Teens can you help our teens connect with therapy?

Hi,
Will let Katy who is one of our 14 year olds write.

I hate therapy. I don't want to go. Our therapist is trying to make us go when we don't want to. She doesn't listen to us and we can't tell her to shut up because the older ones are scared that we will upset her. But she talks soooooooo much and I can't listen to her. I can't connect with her. I hate reading and writing, and I hate listening. We've started going through this all before. We had a lovely social worker and she helped us write things down that were going on in our head. We've written diaries and we've done artwork. But we don't like this therapist, she doesn't get us. When we get angry she shrugs it off and says its ok.....so she's not listening when we are getting angry, she's not acknowledging we are angry so someone else takes over because we can't stay out for long around her because she just doesn't get us

How can we help Katy and our other teens with therapy. We're starting to feel that maybe it just won't work with this therapist, we've been doing it for 5 months now and we have only a few times been able to open up to her about things. So teens - any ideas on how we can help Katy with therapy. I dont mean just going to therapy. There are things we can do on our own like buying her something to paint to express her feelings. But ideally we want something we can say to our therapist can we try X. We do kind of do artwork....but it is hit and miss when we do it, and sometimes we do really well at the beginning of the session expressing things, but then our thearpist spends the other half hour just talking at us, and it drives us absolutely mad.

Oh, and she painted her therapy room 2 walls are dark grey, the chairs and dark grey, the furniture is grey aaaaarrrrrrrrgggggggghhhhhhhhh where has all colour gone to calm us down and make us feel safe

Couple things come to mind.

First thing, why's the T talking so much? T's job is to listen, not talk. If it was us, we wouldn't put up with that. We're paying the T to listen, not to talk. If we wanna be talked at, we can call the mother, or just turn on the tv.

Obviously the T's gonna talk sometimes, but half the session's BS. Sometimes we need our T to prompt, question, and give advice. But most of the session, they're supposed to be listening. Otherwise they aren't getting to know you and how you tick.

That's a problem for all of you, not just Katy. But that's maybe the first thing to deal with. It means you gotta standup to the T which is hard. But its part of the deal. T's dont know they're doing something wrong unless you tell them.

Not sure what to do about the depressing grey room. only thing I can think of is bring some colour. Get like a flashy colourful shawl or wrap or whatever its called. Sarong? One of those things you can wear ,then pull it off and its like a blanket.

Maybe you can bring something Katy would enjoy. Handheld video game? phone game? Paint app on the phone? Whatever can maybe keep her focused and present, something a little distracting, but not too distracting. So she can talk while she's focused on the other thing.

Eg. lately Viola's been bringing her cat toy to therapy, she literally sits and fidgets with it through the entire session, but it keeps her focused and present. She's 17 btw, so only a little older than Katy.

You can't really force someone to talk at therapy, best you can do is give them the opportunity and help them be comfortable.

Good luck.

Em & Viola

Hi,

I kind of agree. Teens need to be listened to. I mean that's the biggest thing. If a T won't listen maybe you need to say something to her.

BTW - There's a teen thread around here somewhere. Maybe Katy will want to go there.

Iain