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Please Help - First Blackout?

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Please Help - First Blackout?

Postby LucyTate » Thu Nov 21, 2019 5:52 am

I'll explain using "I, myself, me" to make it less complicated. I think I'm Michael. At least I was before this happened.

I was sitting alone in my room recounting times that's could've been traumatic for me, when an old memory I guess I had pushed back resurfaced. I thought it was kind of not a big deal to me, even though it did scare me a lot, and thought I was being over dramatic or something. I tried to recount it out loud, but ended up stopping abruptly and got this really weird sensation like my eyes were shutting and although the room was dark I couldn't tell if my eyes were open or shut. It was like a was seeing these shapes and movement and it made me think maybe I wasn't deeper into my inner world or something.

When I came back, I was mostly Riley. Well, Riley was driving. They being the reckless being they are, attempted to flippantly recount it too like a joke and it happened again. This time I came to and I'm not sure who I am exactly. Michael is still here, but now some person who really likes birds but i think they're gone?

I feel so lost. My head hurts and feels fuzzy. I don't know exactly what happened but I'm kind of scared and I jus think don't want my boyfriend to be scared that I'm my me pro leave me I'm just really scared. Thank you guys so much <3 I'm seeing my T tomorrow. I'll definitely bring this up but I need some advice and stuff if anyone can.
-- Evan, 17, NB -- Eli, 16, NB -- Natalie, 20, F -- Harley, 25, F -- Lilly, 5, F -- Violetta, 6, F -- Riley, Teen?, ? -- Jasper, 4-6 (cat years), ? -- Jake, 14-15, M -- Drew, ?, M/F -- Domina, 35, F -- Jax, ?, M? -- Tenor, 8, M -- And others
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Re: Please Help - First Blackout?

Postby Johnny-Jack » Thu Nov 21, 2019 3:33 pm

I'm not sure but it sounds as if some dissociative walls are breaking down but you're unfamiliar with the input you're getting so not sure how to interpret it. A lot of us get a lot more confused and things feel more chaotic at the beginning of awareness of DID and other alters.
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Re: Please Help - First Blackout?

Postby LucyTate » Thu Nov 21, 2019 6:07 pm

Johnny-Jack wrote:I'm not sure but it sounds as if some dissociative walls are breaking down but you're unfamiliar with the input you're getting so not sure how to interpret it. A lot of us get a lot more confused and things feel more chaotic at the beginning of awareness of DID and other alters.


This is good to know, it makes sense. Maybe when I talk it over with my T we can better figure it out, I'll keep this in mind, definitely. Thanks so much! <3
-- Evan, 17, NB -- Eli, 16, NB -- Natalie, 20, F -- Harley, 25, F -- Lilly, 5, F -- Violetta, 6, F -- Riley, Teen?, ? -- Jasper, 4-6 (cat years), ? -- Jake, 14-15, M -- Drew, ?, M/F -- Domina, 35, F -- Jax, ?, M? -- Tenor, 8, M -- And others
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