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Do your alters talk past the moment

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Do your alters talk past the moment

Postby Rive » Fri Nov 29, 2019 2:50 am

Sometimes after like 5 minutes my alters will mention something. For example I fed some goats today. Little goats. I often get chatter that says that's just a baby. Today I fed then then like 5 minutes later a thought that was not mine said that goat was just a baby. Do your alters ever speak after the fact.
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Re: Do your alters talk past the moment

Postby TheGangsAllHere » Fri Nov 29, 2019 4:27 am

When your daughter was little, did she ever talk about whatever she had just done or whatever had just happened? I'd be surprised if she didn't. I don't know why you're asking questions about things that are just normal human behavior. If you took a 3 year old to feed goats and they were quiet while they were doing it, just taking in what was happening, and then 5 minutes later they talked about how the goat was just a baby would you find that strange?
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Re: Do your alters talk past the moment

Postby Allcoulors » Fri Nov 29, 2019 11:57 am

Most of the talk inside is past the moment.
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Re: Do your alters talk past the moment

Postby Rive » Fri Nov 29, 2019 1:01 pm

I would find it strange if she thought about it in a baby voice and she wasn't a child. I was just asking because alot of people with DID describe their alters commenting on things in the moment. Mine always seem past the moment.
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Re: Do your alters talk past the moment

Postby Dwelt » Fri Nov 29, 2019 6:30 pm

Rive wrote: I was just asking because alot of people with DID describe their alters commenting on things in the moment. Mine always seem past the moment.


Most of us have high anxiety and will go back thinking about events that happened during the day, commenting them, thinking about how we could have done better, etc.

So yeah, we can have comments, thoughts and feelings before, on and after the moment things happen. Now, it's easier for to one who front to hear the comments on the moment, when the reaction is the strongest, of after it, when they have time to pay attention to the inside.

Dissociation can also delay the time between the event and the emotional response.

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Re: Do your alters talk past the moment

Postby Floralie » Fri Nov 29, 2019 7:25 pm

Rive wrote:I would find it strange if she thought about it in a baby voice and she wasn't a child. I was just asking because alot of people with DID describe their alters commenting on things in the moment. Mine always seem past the moment.


You are asking about a part that is a child, you realize that don't you? And Gangs asked if you'd find that weird behavior from an outside child, not from an adult who is not talking with their own voice. Child parts are talking with their own voice. They have babylike voices because they're young. They are not you thinking things in different voice.

It was not so long ago, when your reason to not believe in DID was the fact they don't have their own voices, they're just like your thoughts, no difference. There is a difference, other people do not have child voices in their minds. It was not that long ago either when your reason to not believe they're real parts was the fact they don't comment on your outside life, only talk what is nonsense from our point of view. Now you do hear their voices and they try to talk with you about outside things. When will you actually be happy about what they do and how, and not judge them at all?

I don't get what you try to say with your comment about babylike voice although not a child, when you're talking about a part who is a child. That does not make any sense. They are children, littles are children, that's why they act like children, and there's nothing weird in it. That little acted like any child. I really hope that you acted like an adult, and were happy they talked to you, answered welcoming, loving way and created communication, instead of finding mistakes in them, what they say, where, when and how. You really had a chance there, I really hope you did not hurt them with this kind of stuff.
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Re: Do your alters talk past the moment

Postby Rive » Fri Nov 29, 2019 8:21 pm

I'm talking about thoughts not voices. I don't hear voices. It sounds like me thinking, it's my voice-thoughts but
I sound in my head (thoughts not voices) like I am talking like a child. They don't feel like me though because it's not what I am thinking at the moment and because it's like a child. I'm very confused.

Also, I'm just confused because my T says I shouldn't focus so much on whether I'm DID and just treat everything like the parts everyone has (IFS) She says I'm in my head to much worrying about if I'm DID. She said just to check in 3 to 4 times a day. She is still giving it time constraints . When I do check in they dont say anything. Maybe they dont like time constraints. She said Thorne could just be like a part (Not an alter) that is just that way because I always felt my mom perceived me as bad so Thorne is bad. All good or all bad thinking. I don't think I have actually ever switched. I just feel different when Thornes out. She just feels all this bad excitement from things I don't think is funny. I think my therapist is just saying that Thorne may be a (part not alter) that holds all the bad feelings about myself. I don't know if this IFS stuff is going to help of hinder me. I mean maybe she is just a part that everyone has.
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Re: Do your alters talk past the moment

Postby TheGangsAllHere » Fri Nov 29, 2019 9:37 pm

Rive wrote:I sound in my head (thoughts not voices) like I am talking like a child. They don't feel like me though because it's not what I am thinking at the moment and because it's like a child. I'm very confused.


Many of us have told you many times that this is a very common way that alters sound. So I don’t know why you are still confused. What you describe is how it often feels to me. It’s not what I’m thinking, and it’s with a child’s vocabulary and phrasing. When I hear that, I accept that it is a child, and I respond as I would to a child. “Yes, that was a baby goat. Wasn’t he cute? Did you like feeding him?”

Rive wrote: I don't think I have actually ever switched. I just feel different when Thornes out. She just feels all this bad excitement from things I don't think is funny.


That is a form of switching, or at least passive influence, or being co-conscious. It doesn’t really matter what you call it—it is sensing the presence of an alter and their feelings, which are different from yours. It’s feeling like you and your feelings are not alone in the front, or are even receding to the back a bit.
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Re: Do your alters talk past the moment

Postby Rive » Fri Nov 29, 2019 9:45 pm

Yes, I should of done that. I need to get better about that.

I'm more curious about how I would know that Thorne is an alter. Actually disquinished enough to be an alter if I've never switched and not just a part the way everyone has parts. Also, if it's going to help or hinder me to just to see them as parts everyone has. Like just an exaggerated part of me that's bad because I felt my mom perceived me as bad. Or an actual alter that is bad.
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Re: Do your alters talk past the moment

Postby Una+ » Fri Nov 29, 2019 9:59 pm

From the subject (title) of this thread I expected it to be about verbal deflection and distraction, avoidant behaviors. But it seems to be about commenting after the fact.

Yes, hearing comments after the fact is very common in DID. I have heard comments years after the fact.

Whatever Thorne is, what makes you think Thorne is "bad"? What does "bad" look like? What does "bad" say or do?
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