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Question about memories

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Question about memories

Postby everyone23 » Tue Nov 12, 2019 3:14 pm

My memory can get so jumbled, with other part's memory of the same events mixed in with mine, but on top of that their memories are often of something I know did not happen. Like I remember one time in therapy, the therapist was saying something upsetting and it had triggered out a part who thought the therapist was browbeating him and trying to trick him and he remembered sitting hunched over on a stool with her leaning over him and the stool was in a different part of the room than I normally sit...there is no stool there. So MY memories of the event are separate from his. and I can see that he is remembering the content of what the therapist said correctly, but he is remembering his position relative to her and to the room in a way that could not have happened. She was not leaning over me either, she sits across from me always. Does anyone else have that? Why are they remembering their position so oddly? Sometimes it seems like it is another part but not always...I sometimes will remember it as though it is me and I am walking around the room or standing in a particular part of the room. I asked the therapist about whether I had been standing or walking around one time and she said no. It is confusing and it is scary about the validity of my memories in general.

I also remember walking out of the bathroom at home, talking out loud to myself, and walking straight into the therapist's office still talking, being completely startled to look up and see her and then I was gone. I one time had what I understood to be a lot of part's memory of the same event at the same time and I don't know why it happened that time, but it was really overwhelming like this huge sensory mosaic, and it has not happened again. I am not sure why it happened then.
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Re: Question about memories

Postby ganjakites » Thu Nov 14, 2019 1:04 am

Don't associate to touch for memories, just use the ponta approach is just some form of reassurance expecially if you ask them to explain
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Re: Question about memories

Postby everyone23 » Thu Nov 14, 2019 5:24 am

Thank you, Ganjakites, for responding to my question. I was puzzled by the strange way I was remembering things and wondered if anyone else remembered things oddly. Guess not.
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Re: Question about memories

Postby Amythyst » Thu Nov 14, 2019 11:26 am

Hey everyone23,

Some of the stuff you described sounds kinda like dreams? Like the way stuff kinda blurs from one thing to another, and perceptions are like skewed and stuff.

I'm wondering if maybe the wierd memories are from alters seeing stuff in a dreamlike way when they're not fronting?

We don't seem to 'save' memories when we're not fronting, so we don't usually get like dual-perspectives on things like that. If we try to remember something that happened when we're coconsious but not fronting, it does come up sorta dreamlike, fuzzy, faded, but we only get one perspective, from the one who was fronting at the time.

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Re: Question about memories

Postby everyone23 » Thu Nov 14, 2019 2:09 pm

That makes sense Viola. I remember for sure that the little boy part who thought the therapist was leaning over him trying to browbeat and trick him was NOT fronting. When the incident occurred, I was fronting but I felt him there I just didn’t recognize that he was there until later because I was so focused on the therapist. So he was nearby but not out. And when I started trying to remember what happened, what came up were his memories of the situation.
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Re: Question about memories

Postby Zor » Thu Nov 14, 2019 6:08 pm

Amythyst wrote:
I'm wondering if maybe the wierd memories are from alters seeing stuff in a dreamlike way when they're not fronting?



I was thinking that or maybe like how the others remember it from being aware or fully co-con for some of it... OR if, like our superhero games memories, the host and others were in and out during the same time/incidents... so the memories are connected but apart, yet blend together... Cuz if you were to like get a complete "timeline" of the incident, it'd have part one person, part the next, and back and forth to get a full "timeline" of the event... ???

So could be blending and feeling "dream like" cuz parts of the memory are memory but not YOUR memories and how others, as Viola said, remember it.

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Re: Question about memories

Postby everyone23 » Thu Nov 14, 2019 6:23 pm

Thanks Amythyst. I think that makes sense, too. There are varying degrees of consciousness for me depending on who is out so it makes sense that the memories would vary in point of view, clarity and so forth.
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Re: Question about memories

Postby Sarandipity » Thu Nov 14, 2019 8:09 pm

If I have two perspectives on a memory it's usually what happened plus the perspective of someone standing next to me or behind me.

How a younger part perceives something is usually from a lower hieght even if the person is the same height or smaller. They will see it like they were looking up even if they couldn't be looking up. Haven't had an added seat or something before but perhaps that part was often sitting on a stool when told off as a child?.. so to them they're always sitting on a stool and an adult is always leaning over? Was there a stool you say on often as a child?
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Re: Question about memories

Postby everyone23 » Thu Nov 14, 2019 11:02 pm

Hi Sarandipity. I started to say I didn't remember sitting on a stool but then I remembered sitting at the table many many times and what happened there. I am pretty sure that's why he is seeing himself on a stool with the therapist leaning over him. Thank you! I would not have made that connection if you hadn't asked about the stool.
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