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Our new Journey thread (Ponyta)

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Re: Our new Journey thread (Ponyta)

Postby Ponyta » Fri Jan 15, 2021 3:51 am

Wasn't going to write again today, but I must note this:

Terrible feeling of doom again. (Every time it happens:) It always comes with feelings of extreme sadness on top of the doom feeling. Usually then followed by a wave of extreme fear. Not looking forward to this. Last night was really bad, and I feel the scare coming.

The worse part is, I have no clue what triggers this, other than the guy I saw last night (inner world). AND he is beyond scary. I thought I had a scary one before, well he's a thousand times worse.

How do I control this extreme feeling of fear? He's deliberately scaring me. Possibly the others too, but I'm not sure about that.
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Re: Our new Journey thread (Ponyta)

Postby Ponyta » Sat Jan 16, 2021 1:01 am

So someone was going to try to scare me in my dream last night, I heard them coming and it was beginning to get scary. I had to laugh though, someone else yelled at them (told them to leave me alone). They also yelled to tell me I'm dreaming. The dream completely lost all scare factor then. Thank you to whoever told me that. :)

Also things may be settling down a little again, hopefully anyway. The protectors found the guy who was terrorizing me. Doom's in the dungeon right now, because of what he was doing. Once he calms down a little, I plan on trying to talk to him (and maybe even help get him out of there, that is, if he agrees not to terrorize me like he was, And ONLY if he agrees to make things right with Griffin. He did something to Griffin that was completely uncalled for.

Maybe V (his friend) can help me, V doesn't seem that bad. Although V was helping him scare me apparently. Still he claims it wasn't his idea to scare me, and definitely not his idea to upset Griffin. Griffin is extremely mad at both of them though.

I don't know how long it's going to take Doom to calm down though. I hear he's been raging all day (in the dungeon). That's clear that he does hold a lot of hurt. But with the circumstances he must be in the dungeon right now (he was acting way too bad). AND In a way, it's also for his own safety (due to how angry Griffin is with him).

It's my job as the peacekeeper to help solve this problem. I just don't know how to get him to calm down. Unless I can make a deal with V. He did do something too that will get him thrown in the dungeon, but maybe if I can get him to help me, then maybe I can prevent him from being thrown in there. It's worth a try.

And if I manage to explain that V had nothing to do with what Doom did to Griffin, then maybe Griffin won't be so angry with V. Although I must question V though. I'm not 100% certain he had nothing to do with that (I want to know the truth before saying anything). Due to some evidence the protectors found. I'm also not ruling out Doom doing that too though, due to how he was acting. For all I know, maybe V is scared of Doom his self. I have to question him. If he is, hopefully he will tell me since Doom isn't able to listen in now.
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Re: Our new Journey thread (Ponyta)

Postby Ponyta » Sun Jan 17, 2021 3:56 am

Well, Doom escaped the dungeon last night. Not sure what else to say on that other then he's still extremely mad. He seems to have NO problem with the females, EXCEPT our host (he has a problem with her). He's also mad at all the protectors, EXCEPT the "Caretakers" it seems. He seems to have no problem at all with them.

The protectors and our host are all paired together (in at least twos) right now. The protectors have no clue where he went, but our host said she can feel him lingering.
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Re: Our new Journey thread (Ponyta)

Postby Ponyta » Sun Jan 17, 2021 4:25 am

Any ideas on how to reach a Shadow dragon (in inner world)?
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Re: Our new Journey thread (Ponyta)

Postby Ponyta » Mon Jan 18, 2021 4:36 am

Horrible feeling again. :(
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Re: Our new Journey thread (Ponyta)

Postby TheGangsAllHere » Mon Jan 18, 2021 5:06 am

I'm sorry you're feeling bad, Ponyta.
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Re: Our new Journey thread (Ponyta)

Postby Ponyta » Mon Jan 18, 2021 6:19 pm

Thank you, TheGangsAllHere! :)
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Re: Our new Journey thread (Ponyta)

Postby Ponyta » Fri Jan 22, 2021 1:18 am

Dissociating worse than ever. Even Dissociating in the inner world or something (I don't know, all I know is, I miss either half or all of what a lot of insiders try to tell me). I hate having to ask them to repeat theirself a lot. Some get mad if I ask them to keep repeating what they said, and I feel terrible doing that, even if they don't get mad. I don't know what is wrong.

Can't concentrate good at all. :(
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Re: Our new Journey thread (Ponyta)

Postby ArbreMonde » Fri Jan 22, 2021 6:11 pm

# I hope things will get better soon. Sending moral support!

__
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Multiple system Dx autistic, depression, c-PTSD...

he/him | she/her | they/them

Active system members {this is a sub-system}:
oOo van Hohenheim | oTo Trisha | & Urielle {~ Theia|# Uriel} | - X (also answers to: Solomon, David, Scar) | // Ulysses | ♥ Lust | {Pride|Wrath} | -- {Zami}

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Re: Our new Journey thread (Ponyta)

Postby Snaga » Sat Jan 23, 2021 12:52 am

Hugs, if wanted.
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Tell someone you love them today, for Life is short. But scream it at them in Klingon, for Life is also terrifying and confusing.

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Let it go.
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