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Medication?

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Medication?

Postby Zor » Wed Nov 20, 2019 7:43 pm

Thought about posting this in the other thread, but it's kind of its own thing, so...

Anyhow, we saw the psychiatrist yesterday, too... for the mood swings and all... he is wanting to put us on Zoloft or Prozac.

Hasn't yet, but it was the focus of his discussion (not that it was long). Not sure how I feel about that, being on something like that full-time (and he meant literally a daily dose kind of prescription). I think it'll be brought up again in a few months when we go back to see him again, after we've had time to look at them and do some research of our own (I DO like that he suggests that and is not pushing the meds and is willing to be patient and not try and pressure about them).

Anyone have experience with that? Does it help the mood swings, the ups and downs, and level things? Does it hinder or hurt other aspects of living with all this?
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Re: Medication?

Postby Sarandipity » Wed Nov 20, 2019 10:17 pm

Everyone reacts differently but I can tell you roughly how it effected me.

I was on an antipsychotic at night and Prozac in the morning for about 5 years. The psychiatrist weaned me off the antipsychotic first and then the Prozac.

For me at that time I was emotionless, I had no feelings of hunger either, I would sleep easily for 10-14 hours a day including naps (on the antipsychotic so he put me on Prozac which reduced the napping so then 10 hours a day approx). I didn't have wants, I was like a robot.

Anti-anxiety medication I was on very briefly when I stupidly took a prescription from a general nurse and I smashed up a pub and bit a police officer. That was bad.

Prozac was probably the least troublesome although it did stop my appetite and did, while I was only on that, stop my sleeping which is ok unless you have trouble sleeping which I do sometimes if not on a sleeping drug and it could effect you differently.

Also I went onto the meds during a relationship break up. When I stopped the meds (Inc Prozac) i felt like I'd just had the breakup and it wasn't 5 years previously and I had to go through all the emotions of that relationship ending which was awful and I felt stupid because it had ended 5 years before and I was in another relationship. So it can suppress emotions but in my experience they will come out at some point - time alone did not heal the wound.

Beth thrived on the Prozac because she's more depressed. We were following her goals then and studying Chemistry. Karen was up at night, I forgot that or hadn't put the two together, at that point because that was when the calls from unknown men were happening during the day asking for Karen and she must of been chatting online at night and giving our phone number - I might have been wrong about the ten hours sleep.

It's difficult to know but I'm trying to piece together how it was. It was a long time ago. Personally I find avoiding meds is better. It's better to try to work with feelings and parts who have those feelings. But everyone is different and they could really help you which you won't know unless you try I guess.
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Re: Medication?

Postby Zor » Thu Nov 21, 2019 6:58 pm

Sarandipity wrote:It's difficult to know but I'm trying to piece together how it was. It was a long time ago. Personally I find avoiding meds is better. It's better to try to work with feelings and parts who have those feelings. But everyone is different and they could really help you which you won't know unless you try I guess.


Thanks (clipped it for easier reading for others). I appreciate all that... this "no meds is better" is generally my view, too... but I _think_ we might go ahead and TRY it... worst case, we don't like how it feels and/or affects us, and we stop in a few months, right?

There's a bit of a discussion internally about it- since this is kind of a major thing, I'm trying to get others to weigh in, too.
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Re: Medication?

Postby Floralie » Thu Nov 21, 2019 8:18 pm

We were on Zoloft for more than a decade. It started from 50mg, then we got depressed again and had 100mg, then got depressed again and after that it was full dose 200mg for more than ten years. There's few days when it starts to kick in, when it's started or dose gets higher, when there was clear feeling of feeling good and very energetic. But that's only couple of days, it's a side-effect that settles down. When having that side effect I had mental energy like normal person and thought how great it would be like that always, generally feeling happy and having a need to do stuff instead of avoiding everything. But no, that was just a side-effect.

In our case I stopped taking it myself cold turkey (should not be done like that, but by lowering the dosage), and then we fell really deep for few weeks, didn't get out of bed, I showered like once in a week or less, and I need to shower once a day to be clean because of how our hair etc are. But I knew it was from stopping meds like they're not supposed to, so it was self inflicted and thing that's gonna pass anyway, and it did, like depressions always do.

Reason why I stopped it was that we still had depressions coming and going like always, there was no difference if we were on meds or not. So I thought then rather not when there's no real effect. It just felt helpful at first because of the side-effect for that few days and seems like it's helping, but in long run it did nothing. Actually when we got ourselves up from that ending the meds stupid way depression, we were feeling better than with meds.

We don't have sudden big mood swings, just depression that comes and goes. For us, to that, there really was no long term effect at all. In the end we aren't suffering from an illness called depression, it's just one symptom inside another dx. We had the medication then without therapy, it was not gonna heal us. That's pretty clear now it could not heal us, but it didn't have any effect to how often or how deeply we get depressed at all either, when it could not be dosed higher anymore. In the end, for us it was just useless.

Nothing stops you from trying if you feel there's unbearable symptoms you can get relief to. Just pay attention if it really does that, or if symptoms have a life of their own for you like they have for us, and it's not up to any medication that symptoms are milder sometimes.

We've liked many meds short term and it has felt useful, but non of them has been that really long term. It can be different when you're in therapy and there's a real plan how to use it, to what and how to measure if it has effects at first and how to measure does it have that long term, and therapy is kind of supposed to make it useless in the end anyway.
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Re: Medication?

Postby Zor » Fri Nov 22, 2019 7:07 pm

Thanks for that input Floralie. We appreciate it.

None of us are thrilled with the idea of a long-term, much less permanent, daily medication... but I think at the moment at least, we're leaning towards "It can't hurt to try"... at least as long as things are as tough and unsettled as they have been lately come next Feb when we see this doc again.
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Re: Medication?

Postby Amythyst » Fri Nov 22, 2019 7:30 pm

Hey Zor,

We're kinda on the fence about sharing this... but ok. here's our experiences -

We haven't been on either of the two you mentioned... we were on Paxil (similar to prozac) for a few years in the 90s. And we were on a combination of Wellbutrin and Citalopram around 10 years ago.

Both times it was to treat depression. Or manic-depressive, or bipolar. Different names, same thing.

*** trigger warning - mention of suididal thoughts ***

We've never had a good experience with any of these things. The paxil made us just numb and emotionless, like a robot. The citalopram gave us suicidal ideation in ways we never had it before. the wellbutrin was supposed to take care of the citalopram's suicidal thoughts stuff.

None of htem made us feel 'better', or even 'ok'. Just made us feel kinda numb and confused. I guess they made us wanna kill ourself a little less than before, except for the citalopram sideffect. :roll:

*** end trigger warning ***

This was all before we knew we were multiple... but in retrospect we suspect either the citalopram or wellbutrin interfered with inside communication stuff, because when we stopped taking those two, there was a sudden increase (return?) in dissociation & switching.

(Previous host didn't know what it was but she described what was happening on her blog etc and now we read her descriptions & know what she was talking about.)

Finally, alot of these kind of drugs, you can't just stop taking. Like once you get on it, if you wanna stop you hafta slowly wean off it. Just quitting can really mess you up... which is what happened to us.

Our psych doc gave us a 3 month rx then ###$ off on a 6 month sabbatical or something and we had no way to reach him for a renewal... so after like 2 years on the stuff we had to stop suddenly, and it nearly ######6 killed us. It was about 3 or 4 weeks of ######6 hell before the withdrawl effects were over.

Previous host swore never to take psych drugs again, and we're sticking with that plan.

I hope if you do decide to try these out, they will help all of you, and not make things worse or whatever.

Good luck.

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Re: Medication?

Postby Zor » Sat Nov 23, 2019 3:38 pm

Amythyst wrote:Hey Zor,

We're kinda on the fence about sharing this... but ok. here's our experiences -

We haven't been on either of the two you mentioned... we were on Paxil (similar to prozac) for a few years in the 90s. And we were on a combination of Wellbutrin and Citalopram around 10 years ago.

Both times it was to treat depression. Or manic-depressive, or bipolar. Different names, same thing.

*** trigger warning - mention of suididal thoughts ***

We've never had a good experience with any of these things. The paxil made us just numb and emotionless, like a robot. The citalopram gave us suicidal ideation in ways we never had it before. the wellbutrin was supposed to take care of the citalopram's suicidal thoughts stuff.

None of htem made us feel 'better', or even 'ok'. Just made us feel kinda numb and confused. I guess they made us wanna kill ourself a little less than before, except for the citalopram sideffect. :roll:

*** end trigger warning ***


We were on Paxil a long time ago for a cardiac reason - they THOUGHT the blackouts (physical loss of consciousness) were heart-related. That had a MASSIVE "muting" effect on emotion... it didn't cause FULL depression, but it did tend that direction. No ambition, no motivation, no desire, no drive... just blunted emotional awareness and expression... sleeping a ton, weight gain, etc... I HATED IT. I was glad to be off it.

_I_ am scared of anything making me feel that way... I already feel alone, isolated, struggling to feel "connected" and accepted... the LAST THING I want is more emotional manipulation to that kind of extent. It is VERY isolating and diminishing to have your emotional state driving you away from people (internally struggling with it)- and the emotional state being recognized by others and seen as off-putting ON TOP of your own internal struggles with it.

Amythyst wrote:
This was all before we knew we were multiple... but in retrospect we suspect either the citalopram or wellbutrin interfered with inside communication stuff, because when we stopped taking those two, there was a sudden increase (return?) in dissociation & switching.

(Previous host didn't know what it was but she described what was happening on her blog etc and now we read her descriptions & know what she was talking about.)

Finally, alot of these kind of drugs, you can't just stop taking. Like once you get on it, if you wanna stop you hafta slowly wean off it. Just quitting can really mess you up... which is what happened to us.


I am aware you can't just stop cold turkey easily, if at all... but the doc DID say if we try and it and DON'T like it, or it doesn't work, that he would NOT hesitate to get us off them quickly and safely. So I can appreciate that he's aware of that and willing to work WITH it, and with us in OUR assessment and desires when it comes to this.

Amythyst wrote:
Our psych doc gave us a 3 month rx then ###$ off on a 6 month sabbatical or something and we had no way to reach him for a renewal... so after like 2 years on the stuff we had to stop suddenly, and it nearly ######6 killed us. It was about 3 or 4 weeks of ######6 hell before the withdrawl effects were over.

Previous host swore never to take psych drugs again, and we're sticking with that plan.

I hope if you do decide to try these out, they will help all of you, and not make things worse or whatever.

Good luck.

Viola


Thanks for that input. It's certainly a sobering and concerning account that we are appreciative for- since it is something that COULD happen to others, including us.

This IS a decision _I_ am not making alone- Pixie is talking with others, and we're going to do this as a team- whether we decide to try it or not. We're still very much undecided... and most of us have yet to give an opinion.
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Re: Medication?

Postby TheGangsAllHere » Sat Nov 23, 2019 4:10 pm

Do you have mood swings? Or just changes in mood due to the influences of different alters? Because rapid changes in mood due to different identities taking over or exerting influence is not the same as changes in mood from a mood disorder in a singleton.

Are you, Zor, having days of depression (lethargy, sadness, hopelessness) followed by days of manic activity (needing less sleep, feeling exuberant, starting projects, behaving impulsively)? Or are different parts expressing themselves during the course of a day? Emotional flashbacks or the different moods of other alters are not mood swings.

You would need the doc to be very clear about what his target symptoms are. Prozac and Zoloft are not for "mood swings," they are for depression and/or anxiety. Meds for mood swings are more heavy duty, like lithium, Lamictal, Tegretol, Depakote, or even more heavy duty like Abilify, Seroquel, etc. They are all daily meds--none of them are "as needed."

The only meds that directly help with PTSD symptoms are clonidine and Prasozin. I don't know much about the second one, but clonidine can be really helpful for sleep and for hyperarousal during the day (that means being easily pushed out of your zone of tolerance--easily upset, easily startled, and other PTSD-type symptoms). A psychiatrist at the VA should know all about those two meds and have experience with them. He's probably not thinking of your symptoms as being related to PTSD, but with DID, most of the troubling symptoms are PTSD-related.

(Info provided for educational purposes only :D )
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Re: Medication?

Postby Zor » Sun Nov 24, 2019 2:01 pm

TheGangsAllHere wrote:Do you have mood swings? Or just changes in mood due to the influences of different alters? Because rapid changes in mood due to different identities taking over or exerting influence is not the same as changes in mood from a mood disorder in a singleton.

Are you, Zor, having days of depression (lethargy, sadness, hopelessness) followed by days of manic activity (needing less sleep, feeling exuberant, starting projects, behaving impulsively)? Or are different parts expressing themselves during the course of a day? Emotional flashbacks or the different moods of other alters are not mood swings.

You would need the doc to be very clear about what his target symptoms are. Prozac and Zoloft are not for "mood swings," they are for depression and/or anxiety. Meds for mood swings are more heavy duty, like lithium, Lamictal, Tegretol, Depakote, or even more heavy duty like Abilify, Seroquel, etc. They are all daily meds--none of them are "as needed."

The only meds that directly help with PTSD symptoms are clonidine and Prasozin. I don't know much about the second one, but clonidine can be really helpful for sleep and for hyperarousal during the day (that means being easily pushed out of your zone of tolerance--easily upset, easily startled, and other PTSD-type symptoms). A psychiatrist at the VA should know all about those two meds and have experience with them. He's probably not thinking of your symptoms as being related to PTSD, but with DID, most of the troubling symptoms are PTSD-related.

(Info provided for educational purposes only :D )



That's some great information, and I thank you very much for it.

As to your question(s)... Honestly, I don't know how to answer them. I don't know if it's influence or disturbance due to someone inside "bleeding over" into my emotional state, or if it's stress and emotional distress in ME b/c of that, or the situation... I don't know I've ever had the "manic" side of what you describe though... more like the "normal" drive and ability to get stuff done... and either anxiety-ridden stressed out mess of a time or just too depressed to do anything at all, except try and keep from going to sleep.

What I DO know is that I've had terrible sleep since the start of October, plagued by nightmares- and this could be part of the problem, too... Nearly half the nights in November, following a literal 20 nights with nightmares in October. This is causing the periodic anxiety, restlessness, and depression symptoms (lack of interest, motivation, the "down" feelings, etc) to be even more common and persistent. These feelings and problems exist many days, I haven't kept count, and where they used to be periodic, lasting an hour or two at most... they go on all day, or for days now... even with others coming and going- sometimes causing or provoking someone else (generally Pixie- she's by far the most active aside from myself) being out a bit more, upwards of 6-8 hours in a given day in the extreme (typically I "lose time" for a total of about 4-5 hours a day).

The "as needed" stuff the doc has me on NOW isn't helping like it used. It's Hydroxyzine that they have me on now, and that is "as needed". The Zoloft or Prozac would be a daily thing, period.

What you said about PTSD symptoms... given the nightmares, and the sleep troubles THOSE cause, and the waking flashbacks (very rare compared to the nightmares, which are excessive lately)... maybe that is something to look into and bring up with this doc when I see him in Feb. I am making a not of this in our bullet journal (got a page set aside for doc questions/topics to bring up with him/them).
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Re: Medication?

Postby Allcoulors » Sun Nov 24, 2019 8:14 pm

Im on topamax for the ptsd symptoms. Anti epileptics.
Also had prozac for 2 years, worked well for us as a system.
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