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Being Blocked Out Or Disconnecting From Inner World

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Being Blocked Out Or Disconnecting From Inner World

Postby LucyTate » Fri Nov 29, 2019 4:37 am

Michael - 17 - Original

Hello everyone! I hope you're all doing really well.

So recently I've found it very difficult to enter my inner world. It's like there's a block or something. I'm wondering if it's possible to be "blocked out" by other alters, due to perhaps the system having problems they don't want me to see, or if I could be "blocking it out" myself somehow. Can you get stuck in the front? I've needed to not be the one in charge and we just haven't really been able to switch either. It's frustrating and kind of scary to me. It's also very difficult to communicate with everyone, it's like when I think I'm talking to them it doesn't feel or sound like them at all. This all happened after a personal incident I won't go into detail about with one of us a couple of days ago.

Thank you guys so much <3
-- Evan, 17, NB -- Eli, 16, NB -- Natalie, 20, F -- Harley, 25, F -- Lilly, 5, F -- Violetta, 6, F -- Riley, Teen?, ? -- Jasper, 4-6 (cat years), ? -- Jake, 14-15, M -- Drew, ?, M/F -- Domina, 35, F -- Jax, ?, M? -- Tenor, 8, M -- And others
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Re: Being Blocked Out Or Disconnecting From Inner World

Postby Amythyst » Fri Nov 29, 2019 9:45 am

Hey Michael,

Yeah we get front stuck all the time in our system. We also have like, 3 separate inner 'worlds' and theres only one i can get into. the other two are 'off limits' to me, and to most of us.

Sorry you're stuck, hopefully things will get sorted out soon.

Viola
Arin(22f); Charlie(6m); Claire(0f); Ewan(4m); Guardian(28m); Janet(4f); Kate(17/22f); L(∞f); Melissa(7f); Mike(35m); Nyssa(10f); Rebecca(∞f); Tegan(5f); Viola(17f); V1(22f); V2(16f); Waste(?); et al.
Dx: DID; previously depression, bipolar.(New) Journey ThreadThe Team
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Re: Being Blocked Out Or Disconnecting From Inner World

Postby LucyTate » Fri Nov 29, 2019 2:55 pm

Amythyst wrote:Hey Michael,

Yeah we get front stuck all the time in our system. We also have like, 3 separate inner 'worlds' and theres only one i can get into. the other two are 'off limits' to me, and to most of us.

Sorry you're stuck, hopefully things will get sorted out soon.

Viola



Thank you for this! Hopefully we will <3
-- Evan, 17, NB -- Eli, 16, NB -- Natalie, 20, F -- Harley, 25, F -- Lilly, 5, F -- Violetta, 6, F -- Riley, Teen?, ? -- Jasper, 4-6 (cat years), ? -- Jake, 14-15, M -- Drew, ?, M/F -- Domina, 35, F -- Jax, ?, M? -- Tenor, 8, M -- And others
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Re: Being Blocked Out Or Disconnecting From Inner World

Postby Floralie » Fri Nov 29, 2019 4:45 pm

I don't have access to inner world and am not trying to get it either, we agree about that with our T, that it's not my place, my place is in outside. Instead of getting me in, we try to get others out. This just to tell I'm not talking about personal experience about being blocked out suddenly. Because systems are different I still know many systems that are like yours, that all parts can go in and out, and sudden change of course tells about something. I think you're after something with that already. I'd try to find out what went wrong, who actually is triggered about what exactly and what to do about it.

I had some kind of block in thoughts in general for awhile once, every time I saw our T, I simply felt I've nothing to say. It went on for some time before I started thinking it was not just a thing that will stop and has no reason, but there's a reason behind it. Then I remembered about talking to T about things one part is scared of, like what triggers him, what's the thing he fears will happen in those situations when he can either get triggered and needs to get out or starts dissociating heavily instead. He's never met our T in person, at least not as himself, and since the fears are linked to his body, not to this outside body, or so I thought of, I told too much without having his consent about it. And after that the all-thoughts-blocked from my mind and nothing-to-say thing started.

Because of how our system works, I thought it's probably the defender that's blocking me, to protect that other part. And because I had not clue I'd done something wrong, he blocked me from everything, maybe he can't block me from saying just certain things, or maybe it was for me to realize and learn not to talk too much without asking first. Fully agree he was right, I did wrong. However I knew it was probably the defender and not the part I had talked too much of. And we sort it out with defender and the block was gone next time I saw our T. And of course promised not to talk about things that someone is not comfortable talking about against their will.

That was different kind of block, but they probably have a reason and all I've learned about DID so far tells me that all the reasons in the end are about safety. Just need to figure out what was not safe in what happened in someone's opinion, and that's probably the cause.

(That view can be heavily influenced by the fact that our defender is in a way closest part to me, so that may not be the only truth about everything, however, thinking it that way has helped me a lot. Can be also a thing in our system more heavily than other systems, because all parts in our system do get along and there's no problems like that, so they're more likely to be safety issues than personal fight over who wants what etc. Although I think more extreme ways, like blocking, are for safety things, and not for disagreements in general.)

Maybe thing things like who is able to cause a thing like this to happen and how can that part be involved and why. Or is it automatic reaction that can happen without any parts will, and what can cause that to happen and why. Can there be subsystems inside, or part who are close for some other reason, and when one group is more active, you may have less access because you belong to another group?

It would be easier to think if we'd know what happened, but we still aren't in your system and can't know parts and how they feel about things. It would be interesting to get to know what was the cause and the end result, just to learn, if you're willing to share. Even if you don't wanna share in details, maybe could share in feelings etc.

Hope you get your things sorted out.
Floralie F main front
Sami M 16 (15-26) defender (trauma)
Lucas M 16 (19) bridge-builder, self care (trauma)
Leon M 4 (trauma?)
Ferro M 14/24 protector (trauma)
Rami M 25 inner protector/caretaker manager
Anastasia F 26 inner caretaker, female sexuality
Jules M 11 main trauma holder with DID
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Re: Being Blocked Out Or Disconnecting From Inner World

Postby Una+ » Fri Nov 29, 2019 10:11 pm

Situation normal.
Dx DID older woman married w kids. 0 Una, host + 3, 1, 5. 1 animal. 2 older man. 3 teen girl. 4 girl behind amnesia wall. 5 girl in love. Our thread.
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