Sarandipity wrote:Would you use that machine or tablet that realigns the brain?
No, because I trust my brain, my mind and my system to do what's needed when it's needed, and I want things to go at their own pace.
Until now, some aspects of our traumas have been hidden or kept away thanks to dissociation. Few months ago, as an alter started to trust us more and came closer, those aspects became less avoidable for this alter, and the rest of the system discovered it through his flashbacks. It was very, very hard. If we weren't that experienced in managing flashback and trauma-related stuff, it would have been even harder. But we handled it like we always do, as a team. And we're working on it as a team too.
It's a scary event we went through together, which allowed us to understand ourselves better and to grow more close and empathetic to each other.
If I had discovered that few years ago, when I was searching for evidences about all the things I couldn't remember because not knowing seemed scarier than traumas, it would only have been a catastrophe. Our system wasn't a team back at this time, we were barely able to help each other (comparing to what we're able to do now). Knowing about those aspects of our traumas at this time would have only led us to be re-traumatized.
Not knowing allow us to function. DID allow us to function. And okay, it's not that great, we're way under the level of "normal" people, but I know it would be worst if we weren't a system, and we don't want to lose our current ability to function.
Letting things going at their own pace, dealing with them slowly, allow us to progress without losing our ability to function for too long.
So yeah, now we don't want to speed up things or to know everything. We trust our brain, our mind and our system about all of this. Things will be revealed when we will be able to hear them. This idea was scary at first, but now we trust ourselves and our ability to face our memories together, it's kind of reassuring.