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How du you organize your outside belongings

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How du you organize your outside belongings

Postby Muninn » Sat Jan 11, 2020 5:10 pm

For all those years in which the outside parts of us weren't aware that they shared one body with others, we apparently had some sort of unconscious rule, that stuff that belonged to a specific alter got completely ignored by others. We just don't see it. And there was some sort of mental block about it, especially to get rid of it.

This led to quite some stuff we have crammed in our room. And since we are more aware of each other, we are also getting more aware of how much stuff and chaos there is....

Since we want to move out of a shared flat in one for ourselves, and since we can't afford a big space, it would be a good time in our life to get rid of some stuff. But we are not sure on how to organize this. Whenever I ask if it is okay to throw away X because it wasn't used for like 2 years, there is someone screaming "nooo" inside.
Does everyone just gets like x times y space for their own stuff? What do we do with stuff that belongs to alters who weren't outside for many years? Or only outside some days a year?

How do you organize your stuff? Especially if you don't have much space and there are a bunch of headmates who share outside time?

- Kiran
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Re: How du you organize your outside belongings

Postby ArbreMonde » Sun Jan 12, 2020 1:53 pm

We do our best to tidy and organize and give away things that are not used, at least once every three month. If we want to keep something, we need a good reason to keep the something: we are going to use it again, it is of emotional significance, etc. And when we acquire something, we do our best to prefer what will be used by more than one of us - or the digitalized version. As much as possible, we personalize our "consumables" more often than our "keepers" (personalized soaps, food recipes, candles, make-up styles, perfumes... rather than personalized clothes, furnitures...).

Being only adults in front, helps a lot. We can discuss over what to keep what to give away and also, what to purchase and if it is worth purchasing it. We "Mary Kondo" everything. *chuckles*

Good luck in getting organized.

-David- and .:.Miles.:.
Multiple system Dx autistic, depression, c-PTSD...

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Re: How du you organize your outside belongings

Postby Muninn » Sun Jan 12, 2020 3:29 pm

Thanks for your replay :)

I think we are sort of the opposite of you. We haven't organized anything since 20 years. I recently found some early teenager cloths, neatly hidden behind our other stuff, and someone felt very attached to and didn't want to throw it away, although the body can't fit in it in any imaginable way.

I think, many of us are quite emotionally attached to the stuff we have, like it is part of their identity. I.e. Rheas identity is all the painting materials, paints, paper, a ton of sketchbooks and old portfolios, artbooks... she is super rarely outside since several years and doesn't use most of this,though. But she is very opposed to get rid of anything of it, because she sees it as a part of her. Her representation among as, sort of. Or one of our guys loves drag and has several boxes with shoes and cloth and makeup, and also defines this as an important part of his identity, but he uses some of it once a year, at most.

Thinking about it... we come from an outside family which hoarded a lot of stuff. Not in a cluttered compulsive hoarder style, though. It is well organized in a lot of space, and my mom is kind of famous that you can go to her and ask her for like anything you need and she will have it. But still it is this mindset to keep/accumulate a lot and that you need to "show off" things to be someone.

For me it is somehow weird, because my identity is mostly... work, I guess, but some of the others are more focused on the physical things. Maybe we have to work on this mindset first, like that you can be someone without having a lot of physical objects representing you. Even if you share the same body. But that will probably take longer than we need to find a flat :lol:

- Kiran
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Re: How du you organize your outside belongings

Postby TheGangsAllHere » Sun Jan 12, 2020 4:13 pm

We're more like you, Muninn. It's very hard to give things away. They're visual and concrete proof to different parts that they exist.

The only thing I can suggest is to keep some of each person's stuff instead of all of it. Maybe there are 3 teenage outfits that can be kept instead of 10. Or only the drag stuff that can fit into one box.

But I think you're doing the right thing to honor their feelings and work with them. There are things I gave away years ago in previous moves that people are still upset with me about.
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Re: How du you organize your outside belongings

Postby Muninn » Sun Jan 12, 2020 5:51 pm

Thanks Gang for your reply :)

Yeah, these physical things really some sort of proof, as far as I can tell. Not for all of us, but for some at least.

I like the suggestion, to keep some stuff for everyone, but to limit it, so that we can live in a not too cluttered space.

Since it's not working to ask everyone to do it for themselves, it will probably mostly Autumn and me, maybe Alea too, who are sorting the stuff. It will be a good exercises to listen carefully what we want to keep for those who are not around that often.

Since it still will take a while to find a flat, we could start now and make some emergency boxes, in which we add the stuff we want to throw/give away, out of which they still could rescue it for some time until it is completely gone.

Thx. As usual it helps to write here and getting suggestion and also having some ideas while writing myself.

-Kiran
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