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Chatter under a veil

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Chatter under a veil

Postby Rive » Sat Jan 04, 2020 8:51 pm

Do you every get chatter that is under sort of a veil. Like you are aware it's there. There are alters disagreeing you can feel it but can't really hear it. You are shaking your head like you are in an argument though.
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Re: Chatter under a veil

Postby Allcoulors » Sat Jan 04, 2020 10:28 pm

No
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Re: Chatter under a veil

Postby Skaya » Sat Jan 04, 2020 10:29 pm

Yup. Not often, but yeah, sounds familiar.
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Re: Chatter under a veil

Postby fireheart » Sun Jan 05, 2020 3:46 pm

Yeah, I get this too. Without shaking my head though, but I also don't do that if there is an argument I can hear or am engaged in.
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Re: Chatter under a veil

Postby Sarandipity » Sun Jan 05, 2020 9:03 pm

Yeah, this happens. Sometimes if they start talking but don't want the rest of their conversation heard then a song starts up in my head and I can't hear them anymore but I know they're still discussing. It's not just arguing, it can be a conversation they want privately.
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Beth KarenPatrickPeterRose
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Terra Magicka: The Twins (Batcho and Fortune)Sue the secutary. Jane, a general memory bank.
(Silent Lake : The Overlord/Mr BrightsideThe Whisperers (whisper whats outside), The Lightbringers (shine on parts to front), Martin and Janet (children with tails and wings)).
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Re: Chatter under a veil

Postby Sarandipity » Wed Jan 08, 2020 6:33 pm

I think this might go here too. I put it on a thread I made but this what just happened to me:


Me and the bf were talking about something that happened over Christmas. He said that I didn't get juice spilt on me. I knew I did. Then he said "you have a vivid imagination" which is incredibly triggering. I did get juice spilt on me, two other people saw. Anyway the triggering.

Someone inside said "it's like he's trying to trigger the twins out" (I don't think he was, but that must be a trigger for them or something) and then somebody else said "yeah but who would want to trigger two evil psychotic delusional people"

**TW MENTION OF VIOLENCE**

Somebody else was visually thinking about stabbing the bf in the eye with a toothpick, which is an incredibly excessive reaction to "you have a vivid imagination"

**END TRIGGER**


and then another part said "I don't think the twins are evil, delusional and psychotic yeah but not evil" and the other two voices agreed "no not evil" "not evil exactly" In the meantime I was dropping potato I was trying to cook on the floor and getting overly stressed out about gravy. The bf did admit that he didn't remember I got juice spilt on me by my son and that I did and that I wasn't imagining it.

The inner conversation continued about the twins "yeah but you'd be psychotic and delusional if you had to deal with such messed up stuff as a child" and the reply "yeah I guess. They did have to deal with some messed up stuff"

A bit later, maybe ten minutes, one of my outside sons said something, not to me, "this isn't going to work" and then I could feel the stiring of paranoia and delusional thinking like the feeling of "why is he saying that about us" but not in words, a paranoid feeling. My son was talking about something else entirely. One of the voices that was talking about the twins said "he isn't. Nothings wrong. Go back to sleep" and the inner conversation stopped and the paranoid feeling went.

After dinner I realised I'd made a terrible mess cooking and dishing up the dinner. Because of this inner conflict that in reality had little to do with what was happening outside, it was because of a throw away comment of "you have a vivid imagination" Inwardly there was about 10-15 mins of chaos and outwardly I now needed to clean up potato and cheese and butter lids and everything else I'd just left everywhere.

I decided to write this because it felt important and I'm starting to dissociate now, I don't know why, maybe to block this or for some other reason.

I'm feeling really low and upset now. Like the low after what I was told is a psychotic episode. The only part that felt in line with the description of psychosis I know was the feeling of paranoia when it felt like my son was talking about me but it was obvious he wasn't. I do think the twins started to wake up and went back to sleep and now I'm left with this sadness over something. I think it's a sadness that something so small can trigger me, someone not believing I had juice spilt on me and saying I have a vivid imagination. I'm sad because something so small can cause me such upset even though I know it's that he didn't remember that and he did even take back saying it. I went into BPD type black and white thinking also after he said it and said "everyone thinks I just imagine juice being spilt on me" and my son said "not everyone, I said I saw the juice be spilt on you" Even as I was saying "everyone" I knew it was incorrect and I was being over upset about it and knew polarisation of emotions and therefore my words was happening but I couldn't stop myself from being melodramatic. We ate dinner and chatted nicely but now sitting down after I cleaned up I just feel so sad. Things like this shouldn't have such a dramatic impact on me and I feel disappointed in myself. It kind of feels like a mini tornado went through me and now I'm wrecked.
Main IW:
Obsidian
Beth KarenPatrickPeterRose
No-one Paul and Lilly
Terra Magicka: The Twins (Batcho and Fortune)Sue the secutary. Jane, a general memory bank.
(Silent Lake : The Overlord/Mr BrightsideThe Whisperers (whisper whats outside), The Lightbringers (shine on parts to front), Martin and Janet (children with tails and wings)).
Sarandipity
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