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In need of advice

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In need of advice

Postby Wolfiara » Mon Jan 13, 2020 8:21 am

Hello, (sorry for my bad english and sorry if this is the right forum)
I need some advice on how to handle this situation correctly:
My boyfriend has multiple personalities and he's switching everytime he's overthinking too much.
This time he switched when no-one was around(he lives 600km away). The alter that was kind of like his protector called his best friend and told her that he woke up on the floor, trembling, and that he doesn't know what's happening. He asked her for help several times before his behaviour suddenly changed and he started laughing weirdly and said his best friend's name in a(to her) creepy tone. I don't know what happened next for I wasn't present while he called her but later he started texting both of us. He named himself "Emil" and told both of us that the real host is locked up( on one point he said that he was the one who locked him up, on another he said that the real host locked himself up) and that he("Emil") "eliminated" the other alter, the protector. He's currently at work with "Emil" having the control over the body(for 10 hours, is this normal?). He said he hasn't planned on bringing the real host back, but he said that he moved when "Emil" was chatting with me.

Can someone help us and give us advice on how to proceed? How should we treat "Emil" and what should we do to help him?
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Re: In need of advice

Postby Sarandipity » Mon Jan 13, 2020 7:09 pm

Something you wrote there reminded me of the guy I work with who very likely has DID. Other people thought he had moods. To me I could see he was different people at different times.

A child part in my system named his alters so we knew how to cope with each one, like you'd know how to speak to and cope to different people because they are different people.

What you wrote reminded me of the alter we named "Mr angry" a child part named them so the names were simple but didn't necessarily reflect the whole of that alter. Mr Angry was very good at dealing with work when outside stress of people we worked with put added pressure. Sometimes Mr Angry would be there if something else was on the mind.

So my guess is this Emil is very good at work. Something is on your friends mind or work is stressful. So this more aggressive part, part that copes under pressure, part that is good at work, has taken over for now.

Mr Angry of our previous work colleague was avoided by most other people. They would say "he's in a bad mood" we would know it was an alter, give more space because that alter liked space, but we weren't intimidated by him. Although his eyes were blacker and darker we knew his other parts were still there and we knew he was there for reasons that were nothing to do with us. We did nothing to come across as a threat - we didn't ask questions he might not know the answer to, we stuck to work stuff. We didn't refer to previous day's wherever possible. We didn't refer to future plans the overall guy had. Sometimes this part would talk about himself but as if it was his friend. We went along with it, didn't question it because to that alter his other selves are his friend and not him because he would of made other choices.

So we'd advice that. Stay talking in present moment with Emil. Don't press for other alters or host to come back, they will come back when the system is ready. Treat him like someone you don't know yet, with respect and with care.
Main IW:
Obsidian
Beth KarenPatrickPeterRose
No-one Paul and Lilly
Terra Magicka: The Twins (Batcho and Fortune)Sue the secutary. Jane, a general memory bank.
(Silent Lake : The Overlord/Mr BrightsideThe Whisperers (whisper whats outside), The Lightbringers (shine on parts to front), Martin and Janet (children with tails and wings)).
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Re: In need of advice

Postby lartiste » Tue Jan 14, 2020 4:26 pm

Hey there!

Seems like you met a new alter in your boyfriends system, that must have been quite frightening. It is totally okay to not know how to proceed.

If a dormant alter comes out for the first time in a while, while I am with my friend I‘d hope he reacts the same way as he would to any other alter. Be gentle, patient, help them become present in today. Just talk to Emil like you would with any other potential friend: try not to judge, be kind and curious. He will talk to you two more when he is ready. I myself have an alter that we are aware of but refuses to communicate, I will keep waiting and try to be welcoming for when he‘s ready.

Good Luck to you two!
Julia
Body is 19, System of 5 (so far):
-Julia/Jules, 19, Host
-Lucy, 8-11
-Sunny, 5-8
-Annie, 4
-grey thing?
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