Glitching in and out

Sorry about the "glitching" term, I only have computer analogies available when the ones who know psychology terms aren't around (which was mostly Karen who regressed in the recent crisis).

It's like I'm glitching in and out. Its been going on for a while but I got caught out in it so it's making me give it attention.

I was upstairs and my bf got my phone from downstairs and handed it to me. He said you have a message, I read it. Then I went downstairs just a min later and was looking for my phone. He asked "what are you doing" I said I'm looking for my phone and he said "you left it upstairs where I gave it to you" I didn't believe him for a moment and then he said "you read a message" and then I saw myself in my mind's eye with the phone and I knew he was right and I left it upstairs.

This has been happening with other things but I can't remember what they are. I was covering it because mostly I'm alone so it's only lieing to myself/denial/not noticing it properly.

I don't feel like I switched, on the one hand, but on the other hand I know I didn't read the message. But somebody read the message.

It feels like a glitch. Someone is glitching in and out.

On top of that I often have this presence with me. He's an old man, retired, quite calming. He likes to sort the recycling, socks, make sandwiches and wrap them in the correct amount of foil. He's content and happy with little things in life. But, like the rest of my system, he leans towards criminally minded. He's some type of retired gangster. He won't say his name. He knows he's in a female body, best hide out ever is how he sees it. He has very good self esteem, which is good because most of my alters have bad self esteem although they deny it. He doesn't take over, he's a feeling. He likes this modern song because the lyrics are "the rules are kind of different when you're bad and out the game" but mostly he likes music like Paul, old country music, other old music I can't remember. He's definitely not Paul or any other male character in my system. He's a feeling not a take over. It's a very settled, secure, feels good about things feeling. He's been around alot since crisis but again I've been ignoring him because of his crazy background story/internal life. I feel like if I ignore their background or internal life then they'll disappear but it doesn't work, I don't know why I keep doing it. If he did take over the body he wouldn't do much, he's not a threat, I'm not worried about him just sort of aknowledging him while I worry about the glitches.

Maybe he is to do with the glitches. With me it often feels like different parts deal with text and calls and email etc anyway. Maybe it's Sue. I don't know.

Is glitches common? Is it a warning sign of anything? Should I worry or try to do something?

Thanks

Sorry for the inconvenience. I have a bad memory. I'm old. Grey.

Some stupid $#%^ from work triggering the $#%^ out of me but I'd intended to respond here and say that's normal to me. Glitches, lag, packets getting dropped especially when interfacing with the outside world. I used to think I was just very absent-minded.

Sorry to interrupt here;

Sara - I've revised the paradigm.

I'm interested in your viewpoints when you get a moment,

narcissistic-personality/topic215356.html

I think it's probably always been like this rather than got worse. I think I'm noticing it more. I panicked when I went to pick my son up from school because I couldn't remember dropping him off. I thought "omg did I drop him off. Where is he. Did somebody else drop him off" Then by the time I got home I had pictures in my mind of the morning, chatting to another mother, talking to my son about his lunch.

Maybe it has got worse but I think it's more likely that I'm noticing it more for some reason. Usually I'm so "in the moment" in the pattern of the day that earlier doesn't come to mind.

myce wrote:Some stupid $#%^ from work triggering the $#%^ out of me but I'd intended to respond here and say that's normal to me. Glitches, lag, packets getting dropped especially when interfacing with the outside world. I used to think I was just very absent-minded.

I was called scatter brained, indecisive, clumsy. I used to think I just forgot stuff then remembered it. That I couldn't make up my mind easily because I didn't know what I wanted.

I've realised it's not that. This morning someone else walked my son to school. I remember saying (thinking in the brain) "don't talk to that woman because she's talking to her kid" I see that as really important and usually go through times tables with my son walking to school. But whoever walked him didn't care about that, they asked this other mother about her work and spoke about earrings. I was quite annoyed really. But all I knew at the time was "don't..." Then I was squashed out so I have no personal memory of that walk and pictures and information about what "I" did. Its very frustrating.

Interesting that you observed there is someone else. I never really thought of it that way, but... erm. They say "we're not allowed to have DID" and that's like a barrier of some sort. I'm not sure what they mean but I've been trying to figure it out for awhile. It has multiple meanings. So I just think I'm sort of one Front and Sentinel (and whoever the rest of us are talking to ourselves) because it's kind of frightening to contemplate how many there might be. It's very debilitating, whatever it is. I can't stay focused or interested enough to master complex skills and retain the information.

myce wrote:Interesting that you observed there is someone else. I never really thought of it that way, but... erm. They say "we're not allowed to have DID" and that's like a barrier of some sort. I'm not sure what they mean but I've been trying to figure it out for awhile. It has multiple meanings. So I just think I'm sort of one Front and Sentinel (and whoever the rest of us are talking to ourselves) because it's kind of frightening to contemplate how many there might be. It's very debilitating, whatever it is. I can't stay focused or interested enough to master complex skills and retain the information.

Yeah, it's really scary to think how many parts there could be. I'm thinking it was No-one who walked to school yesterday because of the clothes and the jewelry and the chatting. When thinking about it just now somebody said "that woman is in the same boat as us" which she has also quit full time work to take a part time shop job due to children. So I can see how it helped chatting to her, we don't feel like a freak who is doing things purely because of mental health. But it might not have been no-one so in which case I dunno who it was. No-one can just squash people out, she can resist the twins too, and used to just take the body and do whatever she wanted so really it's good she just had a chat and then ran alot of errands. Or that might have been another day but I'm remembering it in sequence. It was two days but same alter.

We have a similar skill issue. Some parts have alot of psychological knowledge, we did college. Other parts have mechanical knowledge, college and work - mostly Patrick and he's really good at turning up to do mechanical stuff and going again. But other parts, the psychology parts, the computer parts, they are not so easy in coming and going. They are still like full switches and no easy switch back. Patrick literally can step in and then say "ok going now" and he's gone - back to the pub, he's been drinking alot internally lately.

So because of all this I'm doing a job pretty much everyone can master. And so far it's enjoyable, less stress and less tired so home life is better too. I call it "being kind to myself" I might not ever reach "my full potential" in any area of knowledge or skill but I decided a long time ago daily well being is more important.

You are allowed DID. I know it might not help someone just saying it but I'm saying it anyway - You are allowed DID.