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Do you have your own versions of holidays?

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Do you have your own versions of holidays?

Postby Sarandipity » Wed Dec 25, 2019 5:11 pm

Mandy wrote about how we veiw this time of year. We have this for other holidays too. We sort of rewrote them before we had our youngest son. When realising there was so much disagreement over religion a three year long investigation took place. Many faiths and religions, folk stories and beliefs were investigated. The aim was to find one we all agreed on, a belief system we all believed in. That didn't work out, belief is belief and pretty much unshakeable.

But we did reach an agreement. It was the twins who investigated and tried to make science out of it all. They put forward the proposal that since we couldn't all agree on belief then maybe we could all agree that the Sun and the moon follow patterns and seasons are how they are. Everyone agreed. Then they proposed we take the oldest mythology they'd found and put that with the Soltices and the equinoxes of the Sun and Moon.

Sounds reasonable so we do that. Alot of themes are common in many faiths so the themes of the oldest mythology they'd found fitted with the seasons and didn't offend anyone.

Christmas then holds the story of the battle between the holy and the oak king. Easter has the story of a Goddess bringing her favourite pet, a hare that lived in the moon, down to earth where it laid coloured eggs for children. Halloween we take as a time to honour the dead.

We started off celebrating smaller equinoxes too. February is the Callach Beur blowing the winter away for example. We didn't stick to those but I'm thinking maybe to go back to them, it was nice.

How do you guys "take the holidays back?" That's what we call it, along with "making our own traditions" - which it isn't really that but it's owning the celebration for ourselves I guess.

We also didn't want to teach our children something wrong, the wrong religion, and when you can't all agree on what's "right" explaining about the Sun and old myths and also we put in more modern Christian stuff sometimes, seemed like the best way forward. So they can find their own ways.

We say a meal blessing at most dinner times that thanks the earth for our food - again not offensive to others because the food comes from the earth. We did start a night time blessing too, that didn't stick because we kept forgetting it plus it involved saying "blessings be upon... people" Which mostly involved the children blessing our past abusers - hadn't faced that they were past abusers then but I suspect that's why the meal blessing stuck but the night one didn't when I think about it.

I guess this is really two questions. How do you make the year your own? And how if you have parts with different faiths do you bring them to some kind of spiritual agreement so there's cooperation in outside life and I guess specifically holidays?
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Re: Do you have your own versions of holidays?

Postby Amythyst » Wed Dec 25, 2019 10:44 pm

We used to be a practicing witch. We don't do sabbats & stuff any more but we still sorta observe the passage of the year in terms of the solstices, equinoxes, & the 4 major sabbats on the 'crossed quarters'. And we're aware of the moon phases, we like to know when's the full & new moons.

We don't have anyone inside of different faiths, that we know of. I think at best we have some who don't have any faith, some who just don't care, but those who have any kinda spirituality thing, lean towards paganism. Tho none of us actively like, worship or practice the craft or any of that stuff any more. We still have all the tools & books & writings & stuff tho, & still wear our consecrated necklace, just in case. :)

That thing with the oak king & holly king is also reenacted in solstice stories in some witchcraft traditions, afaik. Like at the winter solstice that marks the death of one and rebirth of the other, and the year gets lighter. then the summer solstice the opposite one dies & the other is reborn & the year gets darker...

Nowadays we sorta do what we call Littles Days, a couple times a year. One is around xmas. Last year it was on boxing day, t his year it was on the solstice. Its not really an official system holiday... or maybe it is? I dunno. Its justa day where the littles get to call the shots & do what they want. Play games, play with toys, watch cartoons, eat yummy foods, whatever. There's usually a big around as like a chaperone or whatever... V2, or V1, or Mike or whatever.

Not to say that littles aren't allowed to do those things on other days either, but its especially a day just for them, os there's no worry about like, other stuff coming up, or unexpected work, or whatever.

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Re: Do you have your own versions of holidays?

Postby SystemFlo » Thu Dec 26, 2019 12:53 am

I haven't rewrite the meaning of what holidays represent in our culture, because they're not that important to me. Some things are important to some of us, but we don't have disagreements. We agree no Santa or elves, Sami hates them, nobody misses them. No happy x-mas songs, they're more likely to be about things we don't like than safe ones, and our culture is known for it's weirdness to be really sentimental with x-mas, all our own x-mas songs are really sad which is weird to foreigners but for us it's what makes it feel more real and not faked. But it's probably because how dark it's up in here this time a year, half of people are depressed because of lack of sunlight anyway.

Santa thing is a safety thing, although it's not important now that body is grown up, it still feels important to Sami, because the reasons are good enough for him to be serious about that (I don't know his reasons), and there's littles in the system. It's fine with me, although it feels like that's the one that he's not objective with, but he's allowed to be more protective than needed, especially because in the end it's his trigger. He's the one who knows why, rest of us have no clue. I don't even know is it because of our life, outside life, or is it his own and internal. He can stay away from his triggers, we don't have to pretend all he does is for someone else. This one we can do for him, just to be fair, it doesn't always have to be him doing things for us. But he feels it's important for littles too, their safety, and that's fine. Our littles won't go into anyone's lap anyway, because I won't go, but we can especially-not-go to Santa's lap. Done deal, we're not tempted to break that trust.

Littles can have presents and Lucas looks to feel pure and forgiven. It's important for him, he holds trauma, he can do that, it helps him. With faith we don't need to agree either. There are people who feel victimized by religious beliefs and there's people who are victims because other people attack all they believe in. Inside it's not a problem, because nobody attacks anyone. We let each other be how we are and understand why others feel that way, all feel like victims. We all have our reasons, we know each other's reasons and how they're victims too. That's important, not to have same opinion.

We don't try to become alike. If we ever integrate, non of us wanna be black and white thinking person with one view of the world and everything that exists. We share our ethics, that's important. All one truth simple answers are ethical problems, that's why we're not looking for one. We're fine to disagree now, because we wanna be able to see all that as valid as we do now also if we ever become one. I wanna become like Lucas is, able to believe in humanity regardless of cultural things and all that makes us different. In a way we have that, it's just way too fragile and sensitive part of us, we're not strong enough for those who don't see in us what we try to see in them. We need our strong headed guys to support that, but they won't as long as there's too much more urgent things to worry about.

I don't like holidays. I don't know why should I ever. I take care of other people's pets while they party, that's win-win for us and them. This year we took x-mas to be our own simply by staying at home. And I had been scared we'd feel really lonely, and just like suffocating, but we didn't. For the first time the ones who do like the holiday, or even some thing in it, got to be out and do their things, and the ones who do not, got to be in and knew we won't go outside or let anyone in, so we'll be safe without them watching. Until this we've always spent holidays for someone else, with someone else's tradition and because I don't have a family, nobody ever bothered to ask what do I want. We were invited to spent it like some other family does, tradition they chose to their kids. And our outside team, the ones who don't like whole thing, were the ones that needed to take care of it. I didn't know much the ones inside would've wanted to have their own x-mas. Now I do, this was a good thing.

To be honest, we were really tired. We slept 8 hours x-mas eve day, and the next night. I don't know if all of us realized we did. It was Jules sleeping. I do think our body slept, I did anyway too. I don't know why we were tired, but I don't feel it was to escape x-mas, but because we relaxed. I don't know tho if someone was awake, we had TV on and it was movies for kids for hours. On the other hand, whole day out for Lucas and Leon would be way more they usually do. I think they were tired too.

Jules is the only one whose opinion I did not have. He was inside, there was no x-mas there, he was in here but picturing it to happen in his world. That's why I know it was him who was so tired. He didn't come for x-mas, but there's no reason why should he, if he didn't wanna. Neither did Sami, but I knew he doesn't want to. For him it's not common to have days off. Maybe it's logical we were tired after turning system upside down and inside out.
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Re: Do you have your own versions of holidays?

Postby Sarandipity » Thu Dec 26, 2019 1:54 am

Amythyst wrote:We used to be a practicing witch. We don't do sabbats & stuff any more but we still sorta observe the passage of the year in terms of the solstices, equinoxes, & the 4 major sabbats on the 'crossed quarters'. And we're aware of the moon phases, we like to know when's the full & new moons.

We don't have anyone inside of different faiths, that we know of. I think at best we have some who don't have any faith, some who just don't care, but those who have any kinda spirituality thing, lean towards paganism. Tho none of us actively like, worship or practice the craft or any of that stuff any more. We still have all the tools & books & writings & stuff tho, & still wear our consecrated necklace, just in case. :)

That thing with the oak king & holly king is also reenacted in solstice stories in some witchcraft traditions, afaik. Like at the winter solstice that marks the death of one and rebirth of the other, and the year gets lighter. then the summer solstice the opposite one dies & the other is reborn & the year gets darker...

Nowadays we sorta do what we call Littles Days, a couple times a year. One is around xmas. Last year it was on boxing day, t his year it was on the solstice. Its not really an official system holiday... or maybe it is? I dunno. Its justa day where the littles get to call the shots & do what they want. Play games, play with toys, watch cartoons, eat yummy foods, whatever. There's usually a big around as like a chaperone or whatever... V2, or V1, or Mike or whatever.

Not to say that littles aren't allowed to do those things on other days either, but its especially a day just for them, os there's no worry about like, other stuff coming up, or unexpected work, or whatever.

Viola


Karen is Wiccan. The twins like an ancient Hawaiian faith best. Rose is Christian. Peter is Buddhist. Etc. The Twins researched alot, African faiths, Islam, Hinduism. Most parts kind of liked Hinduism but not believe in and it'd be a whole life style change. The easiest way was to go with the Sun etc because can't argue it's darker or lighter. Those myths they picked fit with how people celebrate. Rose left church one Christmas and went shopping. Karen was feeling a bit down, church does that, and when we got to the town we realised, Karen realised, people still celebrate like pagans. Which was really funny to her and she pointed it out to alot of outside people. Overall we realised when we look at it how the twins looked at it, without faith in anything just science, if you're going to celebrate anything when it's so confusing then celebrate something real or the day length etc.

We told our children those stories and explained how the Romans did their best at incorporating all faiths so now people celebrate the birth of Christ at Yule. It works for us overall to as well having something to say to the children. Everyone practicing their stuff was very externally conflicting. Karen going to Wiccan groups, Rose going to church, Peter doing yoga and Kung Fu didn't cause problems but he gave those up when the others have up their activities. It has made life simpler, given space for other things, but hasn't effected their personal beliefs so it's ok in that way, they don't seem to long for those activities back.

I have random days where different parts get the day to themselves, no set days, but it sounds great to do littles days.
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Re: Do you have your own versions of holidays?

Postby Sarandipity » Thu Dec 26, 2019 2:12 am

Floralie wrote:I haven't rewrite the meaning of what holidays represent in our culture, because they're not that important to me. Some things are important to some of us, but we don't have disagreements. We agree no Santa or elves, Sami hates them, nobody misses them. No happy x-mas songs, they're more likely to be about things we don't like than safe ones, and our culture is known for it's weirdness to be really sentimental with x-mas, all our own x-mas songs are really sad which is weird to foreigners but for us it's what makes it feel more real and not faked. But it's probably because how dark it's up in here this time a year, half of people are depressed because of lack of sunlight anyway.

Santa thing is a safety thing, although it's not important now that body is grown up, it still feels important to Sami, because the reasons are good enough for him to be serious about that (I don't know his reasons), and there's littles in the system. It's fine with me, although it feels like that's the one that he's not objective with, but he's allowed to be more protective than needed, especially because in the end it's his trigger. He's the one who knows why, rest of us have no clue. I don't even know is it because of our life, outside life, or is it his own and internal. He can stay away from his triggers, we don't have to pretend all he does is for someone else. This one we can do for him, just to be fair, it doesn't always have to be him doing things for us. But he feels it's important for littles too, their safety, and that's fine. Our littles won't go into anyone's lap anyway, because I won't go, but we can especially-not-go to Santa's lap. Done deal, we're not tempted to break that trust.

Littles can have presents and Lucas looks to feel pure and forgiven. It's important for him, he holds trauma, he can do that, it helps him. With faith we don't need to agree either. There are people who feel victimized by religious beliefs and there's people who are victims because other people attack all they believe in. Inside it's not a problem, because nobody attacks anyone. We let each other be how we are and understand why others feel that way, all feel like victims. We all have our reasons, we know each other's reasons and how they're victims too. That's important, not to have same opinion.

We don't try to become alike. If we ever integrate, non of us wanna be black and white thinking person with one view of the world and everything that exists. We share our ethics, that's important. All one truth simple answers are ethical problems, that's why we're not looking for one. We're fine to disagree now, because we wanna be able to see all that as valid as we do now also if we ever become one. I wanna become like Lucas is, able to believe in humanity regardless of cultural things and all that makes us different. In a way we have that, it's just way too fragile and sensitive part of us, we're not strong enough for those who don't see in us what we try to see in them. We need our strong headed guys to support that, but they won't as long as there's too much more urgent things to worry about.

I don't like holidays. I don't know why should I ever. I take care of other people's pets while they party, that's win-win for us and them. This year we took x-mas to be our own simply by staying at home. And I had been scared we'd feel really lonely, and just like suffocating, but we didn't. For the first time the ones who do like the holiday, or even some thing in it, got to be out and do their things, and the ones who do not, got to be in and knew we won't go outside or let anyone in, so we'll be safe without them watching. Until this we've always spent holidays for someone else, with someone else's tradition and because I don't have a family, nobody ever bothered to ask what do I want. We were invited to spent it like some other family does, tradition they chose to their kids. And our outside team, the ones who don't like whole thing, were the ones that needed to take care of it. I didn't know much the ones inside would've wanted to have their own x-mas. Now I do, this was a good thing.

To be honest, we were really tired. We slept 8 hours x-mas eve day, and the next night. I don't know if all of us realized we did. It was Jules sleeping. I do think our body slept, I did anyway too. I don't know why we were tired, but I don't feel it was to escape x-mas, but because we relaxed. I don't know tho if someone was awake, we had TV on and it was movies for kids for hours. On the other hand, whole day out for Lucas and Leon would be way more they usually do. I think they were tired too.

Jules is the only one whose opinion I did not have. He was inside, there was no x-mas there, he was in here but picturing it to happen in his world. That's why I know it was him who was so tired. He didn't come for x-mas, but there's no reason why should he, if he didn't wanna. Neither did Sami, but I knew he doesn't want to. For him it's not common to have days off. Maybe it's logical we were tired after turning system upside down and inside out.


So you do it by cutting out the stuff you don't like and looking after animals which you enjoy. That's exactly what we were talking about. No reason why you have to do what other people want or follow. That's how we see it so because we like decoration, presents, chocolate we still get to do all that but associate it to what we want - it's darker let's give gifts to cheer everyone up, have decorations, eat loads of good food. Halloween and Easter basically the same but a different excuse, any excuse for a party. New year here we like fireworks but don't know what to do this year, maybe just quiet and nice food. Will think of something lol, maybe Ice skate even though we said we'd give that a miss this year, dunno. I've got into a computer game so perhaps just play that - change for me.

I fell asleep for 2 hours. Just watched a good film and going back to sleep now. Rest is good this time of year anyway, it's cold and dark so gotta look after yourself.

Younger parts like to think of it like this "animals hibernate so why can't we" then a barrage of questions about how come we didn't evolve to hibernate and nobody wants to investigate that haha but pointing this out "we'd have to have fur all over us to be able to hibernate" usually shuts up the "how comes humans don't hibernate" stuff. But still it is a hibernation time of year which means staying in to sleep so we like to do that too.
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(Silent Lake : The Overlord/Mr BrightsideThe Whisperers (whisper whats outside), The Lightbringers (shine on parts to front), Martin and Janet (children with tails and wings)).
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Re: Do you have your own versions of holidays?

Postby Zor » Sat Dec 28, 2019 3:21 am

IDK about our own "versions"... but we do holidays inside with our inside family...

So like we have "4F" (four family) things we do- Angel's family, mine, Kitten's, and Kaleb/Katya's. We gather at the Cohen-Parker site, they are neighbors inside (Kaleb/Katya and Kitten's families), and all four of our families do special days together... Christmas dinner, New Year's Eve, usually at least one night during Hanukkah (cuz the Cohen family are Messianic Jewish), 4th of July, etc.

So we have the "normal" holidays, but we celebrate them inside- cuz for most of us until this was all known to all of us, it was our only "world". Some day, we'd LOVE to do them outside with family and friends that know all of us... but we'll see. It's a dream to hope for at least.

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