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Our new Journey thread (Ponyta)

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Re: Our new Journey thread (Ponyta)

Postby sleepingwolf » Sat Sep 05, 2020 4:00 pm

Ponyta and All,

We've read your posts and whats been going on for you, it sounds really tough, but go you All too, awesome for making moves!

We're so sorry that you feel upset and angry, it makes total sense.

Sending peace, positivity and reassuring vibes your way, to you All...


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Re: Our new Journey thread (Ponyta)

Postby spinningtops » Sat Sep 05, 2020 8:37 pm

I'm sorry to hear things have been so rough, sending positivity to you too.
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Re: Our new Journey thread (Ponyta)

Postby Ponyta » Mon Sep 28, 2020 7:24 pm

Thank you all for your kind words. We appreciate them. :)

------------------

Things aren't going well for us at all. I don't know what is wrong. It is connected to our last T, I know that for sure. Things were getting worse with them, and then we quit. We still are looking for a new one. We're on a wait list with one.

Well, now, EVERYTHING is worse. I know it was triggered due to our last T (it was already beginning then, before we quit seeing them).

Well now, it's quiet. The inner world is so blurry, sometimes all I can see is blackness. When I can manage to get a blurry picture, only (if I'm lucky) will I see at least 1 of them. Everyone is isolated, well, I'll say 99% of us.

I feel beyond horrible. Like our brain turned to mush. Can't concentrate too good. Losing time horribly again. It's almost like all of our progress that we made has turned to dust. It's almost as if I never even met them. I mean, back to how bad it was on day one of discovering that I have DID.

I tried talking to a bunch of them. I know they hear me (just a feeling I have), but they aren't replying. Only about 3 of them will reply to me. I feel awful. I feel like I did something wrong. Why are they avoiding me?

I understand that they all are depressed. Maybe they don't want to worry me, but by not talking to me (especially not being able to at least see them), is making me worry worse than ever. Plus things were getting better before our last T messed everything up.

The merges are splitting apart. I know, because I saw a bunch of the guys (about 3 weeks ago) who originally merged with someone else. Everything (all progress) seems to be falling apart.

I don't know what is wrong.

Well, one of the guys admit that it had to do with our last T. He apologized to me. He said that everyone needs some time alone. He told me that they haven't even been talking to him.

So things are really bad. We're all sad. It's even worse being isolated from all of them (well, except for a few exceptions).

Any ideas to help with this situation?
I respect that they need time alone. I just want to figure out how to let them know that I still care about them. Maybe they can hear me (like I feel they can), or maybe they can't. I don't know. I do know though, that it takes a long time to even get one of them (who's still close to me) to answer.

No one wants to reply to my writings either. :( I feel it's all my fault.
There are A LOT of us: 140+.

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Re: Our new Journey thread (Ponyta)

Postby ArbreMonde » Tue Sep 29, 2020 6:40 am

It is not your fault. I am sure of it. Like you said, things started going downhill with the last T therefore it is somewhat their fault.

Your headmates might not reply because they cannot access to the front or because something keeps them from being able to talk back to you. The merges might be coming appart, not because things "become worse" but because it is more or less temporarily needed to be appart for a while again. After all, we are many because it is easier to deal with everyday life this way. If you are all going through a difficult time, you might need to be un-merged again, to deal with the difficult time.

Since you know what causes the issue (the T messing with you) it is a very useful information in order to start to make things better again. You know what went wrong. It means that you can think about how to make things right.

I am sure that you will find a solution out of this mess.

oOo van H. oOo
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Going through a reconfiguration process. Present host: oOo van H. oOo (he/him)

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