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Non functioning parts being in the body?

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Non functioning parts being in the body?

Postby Sarandipity » Sun Jan 05, 2020 9:27 pm

This used to seem so weird to me and embarrassing and I felt like a freak. When I was a kid and thought everyone had it I was ok but then when I realised they didn't it became something distressing. Now it just feels like my normal.

This time when I got what I call ill, although some people might say I'm ill all the time I realise also, and I become detached from reality, not talking and didn't know what was happening I did something I don't usually do.

Usually I am in hospital for three days and feel fine again. But they force meds on me anyway. This time I didn't take any meds. This time I let the non speaking parts back in, the panicky parts, the parts who don't really know what to do with themselves. It was because I had my bf to support me and it felt safer. I didn't feel I was going to end up back in hospital and push them away to be "normal" again. So I let those strange parts come out a little. One got triggered in a recovery meditation class and I had a really bad couple of days, couldn't sleep, couldn't talk English even though I was trying to it was coming out wrong. I let a fragment be in the body yesterday for a brief period. It felt like the fragment nearly got stuck, it panicked and wasn't leaving the body but the overlord came and got it. This was all different to how I normally deal with a hospital admission. I've had admission before and not took meds but that was different because the non talking parts were supressed and Beth and Karen co-fronted for about three years without interruption, it was different.

It does feel like allowing these less capable parts to take over the body under supervision now and again may help prevent the complete take overs that last a few days and land me in hospital. It feels like staying in touch with the disorder instead of trying to squash it and only let out functioning parts will help.

What experience has anyone else had of this? Does allowing non functioning parts take over help? Is it a way to manage the disorder or could it make it worse? There have been a couple of scary moments, Beth thought she was going to be trapped in the mind unable to communicate at one point but it passed eventually - because the bf helped, he stayed calm although afterwards he said he was starting to get worried when it went on longer than he expected. Is there a danger of a non functioning or non speaking part taking over for longer than a few hours if I keep allowing this, and encouraging it, I'm feeling it's helpful but I am also slightly frightened? Beth said she eventually came to a "oh well we're just stuck like this then. We'll just have to live like this then" when she felt trapped in the mind and unable to push past the non speaking part. Which I guess is like a worse case scenario but still I'd like to know how risky it is if anyone knows or has similar experience or tried letting more non functioning traumatized parts be in the body, supervised? No-one and Beth have been supervising it since No-one took "dog girl" from the twins. She didn't intend to do this with other fragments but she is.

It feels like my normal now but I'm worried I'm getting too comfortable at it and there could be possible problems to doing this that I'm unaware of?
Main IW:
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No-one Paul and Lilly
Terra Magicka: The Twins (Batcho and Fortune)Sue the secutary. Jane, a general memory bank.
(Silent Lake : The Overlord/Mr BrightsideThe Whisperers (whisper whats outside), The Lightbringers (shine on parts to front), Martin and Janet (children with tails and wings)).
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Re: Non functioning parts being in the body?

Postby SOHank » Wed Jan 08, 2020 2:59 pm

Sarandipity wrote:It does feel like allowing these less capable parts to take over the body under supervision now and again may help prevent the complete take overs that last a few days and land me in hospital. It feels like staying in touch with the disorder instead of trying to squash it and only let out functioning parts will help.


I think less capable is a better phrasing than the title. I let each of them know they are important even if they don’t have a particular role or function. :wink:

Giving them time out in safe and positive ways has been healing for the Sunflower system and has increased internal cooperation and communication. At first there was a lot of difficulty for some in things like how to use the body, how to speak, and how to switch out gracefully. (When I mean gracefully, I mean a handoff rather than just leaving. This is best done initially sitting down until they learn this. I’ve had to catch Sunflower several times when someone left abruptly and the body essentially dropped/fainted with out an operator.) It is still easier for some to switch than others, but there hasn’t been anyone stuck for a long time now. They learned quickly. It just takes some practice and someone like Karen or Beth to assist and guide certainly helps.

In general time out for everyone has created much better emotional balance for Sunflower. In time the panicky parts may still be on edge, but toned down etc..
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Re: Non functioning parts being in the body?

Postby andiKirkwood » Wed Jan 08, 2020 4:23 pm

Sarandipity wrote:This used to seem so weird to me and embarrassing and I felt like a freak. When I was a kid and thought everyone had it I was ok but then when I realised they didn't it became something distressing. Now it just feels like my normal.

This time when I got what I call ill, although some people might say I'm ill all the time I realise also, and I become detached from reality, not talking and didn't know what was happening I did something I don't usually do.

Usually I am in hospital for three days and feel fine again. But they force meds on me anyway. This time I didn't take any meds. This time I let the non speaking parts back in, the panicky parts, the parts who don't really know what to do with themselves. It was because I had my bf to support me and it felt safer. I didn't feel I was going to end up back in hospital and push them away to be "normal" again. So I let those strange parts come out a little. One got triggered in a recovery meditation class and I had a really bad couple of days, couldn't sleep, couldn't talk English even though I was trying to it was coming out wrong. I let a fragment be in the body yesterday for a brief period. It felt like the fragment nearly got stuck, it panicked and wasn't leaving the body but the overlord came and got it. This was all different to how I normally deal with a hospital admission. I've had admission before and not took meds but that was different because the non talking parts were supressed and Beth and Karen co-fronted for about three years without interruption, it was different.

It does feel like allowing these less capable parts to take over the body under supervision now and again may help prevent the complete take overs that last a few days and land me in hospital. It feels like staying in touch with the disorder instead of trying to squash it and only let out functioning parts will help.

What experience has anyone else had of this? Does allowing non functioning parts take over help? Is it a way to manage the disorder or could it make it worse? There have been a couple of scary moments, Beth thought she was going to be trapped in the mind unable to communicate at one point but it passed eventually - because the bf helped, he stayed calm although afterwards he said he was starting to get worried when it went on longer than he expected. Is there a danger of a non functioning or non speaking part taking over for longer than a few hours if I keep allowing this, and encouraging it, I'm feeling it's helpful but I am also slightly frightened? Beth said she eventually came to a "oh well we're just stuck like this then. We'll just have to live like this then" when she felt trapped in the mind and unable to push past the non speaking part. Which I guess is like a worse case scenario but still I'd like to know how risky it is if anyone knows or has similar experience or tried letting more non functioning traumatized parts be in the body, supervised? No-one and Beth have been supervising it since No-one took "dog girl" from the twins. She didn't intend to do this with other fragments but she is.

It feels like my normal now but I'm worried I'm getting too comfortable at it and there could be possible problems to doing this that I'm unaware of?

I aint got the kind of DID wheres I get to choose who comes out or when they comes on out. They just do. last night I was doing the grocery shopping and saw a cerial that we was forced to eat, dont know what happened, just sudden like Im sitting there watching a tv show. then something happen in the tv show sudden like im in bed reading a book. then something happen in the book and sudden like its morning and im drinking my coffee getting ready for work. ever time I feels numb and floaty, scared, or angry that one is out whether I wants them to or not. I dont gets to letting them or stopping them they just do.
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Re: Non functioning parts being in the body?

Postby Sarandipity » Wed Jan 08, 2020 4:40 pm

andiKirkwood wrote:
Sarandipity wrote:This used to seem so weird to me and embarrassing and I felt like a freak. When I was a kid and thought everyone had it I was ok but then when I realised they didn't it became something distressing. Now it just feels like my normal.

This time when I got what I call ill, although some people might say I'm ill all the time I realise also, and I become detached from reality, not talking and didn't know what was happening I did something I don't usually do.

Usually I am in hospital for three days and feel fine again. But they force meds on me anyway. This time I didn't take any meds. This time I let the non speaking parts back in, the panicky parts, the parts who don't really know what to do with themselves. It was because I had my bf to support me and it felt safer. I didn't feel I was going to end up back in hospital and push them away to be "normal" again. So I let those strange parts come out a little. One got triggered in a recovery meditation class and I had a really bad couple of days, couldn't sleep, couldn't talk English even though I was trying to it was coming out wrong. I let a fragment be in the body yesterday for a brief period. It felt like the fragment nearly got stuck, it panicked and wasn't leaving the body but the overlord came and got it. This was all different to how I normally deal with a hospital admission. I've had admission before and not took meds but that was different because the non talking parts were supressed and Beth and Karen co-fronted for about three years without interruption, it was different.

It does feel like allowing these less capable parts to take over the body under supervision now and again may help prevent the complete take overs that last a few days and land me in hospital. It feels like staying in touch with the disorder instead of trying to squash it and only let out functioning parts will help.

What experience has anyone else had of this? Does allowing non functioning parts take over help? Is it a way to manage the disorder or could it make it worse? There have been a couple of scary moments, Beth thought she was going to be trapped in the mind unable to communicate at one point but it passed eventually - because the bf helped, he stayed calm although afterwards he said he was starting to get worried when it went on longer than he expected. Is there a danger of a non functioning or non speaking part taking over for longer than a few hours if I keep allowing this, and encouraging it, I'm feeling it's helpful but I am also slightly frightened? Beth said she eventually came to a "oh well we're just stuck like this then. We'll just have to live like this then" when she felt trapped in the mind and unable to push past the non speaking part. Which I guess is like a worse case scenario but still I'd like to know how risky it is if anyone knows or has similar experience or tried letting more non functioning traumatized parts be in the body, supervised? No-one and Beth have been supervising it since No-one took "dog girl" from the twins. She didn't intend to do this with other fragments but she is.

It feels like my normal now but I'm worried I'm getting too comfortable at it and there could be possible problems to doing this that I'm unaware of?

I aint got the kind of DID wheres I get to choose who comes out or when they comes on out. They just do. last night I was doing the grocery shopping and saw a cerial that we was forced to eat, dont know what happened, just sudden like Im sitting there watching a tv show. then something happen in the tv show sudden like im in bed reading a book. then something happen in the book and sudden like its morning and im drinking my coffee getting ready for work. ever time I feels numb and floaty, scared, or angry that one is out whether I wants them to or not. I dont gets to letting them or stopping them they just do.


Yeah it used to be like for me.
Main IW:
Obsidian
Beth KarenPatrickPeterRose
No-one Paul and Lilly
Terra Magicka: The Twins (Batcho and Fortune)Sue the secutary. Jane, a general memory bank.
(Silent Lake : The Overlord/Mr BrightsideThe Whisperers (whisper whats outside), The Lightbringers (shine on parts to front), Martin and Janet (children with tails and wings)).
Sarandipity
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Re: Non functioning parts being in the body?

Postby Sarandipity » Wed Jan 08, 2020 4:46 pm

SOHank wrote:
Sarandipity wrote:It does feel like allowing these less capable parts to take over the body under supervision now and again may help prevent the complete take overs that last a few days and land me in hospital. It feels like staying in touch with the disorder instead of trying to squash it and only let out functioning parts will help.


I think less capable is a better phrasing than the title. I let each of them know they are important even if they don’t have a particular role or function. :wink:

Giving them time out in safe and positive ways has been healing for the Sunflower system and has increased internal cooperation and communication. At first there was a lot of difficulty for some in things like how to use the body, how to speak, and how to switch out gracefully. (When I mean gracefully, I mean a handoff rather than just leaving. This is best done initially sitting down until they learn this. I’ve had to catch Sunflower several times when someone left abruptly and the body essentially dropped/fainted with out an operator.) It is still easier for some to switch than others, but there hasn’t been anyone stuck for a long time now. They learned quickly. It just takes some practice and someone like Karen or Beth to assist and guide certainly helps.

In general time out for everyone has created much better emotional balance for Sunflower. In time the panicky parts may still be on edge, but toned down etc..


Thanks Hank. Less capable is probably a better phrase. Alot seem to be non talkers or don't want to talk, I'm not sure. They seem to paralysis when they don't want to be in the body but don't want to leave either.

My hope is that it creates a balance and that it helps overall with daily life and avoids a crash or days with no memory of what happened. I have to ask others and piece it together which isn't the best so i may be expecting too much from this small thing.
Main IW:
Obsidian
Beth KarenPatrickPeterRose
No-one Paul and Lilly
Terra Magicka: The Twins (Batcho and Fortune)Sue the secutary. Jane, a general memory bank.
(Silent Lake : The Overlord/Mr BrightsideThe Whisperers (whisper whats outside), The Lightbringers (shine on parts to front), Martin and Janet (children with tails and wings)).
Sarandipity
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Re: Non functioning parts being in the body?

Postby SystemFlo » Wed Jan 08, 2020 5:01 pm

andiKirkwood wrote: I aint got the kind of DID wheres I get to choose who comes out or when they comes on out. They just do.


There aren't different kind of DIDs, just different kind of systems. Some have more co-operation, and that's something you can learn over time.

I don't have enough experience to think how things are for us. From parts I know, Fourteen is least functional, but it's hard to say has time outside helped him or not. We haven't been co-con that much really until now suddenly, I know I've lost time after doing something that's Fourteen's trigger, but because it's so hard to find out when I do lose time and who has it been, it's also kind of impossible to tell if that helps them. I don't even know what they do while they're out. But I guess you meant being co-con with them?

Several people have told it does help parts, especially the kind who are stuck inside in memory, cause that's how they learn new reality and they can have good experiences they otherwise lack. In our system parts like that are in Fourteen. I've only once been few seconds co-con with one little in Fourteen's system, who was really scared, but I reacted wrong way because I didn't understand what happened, and then it was too late. They've not come back after that. There are probably parts like that living in Deep in too, but I don't know them. I know there's one little girl who is really sensitive, but bit playful still, but I've met her only once 20 years ago. She came out and my mom was angry to her and that was it. She has not been out since that either as far as I know.

I have no way of calling them out, because I don't know how, but I would if I could, to a safe situation. When you find a good T they can trust, it can help them a lot to be able to talk to someone who is nice and understanding and validating. At least that's what other people tell.
Flor F main front
Sami M 16 (15-26) system manager, defender
Lucas M 16 balancer, socializer, self care
Leon M 4
Fourteen M 14 main trauma holder, DID (ca 20 parts age 3-16):
- random M teen
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Re: Non functioning parts being in the body?

Postby TheGangsAllHere » Wed Jan 08, 2020 5:06 pm

andiKirkwood wrote:I aint got the kind of DID wheres I get to choose who comes out or when they comes on out. They just do. last night I was doing the grocery shopping and saw a cerial that we was forced to eat, dont know what happened, just sudden like Im sitting there watching a tv show. then something happen in the tv show sudden like im in bed reading a book. then something happen in the book and sudden like its morning and im drinking my coffee getting ready for work. ever time I feels numb and floaty, scared, or angry that one is out whether I wants them to or not. I dont gets to letting them or stopping them they just do.


It's not about the "kind of DID;" it has to do with having not yet developed communication with each other so that you can cooperate more about who is charge when. One of the most important initial goals of therapy for DID is to increase communication among the parts so they don't have to just abruptly take over in order to get their needs met.

It sounds like right now, your system has no other way of responding to triggers than to have someone else take over, so learning grounding skills would be important. It seems like it would be a big improvement if when you saw that cereal, you had enough communication with whoever ran away to be able to say, "Hey, I know that's scary, but we're grown up now and no one's going to force us to eat that. Let's pick out something you like to eat, finish our shopping together, and go home."

Then you wouldn't be losing so much time. What you described sounds very disruptive, and increasing communication is usually one of the first goals of therapy. Hasn't your therapist been trying to help you communicate with each other and try to help with grounding so you don't have to resort to uncontrolled switching?
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Re: Non functioning parts being in the body?

Postby andiKirkwood » Wed Jan 08, 2020 7:10 pm

Floralie wrote:
andiKirkwood wrote: I aint got the kind of DID wheres I get to choose who comes out or when they comes on out. They just do.


There aren't different kind of DIDs, just different kind of systems. Some have more co-operation, and that's something you can learn over time.

I don't have enough experience to think how things are for us. From parts I know, Fourteen is least functional, but it's hard to say has time outside helped him or not. We haven't been co-con that much really until now suddenly, I know I've lost time after doing something that's Fourteen's trigger, but because it's so hard to find out when I do lose time and who has it been, it's also kind of impossible to tell if that helps them. I don't even know what they do while they're out. But I guess you meant being co-con with them?

Several people have told it does help parts, especially the kind who are stuck inside in memory, cause that's how they learn new reality and they can have good experiences they otherwise lack. In our system parts like that are in Fourteen. I've only once been few seconds co-con with one little in Fourteen's system, who was really scared, but I reacted wrong way because I didn't understand what happened, and then it was too late. They've not come back after that. There are probably parts like that living in Deep in too, but I don't know them. I know there's one little girl who is really sensitive, but bit playful still, but I've met her only once 20 years ago. She came out and my mom was angry to her and that was it. She has not been out since that either as far as I know.

I have no way of calling them out, because I don't know how, but I would if I could, to a safe situation. When you find a good T they can trust, it can help them a lot to be able to talk to someone who is nice and understanding and validating. At least that's what other people tell.

Thanks :)
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Re: Non functioning parts being in the body?

Postby andiKirkwood » Wed Jan 08, 2020 7:21 pm

TheGangsAllHere wrote:
andiKirkwood wrote:I aint got the kind of DID wheres I get to choose who comes out or when they comes on out. They just do. last night I was doing the grocery shopping and saw a cerial that we was forced to eat, dont know what happened, just sudden like Im sitting there watching a tv show. then something happen in the tv show sudden like im in bed reading a book. then something happen in the book and sudden like its morning and im drinking my coffee getting ready for work. ever time I feels numb and floaty, scared, or angry that one is out whether I wants them to or not. I dont gets to letting them or stopping them they just do.


It's not about the "kind of DID;" it has to do with having not yet developed communication with each other so that you can cooperate more about who is charge when. One of the most important initial goals of therapy for DID is to increase communication among the parts so they don't have to just abruptly take over in order to get their needs met.

It sounds like right now, your system has no other way of responding to triggers than to have someone else take over, so learning grounding skills would be important. It seems like it would be a big improvement if when you saw that cereal, you had enough communication with whoever ran away to be able to say, "Hey, I know that's scary, but we're grown up now and no one's going to force us to eat that. Let's pick out something you like to eat, finish our shopping together, and go home."

Then you wouldn't be losing so much time. What you described sounds very disruptive, and increasing communication is usually one of the first goals of therapy. Hasn't your therapist been trying to help you communicate with each other and try to help with grounding so you don't have to resort to uncontrolled switching?


thanks :) I wont talk bout therapy here cause people here start fights and name calling with me and each other, and scare others here that may have to be doing the same Therapy I do. I talk Therapy stuff on other sites where that kind of talk is better welcome. I accept that I, my therapy too different from you all to do Therapy talk here. I reads lots here and sometimes post what feels safe to me to post. Therapy talk here dont feel safe to me now.
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Re: Non functioning parts being in the body?

Postby TheGangsAllHere » Wed Jan 08, 2020 9:02 pm

No, of course--don't talk about anything that doesn't feel safe for you to talk about. I'm just concerned for you because it sounded like you haven't been made aware of how important it is to establish communication with other parts.

For you to think that it's just the "kind of DID" you have and that increased cooperation and communication isn't possible, it must mean that either your therapist hasn't been emphasizing the importance of internal communication, or your system hasn't absorbed it as a possibility.

That is usually one of the first things that is worked on in therapy because daily blackouts, where you don't even get filled in later on what happened, can make it very hard to function.

I hope those other parts who get so scared by things like seeing a particular cereal, or something that happens on a TV show, can at least talk with the therapist about what was so upsetting, so they can learn that it's safe now.
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