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Singing Part

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Re: Singing Part

Postby Johnny-Jack » Tue Nov 26, 2019 1:07 am

Aside from what the littles recall, I can remember my mother singing and she always seemed happiest then, although I didn't know that was a distinct alter. She also sang to us a lot when we were sick, so there was some positive caretaking or I'm sure I'd be far less functional than I have been.

I know I have DID because of the abuse perpetrated by both parents and the impossibility of safely and consistently bonding with them or of integrating the traumatic experiences they created. We have DID not because the parents had it but because of the abuse.

I've never read about a case of DID happening because one (or more) parent or caretaker had DID yet didn't abuse or neglect their child. No study I've read has suggested children get DID as a sort of reflection of their parents' DID. It sounds like something that could happen but I'd think there would be some case study somewhere.

If a parent had DID, didn't abuse their child, but did switch to alters who were non-responsive or absent for long periods of time when their child needed them, this would qualify as neglect. Our mother did wander away and leave us in public "countless times" (per Sphinx) when we were small. Henry and Scott came specifically to handle things for us when that happened and our host Johnny began as an alter during one such incident.

There's considerable evidence in my family that the ability to dissociate and the tendency to use that as a defense mechanism is biologically inherited. Many of my relatives have shown signs of dissociation and I'm sure that some have DID.
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Re: Singing Part

Postby Sarandipity » Tue Nov 26, 2019 6:37 pm

Johnny-Jack wrote:Aside from what the littles recall, I can remember my mother singing and she always seemed happiest then, although I didn't know that was a distinct alter. She also sang to us a lot when we were sick, so there was some positive caretaking or I'm sure I'd be far less functional than I have been.

I know I have DID because of the abuse perpetrated by both parents and the impossibility of safely and consistently bonding with them or of integrating the traumatic experiences they created. We have DID not because the parents had it but because of the abuse.

I've never read about a case of DID happening because one (or more) parent or caretaker had DID yet didn't abuse or neglect their child. No study I've read has suggested children get DID as a sort of reflection of their parents' DID. It sounds like something that could happen but I'd think there would be some case study somewhere.

If a parent had DID, didn't abuse their child, but did switch to alters who were non-responsive or absent for long periods of time when their child needed them, this would qualify as neglect. Our mother did wander away and leave us in public "countless times" (per Sphinx) when we were small. Henry and Scott came specifically to handle things for us when that happened and our host Johnny began as an alter during one such incident.

There's considerable evidence in my family that the ability to dissociate and the tendency to use that as a defense mechanism is biologically inherited. Many of my relatives have shown signs of dissociation and I'm sure that some have DID.


That makes sense. I was worried for a while that with my eldest it was learnt behaviour and the others would follow but I have seen no signs of that with them that I see with him. So I do think it's to do with his first 5 years. I beat myself up about it alot until a social worker pointed out if I kept beating myself up about it then I would have less energy to help him at that present time, he was about 14 at that point and that was his most troublesome age. The difference between him and the younger ones is very obvious, from the friends they have to their attitude to life to how they cope with school stressors. So it does make it harder to go into denial again about my parents and family because the main difference is the younger ones had no contact with my extended family and significantly reduced and monitored contact with my parents. Also by the time my eldest was 5 I had learnt several different parenting models so my parenting became overall healthy instead of hit and miss.

I do wonder if some of my cousin's have DID because as children they had terrible memories and difficult behaviour but it was all put down to dyslexia. My sister has been diagnosed with severe anxiety and autism but again I think it's DID, she lives in complete denial about our mother still.

I'm not sure about genetic elements. I would guess all children can dissociate so the abuse causes it to become maladaptive. I did wonder if it could be learnt, young children picking up that a parent has alters but now you say it like that it's doubtful. Also when I have tried to explain my dissorder to my teenage children they thought I was lieing, they just see mum I suppose, even though at first I thought they must notice. It's a disorder of hiding though I guess and I might not have been able to learn those parenting classes so well without it perhaps.

Feeling really down about DID the last few days, wanting it to go away but really for me without it I probably would have been as abusive as my parents. That would be worse.

Thanks for explaining your experience Johnny Jack.
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