Our partner

Inner/outer world quandary

Dissociative Identity Disorder message board, open discussion, and online support group.

Moderators: Violarules, Johnny-Jack

Inner/outer world quandary

Postby Sarandipity » Wed Nov 27, 2019 8:14 pm

A part of me "watches" Rick and Morty "all the time" As far as I know I have watched that show once, two episodes one after the other when I was signed off sick from work.

At the time they said something like "yeah watch that it's great I watch it all the time" I even said it out loud to someone knowing that to me it's untrue.

Today adverts were on for new episodes. They said "oh good new episodes of Rick and Morty. I'm going to watch them" which is what made me remember this happening a few months ago.

Like I said as far as I know I don't watch that show other than once. I said this to them. They then showed me the body sitting watching Rick and Morty while eating snacks (I don't keep many snacks)and using the lap top. Which brings me to another thing that's been on my mind, my petrol is often lower than it should be, like someone has used the car but I have the only two keys so nobody is driving my car - this could be my mistake or a seperate issue.

So how do I know if they watching Rick and Morty externally or internally? I didn't know what it was till I was off sick but they said they watch it all the time.

Anyone have alters who internally watch TV shows you know nothing about? Also how is that possible? The brain just makes up the show or something? And how can I tell if they are internally watching or externally? If it's external it'd have to be at night when I think I'm asleep, if it's internal then it seems a strange internal life but who am I to judge that.
Main IW:
Obsidian
Beth KarenPatrickPeterRose
No-one Paul and Lilly
Terra Magicka: The Twins (Batcho and Fortune)Sue the secutary. Jane, a general memory bank.
(Silent Lake : The Overlord/Mr BrightsideThe Whisperers (whisper whats outside), The Lightbringers (shine on parts to front), Martin and Janet (children with tails and wings)).
Sarandipity
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 1398
Joined: Thu Jun 14, 2018 8:25 pm
Local time: Fri Dec 13, 2019 8:08 am
Blog: View Blog (2)


ADVERTISEMENT

Re: Inner/outer world quandary

Postby Floralie » Thu Nov 28, 2019 7:10 am

Or you're just losing time without being aware of it, like many people with DID are. When you think you sleep is nowhere near the only option, it can be anytime in the middle of anything. If it doesn't take too long, and your body is been put back exactly where it was and how it was, when it started, there's no way you're gonna know. Or if you DO realize, but have amnesia of amnesia and forget it as soon as you realized.
Floralie F main front
Sami M 16 (15-26) defender (trauma)
Lucas M 16 (19) bridge-builder, self care (trauma)
Leon M 4 (trauma?)
Ferro M 14/24 protector (trauma)
Rami M 25 inner protector/caretaker manager
Anastasia F 26 inner caretaker, female sexuality
Jules M 11 main trauma holder with DID
User avatar
Floralie
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 1053
Joined: Thu Aug 02, 2018 1:50 pm
Local time: Fri Dec 13, 2019 10:08 am
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: Inner/outer world quandary

Postby Sarandipity » Thu Nov 28, 2019 3:12 pm

Floralie wrote:Or you're just losing time without being aware of it, like many people with DID are. When you think you sleep is nowhere near the only option, it can be anytime in the middle of anything. If it doesn't take too long, and your body is been put back exactly where it was and how it was, when it started, there's no way you're gonna know. Or if you DO realize, but have amnesia of amnesia and forget it as soon as you realized.


Yes, that's true Floralie. I like to think I have a handle on awake hours but I know I don't because sometimes I'll be sitting in the kitchen and I'll have been there for 2 hours but it feels like less and if I've written here or been writing online it's ok, I can see what I've been doing but other times I have done nothing so maybe I'm watching cartoons.

I actually tried to watch Rick and Morty but I didn't make it the whole way through and sat downstairs and left the TV on. Which is what I think I did but then I wonder did I really sit watching it and I just internally sat in my kitchen. This is when it starts to mess with your head if you think about it too much. I suppose as long as I'm not doing anything harmful or dangerous it's not the end of the world.

I had this dream where I was watching myself tenner something another part was doing and I thought that's what dissociation is. It's taking bits of yourself away and then to reconnect you have to watch yourself or even watch yourself watching yourself. I know this is obvious - I can't get across the feeling of the dream properly. Like everything is there (memories etc) but you have so many parts that they are not there but it is all there - that's worse trying to explain it lol.

Like running several computer programs at once that have different on/off time stamps and different processors and different recording abilities. Somehow the whole machine functions but each program has a different data stream and different software so the same incident or words are decoded differently depending on the program used to decode them. And then depending on how that software works they have a data output that could be very different from eachother.

So today one data stream is saying "warning, are alone" another is saying "alone system healthy" another is saying "alone obtain more input" another is saying "balancing system" another is scanning for viruses, another is ad blocking etc etc etc Reading one program won't say enough to understand the whole machine let alone the network.

I dunno, I'm probably over thinking.
Main IW:
Obsidian
Beth KarenPatrickPeterRose
No-one Paul and Lilly
Terra Magicka: The Twins (Batcho and Fortune)Sue the secutary. Jane, a general memory bank.
(Silent Lake : The Overlord/Mr BrightsideThe Whisperers (whisper whats outside), The Lightbringers (shine on parts to front), Martin and Janet (children with tails and wings)).
Sarandipity
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 1398
Joined: Thu Jun 14, 2018 8:25 pm
Local time: Fri Dec 13, 2019 8:08 am
Blog: View Blog (2)


Return to Dissociative Identity Disorder Forum




  • Related articles
    Replies
    Views
    Last post

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: birdsong87, MSN [Bot], TheRoseSystem and 45 guests