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Our new Journey thread (Ponyta)

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Re: Our new Journey thread (Ponyta)

Postby Ponyta » Fri Jul 24, 2020 10:17 pm

Thank you #Uriel# and Yanni (and All of the Tribe)! We greatly appreciate your replies, and kind words! :)

Sorry it took a while to reply.
-------------------------

We're not doing so good right now. Something happened in the outer world that, I believe, traumatized us even more. We're okay. Everything overall is fine , it's just we have another fear now. :( Well one of us (a Little) was always scared of it, now after what happened, we're all terrified. It seems that way anyway.

We haven't been feeling like writing about it yet. We also haven't been feeling like doing much now. Very depressed. I don't know how to get over this fear now. :( We always were able to comfort the Little about it. Now, well, yeah, we're scared.

We don't really want to write about it on here either, because it scared us so bad. We don't want to risk triggering others.
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Re: Our new Journey thread (Ponyta)

Postby IainEtc » Sat Jul 25, 2020 12:16 am

Hi Emma,

You don't have to tell anything you don't want to but I want you to know that we're sorry you got hurt. That sucks!

Iain
Iain - 14, Colin - 17, Evan - 7, Cody - 16, Raven, & Host - the adult out front

When they say 'be yourself',
which one do they mean?
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Re: Our new Journey thread (Ponyta)

Postby Ponyta » Sat Jul 25, 2020 8:47 pm

Thank you Iain! We greatly appreciate your concern! :)


-------------------

Something haywire was going on with our inner world last night. Probably due to the stress of what happened (in the outer world), I don't know. Unless it has to do with releasing Psycho (Like we all agreed on).

Something made most of my inner friends act weird last night though. Strangely, I know it wasn't Psycho. Psycho in fact tried to warn us about something, but I have no clue what he was trying to say.

I'm kinda creeped out by this whole thing. My inner friends apologized to me. They don't know what happened. It was almost like something was controlling them. There was this black "mist" that crept into the building, and then they acted strange. I must note that black mist looks strangely familiar. I know I saw it before.

It surrounded Gabe though, and he wasn't affected. He did say it tried to latch on to him though. I don't know what that meant. He told me to cover my face when it comes near.

Yes. I know now. I saw it before. Many years ago, in a dream. It acted the same way then. That's scary. I don't know why. Maybe the aspect of that dream now being in the inner world. Almost like the dream is happening now.

I'm seriously creeped out by the inner world now. My inner friends feel horrible. They keep apologizing to me. I told them it wasn't their fault. Gabe said something about the Shadow Realm leaking into the "main" inner world now. I don't know what's going on.

It's interesting how it had no effect on Gabe and a few others. It seems it only targeted those who have some kind of "unhealed" hurt, or something. I mean, Mary was right there. It didn't even come near her. Well it tried, but there was some kind of invisible wall, or something that stopped it. Mary is the only one (we know of) who was protected from our painful past. Nothing bad ever happened to her.

As of right now, everything seems fine, in the inner world. I just hope whatever happened last night, doesn't happen again. Oh, almost forgot to mention, I began to get a bad headache when all of that was going on. As soon as my inner friends, "snapped out of it", the headache went away immediately. Strange.
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Re: Our new Journey thread (Ponyta)

Postby Ponyta » Sun Jul 26, 2020 8:36 pm

I don't know what is going on. Daylight, everything seems normal (in the inner world). Nighttime, that black fog-like stuff comes. It took over a couple of my friends again last night. It apparently is smart.

I asked it to leave my friends alone. I said that I would like to talk to whoever is "behind it". The fog left. I'm not sure where it went, but it disappeared. Maybe to give someone the message? I have no clue.

I do know I feel crazy.


It's strange this is happening now. I wonder if it has anything to do with the outer world, or just a coincidence.
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Re: Our new Journey thread (Ponyta)

Postby ArbreMonde » Mon Jul 27, 2020 3:08 pm

You are NOT crazy, that I am sure of it. But it is quite puzzling and I understand that you feel anxious about it.

I really hope that you find soon what it means what it is and how to stop it!

--Zami--
Multiple system Dx autistic, depression, c-PTSD...

he/him | she/her | they/them

Active system members: oOo van Hohenheim | oTo Trisha | & Urielle | - X | // Ulysses | ♥ Lust | Sub-system: {Pride|Wrath} | ?? Zami ??

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Re: Our new Journey thread (Ponyta)

Postby Ponyta » Tue Jul 28, 2020 12:59 am

Thank you Zami! We greatly appreciate your kind words! :)

---------------------
I don't know. So now I met another guy today (inner world). He wears all red. I feel that has a meaning (don't know why), but I have yet to figure that out. I tried to walk near him, to say "Hi". He told me to stay away. He said he does not trust me coming close to him. I don't understand. I respected his wishes though.

For some reason, this guy reminds me of Blaze (in some ways). I know he's not though. Blaze rolled his eyes. I don't know why.

Some weird stuff is going on. I mean, with this black fog, and now him showing up. I'm honestly creeped out. Especially by what this guy said.

Trigger warning
Mention of Dream stuff (Some Scary Stuff)


So. I can remember a dream I had years ago. This guy (wearing all red) was in that dream. I remembered. I asked him what is going on. He said it is happening now. As in, that dream, is happening (in the inner world). I didn't think that was possible. Maybe that dream was showing something in the future (inner world)? I have no clue. I just know, he said it's happening now.

I do remember that dream was strange. It didn't have any ending. I only saw the beginning of it. I also saw "shadow creatures". They were coming for me. A whole army of them. And WAIT A MINUTE! Army? I remember being told an army was coming for me (months ago), BUT they never showed up. Is that the army?

This guy in red wants to help me though. In fact, in the dream, he tried to help me. That is, before I had to run away from those creatures.
End Trigger Warning



Question for "my" insiders:

What are those creatures though? Plus my real question is, are they actually coming, or is someone thinking that is going to happen (but it isn't.) Please let me know. Thank you! I'm wondering if someone is playing some kind of mind trick.



Also have no clue why there was something in our inner world that resembled a Darksaber (from Star Wars). We used to watch that years ago though.
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Re: Our new Journey thread (Ponyta)

Postby sleepingwolf » Tue Jul 28, 2020 7:51 pm

We just wanted to say we've read your stories and we wish you all the very best of luck with things. We're sorry you had some high outer world stress, we hope you can feel better from it soon.

It sounds great that you can remember your dreams and work with them so well, we always think that is a great thing to do, to learn lots of stuff!

Wishing you all the very best and we hope you can all find some moments of peace and relaxation.

Sending peaceful vibes your way (to you all)


Pastella
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Re: Our new Journey thread (Ponyta)

Postby Ponyta » Tue Jul 28, 2020 8:08 pm

Thank you so much Pastella! Your kind words mean a lot to us. We appreciate them. :D
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Re: Our new Journey thread (Ponyta)

Postby Ponyta » Wed Jul 29, 2020 10:43 pm

We are so BEYOND agitated right now. UGHHHHH! I, well we (a bunch of us are here right now), thought things with our T was getting better. I'm not so sure now.

How hard is it to understand? When we say we don't know the answer to something, we don't know. And if we really do know (like our T claims someone knows the answer), somehow, we don't know that we know that right now. I don't even think I worded that right. I could care less right now though. Just very upset with our T.

So here's the thing. Our T claims we don't talk. We try to talk. We just don't know what to say a lot of times. So our T asks us questions. Questions which seem irrelevant to us. We try to answer them. The thing is- half of those questions we don't know the answer to. Our T keeps going on about "Oh yes you do. One of you knows. Send the one out who does know." Uh yeah. WE DON'T KNOW! And if there is someone who does know- WE HAVE NO CLUE who it is. Our world is huge. We know we didn't meet everyone yet. We tried telling our T that, to no avail.

Things are NOT going good with this T. If you thought that was bad, it gets worse.

A lot of venting below. It is very upsetting stuff below.


Bad Trigger Warning

Due to other stuff our T said. It really upsets us- So yes- this is very triggering.


Very, very, very upsetting stuff.



Our T keeps claiming that something far worse happened to us- than what we are saying. It makes us question it at times- BUT we all are positive nothing (like our T is claiming) happened. Our T acts like we blanked it out. Well- our file room logged everything. NOTHING at all (regarding that) is in that room. There's only one thing close to it- BUT we already brought that up. Our T refuses to believe it. Keeps saying our system is so complex for a reason. To hide the secret. WHAT SECRET!!!! Nothing happened like what our T is claiming. Plus the protector (in charge of the file room) has searched EVERY folder. He has access to the entire file room. We know what we are talking about.

Plus talk about mixed information. Then our T goes to say- only we know what happened. Well yeah- but you won't listen to us. Followed by (what we wrote up above- regarding not knowing the answers). Then our T throws it in our face that we have a file room that recorded everything. Yes- yes we do. BUT it only recorded stuff that happened in the Outer world. Not the inner world. We do have another room that holds some things that happened in the inner world- but it's "not very detailed" (as in "public"). It is mainly a secure area for holding personal journals. Only certain people (who are using that room), have access to their own storage area. No one- except the ones who wrote them- know what's in them. BUT like I said- that is only about their own personal inner world lives. Nothing to do with our MAIN file room.

Are we supposed to know when our inner world was created? Are we supposed to know- when and why other worlds (in our inner world) formed? I mean- we know why they did- just not exactly when.

There's a whole list of stuff we don't know the answers to. Our T insists we do in fact know. Also can our host make things appear out of thin air? We are positive our inner world doesn't work like that. We know how our inner world works- and our T claims that we aren't right. What!? Like our T claims we- well our host- can pull stuff out of thin air- and even make stuff. Our T says Emma (our host) made our whole world- including us. WHAT! Emma is taking our side. She says that's not true at all. Emma believes we're all equal. In fact- she doesn't even want to talk to our T now- because she feels our T thinks she's the "main" one. As in- the only true owner of our body. Emma is enraged by that. She came out and told our T what she thought. She told our T- We ALL have equal rights to the body. She said she is no better than anyone else. Plus- Emma said she doesn't even think she is the "so-called" main one. She thinks it's someone else- if- she said- if there really is one.

There's even more. BUT we're too upset right now. Just making ourselves more angry.


-Signed Emma (Bandit, Weirdo, and a few others)
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Re: Our new Journey thread (Ponyta)

Postby Ponyta » Thu Jul 30, 2020 1:54 am

Sadly- I think we'll need to change T's again. However- we know we're probably not going to be able to find one. That's a huge reason why we're with this one so long. We don't know what to do. We're very stressed out regarding this entire matter.

-Weirdo


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