Our partner

Problems

Dissociative Identity Disorder message board, open discussion, and online support group.

Moderators: Violarules, Johnny-Jack

Problems

Postby Ponyta » Tue Oct 08, 2019 4:59 pm

More are showing up. I'm feeling overwhelmed by it. I feel as if I'm going completely crazy.....worse than ever. For some reason I worry I'm "making it all up"......but why would I? There's way too much evidence I'm not......but still that feeling won't leave me alone.

No wonder Weirdo didn't want me to know about the other areas yet. Now the residents from those areas are coming over. How lovely. I mean....I want to get to know them.......BUT all at once is really taking a toll.

Having really terrible dreams again. I think at least one of those awful dreams wasn't my own dream......but I was seeing what one of the "new" ones were dreaming. I do know that's not unusual for me to see/share dreams with the others. A while back.....I saw a horrible dream that Yondu was having.

Our T is actually a little better.....but still not giving us advice. At least our T is referring to us by name now.

I don't know what to do. If I thought we had a mess before......it's EVEN WORSE now. Our protectors are even overwhelmed by the "surge". Ugh! :(
Body:(Female-28)

There are A LOT of us.
User avatar
Ponyta
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 867
Joined: Sat Jul 07, 2018 2:50 am
Local time: Sun Oct 13, 2019 7:10 pm
Blog: View Blog (0)


ADVERTISEMENT

Re: Problems

Postby Sarandipity » Tue Oct 08, 2019 5:41 pm

I had a really weird night, it was months ago now, where I was dreaming, awake in the room and also was "walking around work" - like I was there, it felt. Really weird, really messes with your mind.

Wishing you to get through this, sending good vibes.
Main IW:
Obsidian
Beth KarenPatrickPeterRose
No-one Paul and Lilly
Terra Magicka: The Twins (Batcho and Fortune)Sue the secutary. Jane, a general memory bank.
(Silent Lake : The Overlord/Mr BrightsideThe Whisperers (whisper whats outside), The Lightbringers (shine on parts to front), Martin and Janet (children with tails and wings)).
Sarandipity
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 1018
Joined: Thu Jun 14, 2018 8:25 pm
Local time: Sun Oct 13, 2019 11:10 pm
Blog: View Blog (2)

Re: Problems

Postby Ponyta » Wed Oct 09, 2019 1:21 am

Sarandipity wrote:I had a really weird night, it was months ago now, where I was dreaming, awake in the room and also was "walking around work" - like I was there, it felt. Really weird, really messes with your mind.

Wishing you to get through this, sending good vibes.



Thank you! I greatly appreciate it! :)
Body:(Female-28)

There are A LOT of us.
User avatar
Ponyta
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 867
Joined: Sat Jul 07, 2018 2:50 am
Local time: Sun Oct 13, 2019 7:10 pm
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: Problems

Postby ArbreMonde » Wed Oct 09, 2019 7:50 am

Sending moral support your way!

I understand how tough it is when dreams become so realistic you take them for the physical world up until you wake up. Happened to me a few times. I don't like it at all.

I sincerely hope that guardians/protectors from your inside will help you manage all the new ones showing up for you to meet. Meeting new ones is nice and all, but, one at a time, and in an organized fashion, is more bearable.

Good luck. It really sounds overwhelming.

--Zami--
Multiple system Dx autistic, depression, c-PTSD...

They/them: --Zami--
He/him: -X- or -David- | oOo van H. oOo | //Ulysses// | °Isaïa° | ((Wolf)) | {Envy} | #Uriel# | .....
She/her: ~Theia~ | oOo Mrs. H. oOo | *Reyna* | .....
User avatar
ArbreMonde
Consumer 5
Consumer 5
 
Posts: 149
Joined: Fri Sep 06, 2019 2:28 pm
Local time: Mon Oct 14, 2019 12:10 am
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: Problems

Postby Ponyta » Fri Oct 11, 2019 3:25 pm

ArbreMonde wrote:Sending moral support your way!

I understand how tough it is when dreams become so realistic you take them for the physical world up until you wake up. Happened to me a few times. I don't like it at all.

I sincerely hope that guardians/protectors from your inside will help you manage all the new ones showing up for you to meet. Meeting new ones is nice and all, but, one at a time, and in an organized fashion, is more bearable.

Good luck. It really sounds overwhelming.

--Zami--



Thank you! I greatly appreciate your kind words! :)
Body:(Female-28)

There are A LOT of us.
User avatar
Ponyta
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 867
Joined: Sat Jul 07, 2018 2:50 am
Local time: Sun Oct 13, 2019 7:10 pm
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: Problems

Postby Ponyta » Fri Oct 11, 2019 3:37 pm

Today is really bad. With everything going on.....I feel like I'm being torn apart from the inside. Way too much chaos in the inner world lately.

In the inner world:

Two of the guys are being held in our medical room (they both are injured)

Another (different) guy is demanding that I give him something right now(which is out of the question....at least right now....due to issues going on)

Plus there are a lot of other fights going on. In fact.....due to that.....there's even major damage to our inner world building (where everyone has a room).


UGH!!!!! :(


It was bad before.....but now things are even worse. I feel utterly crazy. Horrible feeling in our (body's) brain. It almost feels as if it got brush-burned.....or something......I'm not sure what it is. It's not like a headache.....at least I don't think so. It's more like some kind of pressure. I feel sick from all of this. :(
Body:(Female-28)

There are A LOT of us.
User avatar
Ponyta
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 867
Joined: Sat Jul 07, 2018 2:50 am
Local time: Sun Oct 13, 2019 7:10 pm
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: Problems

Postby Ponyta » Fri Oct 11, 2019 8:15 pm

I don't know what's going on. We're really bad today. We got an 87 on the dissociation scale. According to an old post (I found)..... we normally run in the 60s.

Bought food today that needs to stay cold. Well.....apparently I placed it on the counter.....and if Weirdo wouldn't of spotted the bag when he did......guaranteed it would've been spoiled. I don't even remember buying the food to begin off with. So maybe it wasn't me? It felt like I was the one who put it on the counter anyway.

UGH! I don't know what happened to our communication.....but stuff like this has been happening A LOT lately. In fact......I think it's worse than ever.

I can't get a clear picture of the inner world today. I can't even feel the others right now.....but I do know they're there. Hard to say how I know. It's just things are REALLY weird right now. I don't feel right.

Is it bad that I feel like "who am I anyway?" I don't look right in the mirror. That's super creepy.

I feel as if I'm going to scream right now. It's so awful (the feeling in my head ) right now. I don't know what it is. It feels as if something is rubbing against my brain. I do know that it isn't an actual "medical problem" because we had several normal MRIs. It almost feels as if five or more are fighting each other to "take over"....at the same time.....plus trying to push me out of the way. BUT yet I have no clue. I can't hear or see anything like that right now. UGH! :(
Body:(Female-28)

There are A LOT of us.
User avatar
Ponyta
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 867
Joined: Sat Jul 07, 2018 2:50 am
Local time: Sun Oct 13, 2019 7:10 pm
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: Problems

Postby Floralie » Fri Oct 11, 2019 9:41 pm

This is what I was trying to warn you about, sad that it was too late and there are "riots" inside now. I did not warn to get to say what did I told you, but to prevent this from happening, because I really don't know what to do inside.

Remember first things first. Outside life, that's where you can really die, so if your communication is hard and time is missing, put alarms to your phone to be sure you remember eat and drink and shower and do normal daily tasks. That is priority, and to keep people able to do those things safe.

If there's a risk someone who wants to hurt you is able to come outside and hurt the body, don't hesitate to go to the hospital to be safe.

Keep yourself safe and listen to your protectors now. It's too much happening at the same time, can your T help you to stabilize yourself and Weirdo? Do grounding exercises help you, are you able to do them? Or try to relax and try to be aware of the mess going on and the feeling, but with accepting it, so you can have rest too. Can you still sleep enough?

Sadly I don't have contact to the system who had the nuclear war thing inside them anymore. I don't know what they did, I know they weren't able to handle normal life outside, so they needed to be hospitalized to remember eat and drink and that stuff. Other than being hospitalized, I don't know or remember if she was able to do something or was it just waiting for things to settle down.

No one can die inside, and inner world is subconscious, you can rebuild everything that breaks in there after things have settled down. If I was you, I'd listen to protectors carefully.

We're feeling for you although don't really know what to do or say, because we don't know how to advice. Could your T ask for consultation from someone experienced with DID? I do not know, but I still feel the best thing would be to have some kind of diplomat. They could find out why those parts wanna hurt other parts, have they been hurt by them or what is it about. And then try to negotiate some kind of deal. That would be best solution possible, but it can be hard to do. Who would they listen to?

Hang in there, crisis do end and you'll be fine in the end. It's just hard time now, but there's life after hard times too.

Floralie
Floralie F main front
Sami M 16 (15-26) defender (trauma)
Lucas M 16 (19) bridge-builder, self care (trauma)
Leon M 4 (trauma?)
Ferro M 14/24 protector (trauma)
Rami M 25 inner protector/caretaker manager
Anastasia F 26 inner caretaker, female sexuality
Jules M 11 main trauma holder with DID
User avatar
Floralie
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 901
Joined: Thu Aug 02, 2018 1:50 pm
Local time: Mon Oct 14, 2019 2:10 am
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: Problems

Postby sleepingwolf » Sat Oct 12, 2019 12:27 pm

We just wanted to say we hear you guys and we're sending you the best wishes and positive vibes your way.

It sounds really tough, but you're talking about it and trying to make sense of it, and that is such a good think...keep doing that!

Things will settle and calm, just look after yourselves as best you can. Is there anything calming or relaxing you guys can do, even for a break, for like five mins? :)

Wishing you all the absolute best. Thinking of you guys. You're not alone :)


Gothika
The Albion System - 90 Tribal members
11 Co-Hosts
A bunch of Littles
A few pure Warriors
Some Faeries
Some Proud Animals
A whole load of amazing guys...
User avatar
sleepingwolf
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 207
Joined: Fri Jul 13, 2018 7:55 pm
Local time: Sun Oct 13, 2019 11:10 pm
Blog: View Blog (0)


Return to Dissociative Identity Disorder Forum




  • Related articles
    Replies
    Views
    Last post

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: birdsong87, LearningToo, TeddyBear the helper and 88 guests