.

Some things:

I'm curious if our system is the only one with multiple "worlds". I'm not sure what it's called, or what to call it. There seems to be many different worlds branching off of our "main" inner world. The only way to get to those areas is by having a special key. It's almost as if they are separate dimensions or something.

The "main" inner world is huge. It has several different areas of it's own, BUT that's not what I mean. These other "worlds" are separate. 2 of which we never knew about. We just found out a few days ago about 1 of those 2. Three guys came through the portal. Amy feels crazy regarding this.

Also, a lot of us believe this is what's throwing everything off balance. I mean, residents of the other "worlds" coming to our "main" inner world. We don't know if this is going to be good or bad. We are aware of one of those "worlds" once being part of our "main" one. We however don't know what's going to happen if they come back together. There's a lot of shaking going on (at times) in at least 2 of those other worlds. It's even occurring in ours (We're uncertain if it's happening at the same time). Good or bad, we don't know.

Amy is drained of all her energy. We're uncertain what is going on. None of us want to integrate. Although we're aware of the other "worlders" welcome to the idea of just our land uniting. I, myself, have the feeling all these worlds used to be connected to our world, at one point in time. So maybe this could work out? We'll have to see.

We're just extremely worried about our world right now. 2 of the 4 other worlds were destroyed at one point. 1 was fully repaired. The 2nd one is in progress. We're worried something bad could happen to ours. We sure hope not. We're mainly worried because of the bad shaking.
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Re: Our new Journey thread (Ponyta)

Postby Sarandipity » Sun Mar 15, 2020 3:45 pm

Yes. There is a main world and two other worlds that I know of. The twins have their own world. The overlord had his own world. After the recent crisis Mandy drew a picture of the twins coming through a portal and the overlord on his planet but in the sky of the main world.

It seems like the twins come in and out through a portal and the Overlord is consistently in our world and the body now.

I don't know about other alters but as far as I know other than fragment parts of just memory the twins and the overlord lived alone but the overlord had personnas and the twins the ability to create new parts. Seems, I'm not 100%
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Re: Our new Journey thread (Ponyta)

Postby Ponyta » Tue Mar 17, 2020 6:15 pm

Thank you Sarandipity! :)



How we are right now

Feeling very sad. Our T canceled our last appointment. Who knows if next appointment will be canceled too or not. Probably. Mentioned something about talking on the phone. That's majorly out of the question. I'm beyond terrified to talk on the phone. Probably due to what happened in our past. So now we don't have one right now. UGH! We really needed to talk today too about something. We are "fine" (not in trouble), but we really needed to talk about something. Sad. :(
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Re: Our new Journey thread (Ponyta)

Postby Ponyta » Thu Mar 19, 2020 11:30 pm

Possible trigger warning (I don't think one is needed......but just in case.....due to wording)

I was wondering about something.....maybe only I.....or someone in our system can answer this......BUT I'm not sure why this this. No one seems to know.....unless they aren't saying anything.

I'm a female......but yet I hang out with the males.....in our Inner world (system)......way more than the other females. In fact.......I know A LOT more about the guys.....than any of the females. In fact a lot of the females......I only know their name. I seem to avoid the females for some reason.....almost as if I'm scared of them.

BUT......this is what gets me.......I'm beyond terrified to be around males in the Outer world (due to my past). So why would it be switched around like this?

Wouldn't it make sense.... if it would be the same way in the inner world? I don't understand. Why would I prefer to hang out with the guys more? Why would I avoid the females? I just don't understand this.

Could there be something I don't know? Maybe it's something as simple as what I know the females did to me in the past (Outer world)......BUT......thinking about this.......even that doesn't make sense. The males (in the outer world) treated me even worse.


I don't understand this. Our old T......before we got a new one.....claimed that I knew the answer to that. I have NO clue. This is really bothering me for some reason. Probably because I really want to get to know the females better.......it's just......I'm scared......and I don't understand why.

Now come to think of it......there are two females that I'm getting closer to. That I'm not scared to hang out with......BUT.....they're not human.
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Re: Our new Journey thread (Ponyta)

Postby MakersDozn » Fri Mar 20, 2020 6:07 pm

Ponyta wrote:I'm a female......but yet I hang out with the males.....in our Inner world (system)......way more than the other females. In fact.......I know A LOT more about the guys.....than any of the females. In fact a lot of the females......I only know their name. I seem to avoid the females for some reason.....almost as if I'm scared of them.

BUT......this is what gets me.......I'm beyond terrified to be around males in the Outer world (due to my past). So why would it be switched around like this?

Wouldn't it make sense.... if it would be the same way in the inner world? I don't understand. Why would I prefer to hang out with the guys more? Why would I avoid the females? I just don't understand this.


Maybe the innerworld is the reverse of the outerworld to give you a chance to have relationships with males inside when it doesn't feel safe to have relationships with outside males. So you could gain confidence in your inside relationships first, and when you're ready, take a chance on the outside.

Does that make sense?

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Re: Our new Journey thread (Ponyta)

Postby Ponyta » Tue Mar 24, 2020 7:11 pm

Thank you.....MDs! That makes a lot of sense.....and seems quite possible.


How we are doing right now:

Not good. I don't feel like writing much.....feeling drained.....but I need to write some. So our therapy has been canceled for who knows how long. Just lovely....being that it happened right when we're having a lot of issues again. :(

I'm not sure what is going on. The inner world is extremely blurry. If Weirdo is telling me the truth.....he lifted the partial block a few days ago. Well.....it still feels as if I'm being blocked.....but he claims no one has any block on me. That's concerning. Now the weird thing is.....I can see the "new" guys crystal clear. All of my inner friends are blurry......and extremely hard to see.

I'm sure there must be some reason for this.

Anyway......there are conflicts again. Also something new in that aspect.......even two of the protectors were having a "conflict" with each other. Luckily......I managed to solve that problem.

There seems to be a lot of tension lately. Blaze is really upset about our T mentioning the telephone. According to Blaze.....he left it slip out.....something about the telephone is a trauma to him/us. I can't ask him for any more details.....he DOESN'T want to talk about it.
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Re: Our new Journey thread (Ponyta)

Postby TheGangsAllHere » Tue Mar 24, 2020 8:40 pm

Hi Ponyta,

I'm sorry things are so hard right now. Does your T have the ability to do video sessions? Maybe if you can see them as well as hear them, it won't be as difficult as being on the phone. It's also important for them to be able to see you, so can you ask about that? Maybe you can email to ask, if you don't like calling. I don't think it's ok for your therapist to just cancel sessions.
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Re: Our new Journey thread (Ponyta)

Postby Ponyta » Tue Mar 31, 2020 1:17 am

TheGangsAllHere wrote:Hi Ponyta,

I'm sorry things are so hard right now. Does your T have the ability to do video sessions? Maybe if you can see them as well as hear them, it won't be as difficult as being on the phone. It's also important for them to be able to see you, so can you ask about that? Maybe you can email to ask, if you don't like calling. I don't think it's ok for your therapist to just cancel sessions.



Thank you! We found out that they are offering video sessions. We've been thinking about it. A bunch of the guys are not trusting of this however. Maybe though, we still might give it a try.



=======================================================

How we are:

Well, I'm not really sure how to describe how we feel. Amy is having serious issues regarding "feeling as if she's losing her mind".

A lot of us have gone "missing". A lot of us are depressed, but we're hanging in there. It's just, I don't know, really hard for us lately. Amy isn't able to see us as clear as she used to. At least she still can hear us. Weirdo believes someone might be trying to block her, but according to him, it's not any of the protectors.

It's a mess. I'm not sure what to do. At least some of us found a video game we enjoy playing together. That helps us feel a tad better, still however, we really need to figure out how to come back together again, as-in, spend more time with each other. It's almost as if we're all in quarantine in our inner world.

You know what? That best sums up what's happening. For some reason, the "missing" ones are apparently quarantining. Why this is, is unknown. A lot of them were self- isolating for quite some time, then they began to show up, until the outer world problems showed up. We're not sure if they're quarantining because of that, or if they're so depressed that they don't want to bother anyone.

There are some who are giving Amy a hard time. We're unsure at this time who they are. Just want to mention, our dungeon is empty at this time. Amy had a talk with the protectors. They all agreed, since those troublemakers apologized to her, it would be better for them to be released. We do know they're not responsible for the current issues.

The overall lack of energy is exhausting. We haven't been getting much sleep lately due to various reasons. One being, at least one of us is staying up REALLY late playing our video game. Another is, even if we try to go to sleep "earlier", a bunch of us have a hard time actually falling asleep. Too many worries lately. Also, both Amy and myself have been having awful dreams. I haven't talked to the others regarding this matter, but it's possible they too may be affected by that.

We're not sure what to do. I just know we're feeling exhausted right now. :(


Oh, and Rose is very upset. She didn't really garden last year because she was extremely depressed. She actually was looking forward to gardening this year (she even bought some new tools in January), now she can't. At least she can garden in our world. She did destroy her beautiful gardens (in our world) when she was extremely depressed. She did so because she claimed she was done gardening forever. Now she's fixing them back up again (she claims, "even better than before"). I didn't see it yet, but hopefully she'll show me. She's just upset she can't mulch our outer world gardens, or get new flowers. Although she also enjoys our new video game as well. She's planting tons upon tons of flowers in it. LOL. It looks pretty. I'm glad that helps make her happy. :)
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Re: Our new Journey thread (Ponyta)

Postby sleepingwolf » Tue Mar 31, 2020 7:59 pm

We just wanted to add that we totally relate, and totally know what you mean about the different 'worlds'.

We thought there were around 90 of Us, until around 2 months ago, when we kind of realised that there are five 'worlds', each with around 90-100 personalities in each, and so our 'world' was just one of five! It kind of blew our mind... but also kind of made sense...

We're kind of ok with it now. It just is that way, and it works ok. We need to respect our other 'worlds', but we don't live in them. Each world deals with itself, in a way. Our important thing is not to start 'meddling' and trying to think we know best! Especially Us hosts...! We can think we're 'know it alls'... :D

Good luck with it all!

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Re: Our new Journey thread (Ponyta)

Postby Ponyta » Mon Apr 27, 2020 10:12 pm

Ok....so this sounds totally crazy to me. For some reason.....I feel totally out of it. I feel as if I just woke up from some kind of deep sleep.....BUT....yet I wasn't sleeping......Unless there are two of me or something. Well....I do know there is one who looks like me. I was out a lot more than I was for a while. But some thing weird happened. I feel as if I have no clue when I wrote last.......or what I wrote. I'll have to look at my "notes" from my last writing later. Feeling very weak. Don't have energy to type much.

Feel really weird.....but yet I know I'm myself. I don't think anyone is co-con with me right now.....but I could be wrong. There's some kind of fog again. I don't know what's going on. Even more are showing up.....from different "worlds". The more I find out the crazier I feel. Don't know if it's denial or what. Found a picture someone drew of two new ones. That's news to me. Didn't know there was someone by that name. The other name was "floating" for a while.....but didn't know who there were.....until now. Weird thing is....supposedly I drew the pics......I only thing I can think of then is that someone is "blanking me out". Maybe unintentionally.

So far I know of 6 separate worlds (5 branching off of the "main" one). I think they were originally connected together.....but broke apart for some reason......only because one of them knows for sure that they were. I have a feeling there's a 7th....but as of right now....only a feeling based on what I saw (someone tried to communicate to me....but I'm not sure if they are from one of the known worlds.....or a totally different one. I could hear them from distance.....but they couldn't hear me....for some reason).

Some from those worlds are coming into the "main" one. Not sure why some worlds are....but a lot seem to want help. At least one is causing trouble. :(

I don't understand it. Things were beginning to get better.....now....I'm not so sure. Feeling really out of it. A lot are missing again. I feel as if I have no clue what happened since I last wrote.....whenever that was. I'll have to look....but too weak right now. UGH. :(

We feel more numb than anything.
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